When the Going Get Tough, Don’t Call Elly
When we started on this “Elly stays with Grandpa Jim” adventure, I had wondered whether or not Elly had the fortitude to be able to lift and push Grandpa Jim around as we have seen Iris do. And there were also the addition questions of whether or not Elly would be giving her father a bath or wiping his butt or helping him to the washroom if he woke up in the middle of the night or having to feed him by hand. Thanks to today’s For Better or For Worse, we can see that Elly will not have to do any of those things. The nurses will do the bathing and apparently Grandpa Jim can handle all the other things himself.
Why is it necessary for Lynn Johnston to describe all these unpleasant elements of taking care of Grandpa Jim that Elly will not have to do? Elly actually says that Jim will be fine because she doesn’t have to do these things. The implication is that she would not be fine with taking care of Grandpa Jim if she had to do them. And that leads us to think that the whole reason why Elly Patterson has stayed away from helping Iris with her father since he had his stroke in October, 2006 is because she did not want to and possibly was incapable of doing those things for him. I am not sure what Lynn Johnston is after with such a statement. How can she paint a picture of Elly the perfect daughter, if the perfect daughter can’t do the tough jobs? Does Lynn Johnston think that these jobs are jobs best left to the professionals? Iris is in her 80s, and she can do it.
After having explained why Elly is not doing the tough jobs, Lynn Johnston then has Iris introduce what I would call “inconvenient” jobs, i.e. giving him a little bit of oatmeal before bedtime, leaving a light on at night, making sure he takes his pills, etc. Does Lynn Johnston really think that these little items are going to show Elly is a wonderful daughter? Little Meredith could probably do the jobs Iris requests.
Sorry, Lynn. If Elly wiped Grandpa Jim’s butt or had to give him a bath, I would be impressed. A little oatmeal or flipping on a light at night is completely unimpressive.
When my grandfather got into his 80s, my mom discovered that he had stopped bathing himself. He had gotten in a bathtub and accidentally turned on the hot water by itself, and then when it started burning him, he panicked and couldn’t think to turn on the cold water, and he got badly scalded. This led him to decide that he was no longer going to take a bath for fear of getting burned again. Mom figured it out and agreed to give him baths to make sure he got clean. Naturally this led to an uncomfortable situation for both of them, but they got over it. I was very impressed with my mom for being able to regularly do that for her father for years.
Now Elly Patterson pops in to help out with her father and she doesn’t have to do that. She’s leaving it to the nurses. And not only that, but she feels the need to point that out to Iris so Iris won’t worry that there will be problems. This could be a reasonable reassurance for Iris, because Iris knows Elly is not capable of taking care of her father’s majour needs and Elly knows it too. It’s like Elly saying, “Don’t worry, Iris. I may be an incompetent boob; but that’s OK, because there are competent people who will handle all the tough stuff.” Jim may be in good hands, but those good hands are not Elly’s.
Day 1 of Lynn Johnston trying to show Elly is a great daughter to Jim, and already she has made Elly look worse than she did before. Good job, Lynn!!
Why is it necessary for Lynn Johnston to describe all these unpleasant elements of taking care of Grandpa Jim that Elly will not have to do? Elly actually says that Jim will be fine because she doesn’t have to do these things. The implication is that she would not be fine with taking care of Grandpa Jim if she had to do them. And that leads us to think that the whole reason why Elly Patterson has stayed away from helping Iris with her father since he had his stroke in October, 2006 is because she did not want to and possibly was incapable of doing those things for him. I am not sure what Lynn Johnston is after with such a statement. How can she paint a picture of Elly the perfect daughter, if the perfect daughter can’t do the tough jobs? Does Lynn Johnston think that these jobs are jobs best left to the professionals? Iris is in her 80s, and she can do it.
After having explained why Elly is not doing the tough jobs, Lynn Johnston then has Iris introduce what I would call “inconvenient” jobs, i.e. giving him a little bit of oatmeal before bedtime, leaving a light on at night, making sure he takes his pills, etc. Does Lynn Johnston really think that these little items are going to show Elly is a wonderful daughter? Little Meredith could probably do the jobs Iris requests.
Sorry, Lynn. If Elly wiped Grandpa Jim’s butt or had to give him a bath, I would be impressed. A little oatmeal or flipping on a light at night is completely unimpressive.
When my grandfather got into his 80s, my mom discovered that he had stopped bathing himself. He had gotten in a bathtub and accidentally turned on the hot water by itself, and then when it started burning him, he panicked and couldn’t think to turn on the cold water, and he got badly scalded. This led him to decide that he was no longer going to take a bath for fear of getting burned again. Mom figured it out and agreed to give him baths to make sure he got clean. Naturally this led to an uncomfortable situation for both of them, but they got over it. I was very impressed with my mom for being able to regularly do that for her father for years.
Now Elly Patterson pops in to help out with her father and she doesn’t have to do that. She’s leaving it to the nurses. And not only that, but she feels the need to point that out to Iris so Iris won’t worry that there will be problems. This could be a reasonable reassurance for Iris, because Iris knows Elly is not capable of taking care of her father’s majour needs and Elly knows it too. It’s like Elly saying, “Don’t worry, Iris. I may be an incompetent boob; but that’s OK, because there are competent people who will handle all the tough stuff.” Jim may be in good hands, but those good hands are not Elly’s.
