John Hurts His Back

Interviewer:  We are talking to the main man in the Patterson clan, Dr. John Patterson.  Welcome to the podcast, John.  Today we are going to talk about the episode titled “John Hurts His Back.”  The title pretty much tells us the story.  What insights can you give us about the reenactment?  

John:  In real life, this was not one of my favourites, as you can probably guess.  Back pain is no fun and honestly, there are not a lot of laughs there.  The reenactment was a lot more fun.  Instead of April, we got twin girls to play the part of April.  The rules for reenactment limit the number of hours girls that age can work.  With twins we get the same number of hours as one actor for the part.  These girls were as sweet as can be and their mother watched them like a hawk.  I hadn’t been around someone who watched their child so carefully, so that was a new experience for me.

Interviewer:  Tell us about this first scene.  April bites you to get your attention.

 

John:  In real life, April went right through my pants and drew blood.  I think I still have the scar.  After that, I started to wear thick jeans whenever I was around her.  We had let her run around without paying attention to her for so long, her psychiatrist said she was acting like a feral animal. 

Interviewer:  Amazing.  How did you deal with the problem?

John:  April?  Oh, we put her in vet school. 

Interviewer:  Okay.  How about the twins?

John:  No vet school for them.  They were pros, but even the twins had a really tough time with it because they had been taught biting was bad.  Imagine that!  They had to try both girls and neither one of them wanted to bite me on the leg.  Finally, they agreed to slobber on my leg and I had to pretend to react.   It was a pretty pleasant experience compared to the original.

Interviewer:  Here’s the scene with the actual back injury.  

 

John:  The reenactment was pretty fun.  They switched out the twins from panel to panel, which is why they look a little in each panel.  The “CRAK” was added with sound effects, since backs don’t really make that sound.  Then for the final bit, they had to put these massive comedy teeth in my mouth to achieve the visual. 

Interviewer:  They look painful.

John:  They were.  The hardest part about pretending to pull my back was the teeth.   The problem after that was I fell on my front and I was supposed to fall on my back to set up the joke with Farley slobbering on me and April putting her stuffed bear on me.  I told the director, I could do it again and land on the other side, but she insisted I could roll over and get to that spot.  Of course, we got comments from back injury experts that I should have stayed where I was.   See in the first panel, you can tell we are on a set and not actually at our house.  Elly steps up onto the set.  See her feet are below the floor.  Farley comes in like he was hiding behind a wall.  You can’t do that in a house, but you can on a set.

 

Interviewer:  Funny.  Where did you shoot this?

John:  It was at a little studio near Toronto.  They did Rocket Robin Hood animation there and they had the space.  The dog trainer for our Farley put a little treat beside my head and the dog had no trouble slobbering on it.  The got it in one take.  Very efficient.  The real Farley died years ago, so they got a stunt dog named Willy, and he did a great job.   

Interviewer:  In real life, did Elly just call the doctor, or did you go see an actual doctor and get an X-ray? 

John:  You don’t mess with your back. We went to the doctor and I got tested.  We wanted to reenact that part too, but the director said we did not have the budget to show an X-ray or an MRI.  Frankly, it does not give the right impression if a medical profession does not know what to do in an emergency, but budget..

Interviewer:  Do you really use frozen vegetables instead of an ice pack?

John:  No.  I am a medical professional.   We have ice packs in my house.  The director thought it would be funnier to use frozen vegetables.  Artistic licence is what they call it, but it was corporate sponsorship from the frozen vegetable company.  They were unhappy you could not see their brand label very well. 

Interviewer:  Next we have in bed for 3-4 days with a pulled muscle.   Was that the correct diagnosis?

John:  No.  Sciatica.  I got some paracetamol and diclofenac to help with the pain.  I was out for a few weeks.  For the purposes of the reenactment, they changed that to a pulled muscle and 3-4 days.  I guess the real injury was considered to be too scary for the kids who watch these reenactment.

Interviewer:  Any sympathy from Michael or was it like what they showed here?

John:  Part of this is right.  Elly started driving my car and that meant Michael could drive Elly’s car.  He was pretty excited.  I was excited that Elly did not total my car.  When I got better, there were scratches all over my car, but it was still drivable.  That was an improvement over the last time.

Interviewer:  Did Elly really leave you at home and go to work?

John:  This part is a little delicate.  In the reenactments they like to preserve the idea that Elly was the perfect mother and wife.  

Interviewer:  So, you are saying Elly did go to work and leave you there?

John:  She was at that point in our relationship, where that was the best she could do.  When Elly left to go to work, there was no lunch and there was no librarian telling her she was doing a good job.  That was for the reenactment.  It helped Elly feel better about herself, but it did not help me.  Even in the reenactment there was a backlash over her not taking any time off. 

Interviewer:  Too many medical doctors watching the reenactments?

John:  No, just people with common sense, who know how a marriage is supposed to work.  In real life, Farley helped me out.  He was such a good dog.  The stunt dog was very smart, but he was no Farley. 

Interviewer:  Is this the reason why you have this odd dialogue where you talk about Elly leaving you if you were permanently bedridden?

John:  Yes.  It had nothing to do with soap operas, which I don’t watch.   The dialogue here is very close to the response Elly gave in the actual situation.  Notice she does not answer those questions, but changes the subject. 

Interviewer:  In this scene where you are moving around, did you actually scream like that?

 

John:  Hell, no!  You don’t mess with backs.  I am a dentist and my back has to be good.  I waited until my back was much better before I started back to work.  That said, it was fun to do all that screaming in the reenactment.  Normally, Elly gets all the screaming moments, but this time it was all John Patterson!  It was like for one brief, shining moment, I was Elly Patterson.

Interviewer:  That’s the end.  I would like to thank John Patterson for coming out to talk to us.

John:  My pleasure.  I look forward to the next one.