The Older Brother’s Lament
With the reprints of For Better or For Worse, it is sometimes difficult to see the younger characters without also seeing what the character will ultimately become. The young Michael, desperate for his mother’s love over his sister, is a theme which will carry through for a lot of years in this strip and even into his adult life. I have to admire Lynn Johnston’s remarkable consistency with the theme.
Back in 1980, this strip is very realistic, and shows what appears to be one of the few moments where Elly Patterson applies what I would consider a good parenting technique. I have two kids, one boy and one girl, and when the question comes up about which child we love the best, which both my children have asked me, I often say “You’re my favourite son” or “You’re my favourite daughter.” Once my kids got wise to that answer, then the answer became, “I love both of you equally.” Unknown to my kids, the first answer was the correct one.
I find that there are certain characteristics about my daughter, which I just love. Many times they are characteristics which are traditionally considered to be feminine in nature. It is not considered to be politically correct to think of certain traits as male or female, but nevertheless, that is the way they come out of my children, and can hardly think of anything I do to encourage it one way or the other.
My daughter is the second born, and she was born into a house which had nothing but “boy” toys in it, largely purchased by others: trucks, cars, footballs, and of course, some stuffed animals. My daughter, in her earliest days, discovered those stuffed animals and did something with them my son never did. She would put diapers on them, and put them to bed, and hug and snuggle on them. When I consider my daughter now, lying in a bed with dozens of stuffed animals around it, I love that caring part of her.
On the other hand, my boy is very boyish, and those parts of his character, which include big hugs, big laughs, and aggressive physical behaviour are delightful too. He loves to build things, and construct things out of nothing, and has all the spatial skills which are considered to be the traditional venue of boys. I love him seeing him go to work, and produce things which are impressive by any standard.
In my family, I was the oldest, with 2 younger sisters, and I remember my sisters got away with murder, just as Michael complains about today. Each kid does what they can do to get what they can get. As the oldest, I got to drive first, date first, leave the house first, and set the standard in school by which my sisters would be judged by the teachers who had me prior to them. On the other hand, with two younger sisters, if Michael experienced what I experienced as an older son, he would discover that his sisters would be taken care of better, when it came to injuries, or clothing, or higher education.
However, for his age, Michael’s lament is appropriate. If I were reading the strip without any preconceived notions back in 1980, I would say the dialogue is realistic, but the awful art (namely those deformed hands and overly long arms) would turn me off. However, given what we have seen in the hybrid so far, this is one of the better strips. I can actually relate to it, for a change.
Back in 1980, this strip is very realistic, and shows what appears to be one of the few moments where Elly Patterson applies what I would consider a good parenting technique. I have two kids, one boy and one girl, and when the question comes up about which child we love the best, which both my children have asked me, I often say “You’re my favourite son” or “You’re my favourite daughter.” Once my kids got wise to that answer, then the answer became, “I love both of you equally.” Unknown to my kids, the first answer was the correct one.
I find that there are certain characteristics about my daughter, which I just love. Many times they are characteristics which are traditionally considered to be feminine in nature. It is not considered to be politically correct to think of certain traits as male or female, but nevertheless, that is the way they come out of my children, and can hardly think of anything I do to encourage it one way or the other.
My daughter is the second born, and she was born into a house which had nothing but “boy” toys in it, largely purchased by others: trucks, cars, footballs, and of course, some stuffed animals. My daughter, in her earliest days, discovered those stuffed animals and did something with them my son never did. She would put diapers on them, and put them to bed, and hug and snuggle on them. When I consider my daughter now, lying in a bed with dozens of stuffed animals around it, I love that caring part of her.
On the other hand, my boy is very boyish, and those parts of his character, which include big hugs, big laughs, and aggressive physical behaviour are delightful too. He loves to build things, and construct things out of nothing, and has all the spatial skills which are considered to be the traditional venue of boys. I love him seeing him go to work, and produce things which are impressive by any standard.
In my family, I was the oldest, with 2 younger sisters, and I remember my sisters got away with murder, just as Michael complains about today. Each kid does what they can do to get what they can get. As the oldest, I got to drive first, date first, leave the house first, and set the standard in school by which my sisters would be judged by the teachers who had me prior to them. On the other hand, with two younger sisters, if Michael experienced what I experienced as an older son, he would discover that his sisters would be taken care of better, when it came to injuries, or clothing, or higher education.
However, for his age, Michael’s lament is appropriate. If I were reading the strip without any preconceived notions back in 1980, I would say the dialogue is realistic, but the awful art (namely those deformed hands and overly long arms) would turn me off. However, given what we have seen in the hybrid so far, this is one of the better strips. I can actually relate to it, for a change.
posted by howard at 10:45 PM
8 Comments:
I can too, oddly enough, seeing as I'm one of the youngest in mine. I can see why Michael felt deprived because, as you've said and we've seen, this display of decency was so rare. Michael, like every child I've ever met, assumed that someone who yells at him hates him. This means that he thought that Elly was telling him a lie. Lack of awareness on both sides led inevitably to his becoming the sullen, defiant little boy we remember seeing.
dreadedcandiru2,
You have made an excellent point. I don't have a collection of the collections, but it would be interesting to see how young Michael reacted every time Elly or John gave him a hug or acted tenderly to him. I wonder if he ever accepted it, or if it always led to an emotional outburst used as a punch line.
I don't have any from that period myself but I do recall a child who acted out because he thought his parents and kid sister were ganging up on him. Somewhere along the way though, his memories seem to have been drenched in a syrup of sentimentality. I'd say that he sees the photos of his past, taken on those rare occasions when he and Liz were getting along, and assumed that that was the norm.
I'd say that he sees the photos of his past, taken on those rare occasions when he and Liz were getting along, and assumed that that was the norm.
That could be. There is an old photo of me when I was a young lad, where I was clearly in a foul mood. Whenever my dad sees that picture, he gets all guilty-looking, and says I was a very unhappy child at that age. According to my dad, it was because the first 6 years of my life, my family moved at least once a year. I don't remember being unhappy, but many of my relatives told me I was.
Without any kind of picture like that, I can believe Michael might develop a selective memory. On the other hand, he could be acting just like Lynn Johnston did when her mother was still alive, and spoke of her in glowing terms. When Elly is dead, then we might see Mike with a whole different outlook on those memories.
Of course! The Patterson philosopy of complaining being good for you unless the person you're complaining about hears of it would no longer apply after her urn is interred. Then, everyone within earshot would have to endure a lengthy, bitter diatribe about a foolish woman who stupidly pitted her children against one another, followed by a ham-fisted attempt at reconciliation. We might also see an honest appraisal of who did what and why with regards to the Farley incident.
dreadedcandiru2,
Suddenly, I am filled with a strange desire for Elly's death, and it's not the usual one I get.
I've just seen an excellent original post degenerate into poppycock.
Anon NYC
Anon NYC,
I do get a tad silly from time to time, but "poppycock"? I don't think I reached that level. :)
At least you seemed to like the original post.
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