We started this whole For Better or For Worse
strip sequence with Michael staring at Elizabeth and it appears that is how it is ending. I expect that tomorrow’s strip will be a jump back to modern Elizabeth and April concluding the storyline, but you can’t really tell. After all, the Connie Poirier storyline did not end up back with Connie, Elly and Iris.
The majour thing accomplished during the course of this 3-week run of reprints appears to be a retcon that little Michael was 5 years old when the early strips happened, not 6. Of course, the website has Michael born on April 28, 1976. This puts him at 5 in 1981. The website also has Elizabeth born on June 26, 1981; so the retcon of Michael’s age is also officially setting the early strips in 1981and not 1980. I anticipate that if we ever see a year marked on a hybrid strip, we will find that changed also.
November has been a nothing month compared to the very active October. If Lynn Johnston continues this scheme of every other month we get new material, then we will have a busy December, a reprint January and a busy February. Let’s see if I can predict the state of things in December:
a. Thanks to Christmas and Santa’s divorce from Mrs. Claus, Mike Patterson’s book will achieve astonishing sales as people seek solace in an industry completely different from toy-making, i.e. post-WWII sod farming.
b. Grandpa Jim will make the transition to Sunset Manor, still saying nothing and keeping his eyes closed like he is asleep. However Iris will interpret for him that he loves the new place and can’t wait to ogle the Sunset Manor staff girls. In the meantime, Lynn Johnston will do a lot of research on long-term care facilities and retcon all the mistakes in the first strip where she talked about it (like 2 year reservation lists), while making brand new mistakes due to her inability to follow her own notes and Polaroid pictures on the matter. Shortly thereafter, Lynn will get an award from a long-term care facility organization.
c. A Sunday strip will humorously refer to John Patterson as philanderer, a skunk, a snake or some other derogatory animal term associated with men who cheat.
d. Anthony Caine will propose to Elizabeth Patterson on New Years’ Eve using romantic language so hackneyed and a storyline so improbably put-together that the Brontës, Ann Radcliffe
, and Jane Austen
will simultaneously turn in their graves. We snarkers will be in heaven.
e. There will be one speech balloon in one panel of one strip, where someone will mention that John Patterson retired and sold his business.
f. Christmas will come and Lynn Johnston will do a joke with Merrie and Robin about how they didn’t get enough presents, or a joke about Santa Claus delivering presents which Robin will interpret literally. In the meantime, we will not question why Anthony Caine and little Françoise are celebrating Christmas with the Pattersons; while Grandpa Jim, Iris and the Sobinskis are not.
g. I will cry bitter tears when Thérèse Caine does not appear.
January will be reprints, narrated by characters having little or nothing to do with the strips being reprinted.
February will have:
a. Anthony and Elizabeth get married and have their wedding corresponding to Valentine’s Day, except of course it will go all February about the events occurring on Valentine’s Day. To make matters worse, 2008 is a leap year.
b. In between the strips about the wedding, we will break off for one week to see April at school, having a conversation with Shannon Lake, who reveals she (like real-life Stephanie) has taken a trip to Washington, D.C. to talk about being special needs. Unlike real-life, the Washington, D. C. people will heap praise on Shannon and declare it Shannon Lake Day, only to change it to April Patterson Day, when Shannon informs them she couldn’t have made that trip if it weren’t for April occasionally talking to her.
c. When we return to Elizabeth’s wedding, we will discover that Anthony’s mom and dad are selfish, self-centered pigs; who happened to have picked up the entire tab for the wedding and the honeymoon. Elly and John have made the ultimate sacrifice and paid for Anne Nichols to make the cake. Anthony and Elizabeth can’t stop talking about how wonderful the cake is, and how awful the rest of their wedding was, thanks to Anthony’s parents.
d. As Anthony and Elizabeth leave for their honeymoon, John and Elly proclaim to each other, “No more kids to worry about getting married!! They high five and slap each other on the back and talk about how wonderful it will be have a new granddaughter in the house as we see April baby-sitting little Françoise while Anthony and Elizabeth take their honeymoon.
e. Anthony and Elizabeth return from their honeymoon and announce Elizabeth is pregnant. Elizabeth, Deanna and Elly all high five each other as Elizabeth says, “I don’t know how it happened.”
Let’s see how many of those predictions come true.