April 7, 2016
Mom and Dad are making me take ballroom dance lessons. When I called Paul at university and told
him, he said, “I’m so glad I am not there.
I would have to take lessons too and I would be your dance partner
instead of dad.” Why am I there? Yes, mom had another conversation with Elly
Patterson. She hates it when Elly
Patterson looks down on her, which has been kind of all her life. Mom and dad didn’t go to university like Elly
did. With just a high school education Mom
and dad wouldn’t have their business if it weren’t for her husband giving them
money to start and she never forgets to remind her. I hate it when she talks about how the only
reason mom and dad are together is because her son got a zit on his face and
told dad he had to take mom to the dance instead of him.
So, Elly was all “Nowadays, people just gyrate around to
something like wailing and thumping. Whatever happened to the art of ballroom
dancing? What kind of dancing does
Rosemary do at her school? I bet it’s
just gyrating like all the kids these days.”
So, mom went all “Dancing with the Stars” on us. Ballroom dance lessons. 6 weeks of it.
Dad is not about ballroom dancing. If he had a choice, he would spend all day
working in the car repair part of one of his dealerships. Actually, he does that sometimes because he
really loves cars and when you’re the boss, you can do whatever you want. I love working on cars with my dad. I know he kind of wanted Paul to love cars
like he did, but that’s not the way it goes.
Mom wants me to go to university like Paul, but I have my husband picked
out and I plan to go to the Milborough Auto Mechanic School. Life is set for me, except for having to
learn to ballroom dance.
funny thing happens at the ballroom dance class. The instructor is this woman named Allyson
Creemore. Mom and Dad were both
completely surprised. Dad said that he
had a big time crush on her in high school and that mom hated her for being a
mean girl. That was over 20 years ago,
but you know Milborough. It’s like high
school never goes away.
Allyson Creemore is like super skinny with a giant chest (she’s had major work
done), and she’s been divorced twice. Mom
told me she married some guy right out of high school, divorced him, and then
she married some guy she dated in high school, Peter Kent, from the Milborough TV
news, you know, and that didn’t last either.
In Milborough, that means she’s a major slut. She’s sees dad and she’s like “Well, Gordon
Mayes. Why didn’t we ever go on that
date back in Grade 11?” And then when
she’s doing the dance instruction, she’s like “I need a partner to show how
this step should go. Gordon? Why do you come up here and help me.” She’s like all over dad and it’s making me
really mad. I ask mom why she doesn’t do
anything to help dad out, and she’s like “Your father has to defend
himself. I can’t be there every time
some gold digger comes after him.”
So, the first
time we get to practice the dancing step I go over and it’s like I have to peel
this Allyson off of dad. He looks so
happy to see me. Dad has to deal with
this all time. He’s the richest guy in
Milborough and got to be weird that all the kids that treated him like crap in
high school are all really nice to him now.
The girls try to seduce him and the boys all pretend like they are his
best friend and they ask him for money. Money
makes people weird. I’ve seen dad ditch
the bitches before, but he’s kinda shaky with Allyson. He’s like, “Thanks, Rosie. If I survive this ballroom dancing lesson, I can
After the lesson
is over, mom is really mad. Dad’s smart
and doesn’t say anything about the lesson.
He starts talking about how he got a call from Aunt Ardith, dad’s older
sister. And then he starts talking about
how they have a dinner party with Gavin Caine and Roger Arsenault on Friday. And then mom just says, “Are you still in
love with her?” Dad got really quiet and
said, “Are you still in love with Martin Bean?” And I was like, “Who is Martin
Bean?” Dad said Martin Bean was a guy
mom had a crush on in high school before me.
And then I got it. In Milborough,
you marry your first love. I have my
husband all set, but dad and mom were each other’s second love. I was like, “Whoa! You are second loves. How did you guys ever end up married?”
Then mom and
dad told me that they got married because they were best friends and they fell
in love. No Michael Patterson zit. Nothing the Pattersons did at all. Not because of being childhood
sweethearts. Dad said the whole childhood
sweetheart thing was stupid. Mom said
that sometimes when she thinks of dad, it was like she didn’t exist until it was
time for dad to find a wife.
It made me
think. I am already sort of engaged, but
do I want to marry a guy just because we kinda liked each other back when we
were 6? Maybe I should be like mom and
dad and marry a guy that I fall in love with.
Nyah! What am I thinking? That’s just crazy.