Elly's Diary May 6, 2019

Dear Diary,

It’s been 3 years since I last wrote you and not much has happened.  Everyone knows about my boyfriend P, but I call him “partner” now and wear a ring on my finger just to confuse people.  I have hinted around for years now and P still has not put a real ring on my finger to make us official. 

 

My daughter thought it might be fun for her to pull out items from the garage and then ask to remember stories behind them.  She calls it the “Deep Dive Items from Our Archives”, but I think of it more like a dumpster dive.  I think she’s worried about my memory, just because I have a hard time remembering the names of my granddaughters.  I think there is a grandson in there too, but who cares about boys, if they are making me wait so long for a proposal?  All he seems to want to do is take vacations with me and give me great sex.  It’s good to do those kinds of things with P. I remember with John, it seemed like every time I had sex with him I would end up pregnant.  I don’t have that problem with P.  The first time we did it, I was afraid that here comes another baby, but it didn’t happen that way.  It’s another way that P is better than John.

Back to the dumpster dive.  We had a whole bunch of board games that were “cooperation games” where you help each other out and there is no winning.  Why did I buy those?  We never played them.  After all, we Pattersons were all about winning with no effort at all on our parts. Why would we get a board game where we couldn’t win?  I don’t remember exactly, but I think someone paid us to take the games.

 

The other thing my daughter did was to buy dozens and dozens of 4X4” canvases.  She said I could paint on them and it would keep my mind busy.  Just to get back at her, I drew pictures of monsters that looked like demented cats, dog, birds and fish.  I think I did a pretty good job because she screamed when she saw them.  She said, “What are those horrible-looking things?”  I said, ‘They’re not horrible.  I could easily see them used in fabric design.”  My daughter looked at me as if I was nuts, and maybe I was.  There is only long a woman can go on without a proposal.

I started singing the song "Single Ladies" to him because that song is all about how the woman can't get the man to propose. P is into music, so I thought he could relate.  He just told me to stop that horrible racket and go back to painting diseased animals on canvas.  I said they were "demented" and not "diseased".  P thinks any animal with its eyes hanging off its body has some kind of disease.

 

Oh well.  See you again in 3 years.
 

Elly