Friday, September 30, 2005

Howard and Liz

The October monthly letters on the For Better or For Worse website came out today and I was elated to see that Elizabeth’s letter mentioned my character again. I thought Howard had disappeared forever. It was interesting because it solved a number of questions that had been remaining since the September letters:

Solved #1: How did the other 2 women find out about Liz’s charges to file their own? Liz says she thinks she mentioned how the weekly police report in the newspaper named Howard, but not her. It was cleverly worded with “I think” since she didn’t actually mention it. Also, it was nice to note that this time; it was written as “sexual assault” instead of the garden variety, plain vanilla assault.

Solved #2: Is Howard in jail, in prison or out on bail? The answer is he is out on bail, thanks to Mommy and Daddy. The use of the Mommy and Daddy term implies that they have money. Of course, if they had money, Howard wouldn’t have been working a low salary physical labor job at Lakeshore Landscaping. I solved this incongruity by having Howard reuniting with his estranged parents. That way, they can have money and it still explains Howard’s employment choice.

Solved #3 (sort of): What is Howard’s fate? The Liz letter makes it pretty clear that she expects Howard to plead guilty and go to jail for just under 2 years because of those fearsome four video tapes. Someone will have to explain to me the significance of the videos. Why would that make any more difference than someone pressing charges? If dropping the “Mother and Father” line in the letter means Howard’s family has money, then there is no way Howard is going to plead guilty and we are going to trial. I would love for there to be a “Howard on Trial” storyline. I suspect though that “Mother and Father” was just a slap at Howard’s parents and a guilty plea is on the way in the November monthly letters.

Back in early September, a knowledgeable anonymous poster to Howard Kelpfroth’s Blog indicated that:

Howard's charges under the Criminal Code (criminal law is federal rather than provincial) would be sexual assault. If the Crown elects to proceed summarily, the maximum sentence would be 18 months. If the Crown elects to proceed by way of indictment, the maximum sentence would be 10 years.

If the writer of the Liz letter investigated this properly, then this would mean that Liz is thinking that Howard is going to be indicted and not summarily charged. I don’t know how that could possibly work, since Liz was basically unharmed after her assault and gathering physical evidence from the other 2 women would be difficult after a long period of time passed since their assault. Naturally, I don’t think the writer of the Liz letter investigated it. I suspect that 2 years was chosen for no other reason than it works out well with the projected end time of the For Better or For Worse strip. Given this, I am sure that if Howard gets mentioned again, he will have pleaded guilty.

My anonymous poster’s original estimation was: “30 days per charge if Howard enters a fast guilty plea.” That is quite a bit different than the 2 years predicted by Liz. My plan is for my Howard to stay out on bail until either the strip or the monthly letters puts him in jail. So he is free to snark for at least another month.

I only hope that if he is put in jail, it will not happen before I can resolve a conflict that I have been setting up for weeks with Howard and Beatrice Alfarero. Her bio in the FBOFW website says that “Beatrice is a single mom with a colourful past.” She has not physically appeared once in the strip since she was hired. But I have in mind a colourful past involving Howard, if only Lynn will bring her back and explore that past a little. That may also be coming, since Elly mentioned her specifically in her October monthly letter.

Unlike my fellow ARB posters qnjones and aprilp_katje, who have expressed to me that when they post as Becky and April, they become the characters, I cannot say the same about me and Howard. I am looking forward to posting as Constable Paul Wright, whom I predict will reappear sometime around December. I also enjoyed posting briefly as Jeremy Jones, a character recently abandoned by mst3k4evr (Still crying about her departure. I miss my posting buddy for Kortney Krelbutz.) and clearly on the rise in the For Better or For Worse strip. He was mentioned quite prominently in April’s October monthly letter, so I think there is something coming up with him. If it does, and nobody else has taken the character by that time, Jeremy may be asking for a few snarky postings by howtheduck.

3 Comments:

Blogger April Patterson said...

Just say the word, and I'll add you as Jeremy and/or any other character you'd like to portray. :)

10:49 AM  
Blogger April Patterson said...

I hope you don't mind that I've placed you at the party tonight, along with the usual suspects. :)

3:17 PM  
Blogger howard said...

aprilp_katje. I had not planned to do Freeman snark. I figured since it was your suggestion you had something in mind. But I cannot refuse the continuity goddess. Your wish is my command. Freeman snark it is.

As for Jeremy, he is prime snarking material, so I would like to leave him open in case someone else decides to join our party. However, if that hasn't happened and Jeremy tells me that he really needs to snark, I will step in.

7:57 PM  

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