Day 1 of Lynn Johnston trying to show Elly is a great daughter to Jim, and already she has made Elly look worse than she did before. Good job, Lynn!!
posted by howard at 9:40 PM
8 Comments:
howard,
This could be a reasonable reassurance for Iris, because Iris knows Elly is not capable of taking care of her father’s majour needs and Elly knows it too. It’s like Elly saying, “Don’t worry, Iris. I may be an incompetent boob; but that’s OK, because there are competent people who will handle all the tough stuff.” Jim may be in good hands, but those good hands are not Elly’s.
And yet there will be an army of silly people on Coffee Squawk who laud Elly for being extra-helpful. These are, of course, the same folks who praise Anthony for not letting Françoise starve to death on his watch. Not only are the Camera-in-my-living-room brigade inattentive, they also how really low expectations.
dreadedcandiru2,
Not only are the Camera-in-my-living-room brigade inattentive, they also how really low expectations.
I think there is a certain mindset to reading that these folks are in. That is the mindset of "Tell me the story and I will believe what you tell me." That makes a person willing to accept any plothole and any characterization. If you have today’s strip, for example, where Iris is telling Elly that not only does she have good hands but a good heart, then the readers will accept Iris’ opinion. The only way they would not accept Iris’opinion is if some other character in the strip says that Elly has bad hands or a bad heart. Then the reader would have to decide which character is correct.
The advantage the old strip used to have versus the latest incarnation, is that Lynn Johnston used to have characters with differing opinions on the Pattersons – Candace Halloran, Connie Poirier, and even Grandpa Jim. It used to be if Elly Patterson got on her high horse and started talking about how wonderful she is and how hard she has it, you could count on Connie or Jim to take her down a notch. With the readers who accept everything, Connie or Jim were their only means to get a fuller view of the story. Now that Jim is essentially mute (except about his own problems) and Connie has been turned into a "praise Elly" machine, there is no alternate opinion for the Coffee Talk readers. With a snarker like me, I can provide my own counterpoint.
The reason we mock the persons who accept everything, is because we wonder why it is that the persons who accept everything don’t do the same. The tricky part is to understand that even within our position of challenging each For Better or For Worse assertion, we also have an element of acceptance. Elly and Iris both say Grandpa Jim is in good hands, and I can say that Grandpa Jim is in good hands, but not because of Elly, whose contributions will be minimal. And why did I say Elly’s contributions would be minimal? Because Elly herself told me. She pointed out that the nurses are doing the washing and Grandpa Jim can handle his personal stuff, and I accepted it.
In my own little way, I am just as bad as a Coffee Talker.
howard,
Now that Jim is essentially mute (except about his own problems) and Connie has been turned into a "praise Elly" machine, there is no alternate opinion for the Coffee Talk readers. With a snarker like me, I can provide my own counterpoint.
As can I. We do play the same game of "read between the lines" Inman does; we just get a different result. By the way, congratulations of getting into CT today. Elly's presence really isn't as important as she makes it out to be as anybody could do what Iris asked of her.
dreadedcandiru2,
By the way, congratulations of getting into CT today.
It's been awhile since one of my entries was accepted. Reading the other entries was interesting. While I interpret the strip showing Grandpa Jim's increased self-sufficiency, I was astonished to read that many CT commenters interpreted Elly moving in as a sign that Grandpa Jim was about to die. I don't think Elly is so incompetent she will kill Grandpa Jim, so I guess they mean that they are anticipating a "Grandpa Jim dies in Elly's arms" moment. That would be kind of a cool scene, now that I think about it. However, that is not Lynn Johnston's style with humans. She had everyone leave Gramma Marian alone in the hospital (including Grandpa Jim) when Marian died. Now with Farley and Mr. B, it was not a problem for them to die with company.
howard,
Her warped sentimentality that demands that humans, not animals, die alone lends credence to the suggestion that Iris will die in the next few days. I know Lynn promised no casualties and will deliver; it's just that her style gets in the way of the substance.
I don't know--I wonder if Elly's difficulty dealing with with sickness and death with humans is a reflection of Lynn's feelings? The grandma Marion dying alone was a very jarring note in an otherwise good portrayl of death. As I remember, she was also cracking jokes right up until the time of her death--no long, drawn out agony from the relatives around a comatose person.
Yep, Day 1 is spectacular--I'm really thinking this might even out-do the hook-up and romp through the roses story of Anthony and Liz!
dreadedcandiru2,
Her warped sentimentality that demands that humans, not animals, die alone lends credence to the suggestion that Iris will die in the next few days.
That would be an interesting story, but Lynn has no time left to deliver it and the reaction to it in any other way than doing a big “Tell and not show” session. What I wonder is whether or not Iris will be present for the wedding.
debjyn,
I don't know--I wonder if Elly's difficulty dealing with sickness and death with humans is a reflection of Lynn's feelings? The grandma Marion dying alone was a very jarring note in an otherwise good portrayal of death.
This is difficult to say. Lynn’s interview in Caring Today tells us that much of her perspective on her mom’s death was used in the story about Gramma Marian’s death in the strip. One unusual aspect of that article was Lynn’s praise for persons who are in pain but don’t complain about it, and this was used extensively with the Marian death story. The other part about it was that Lynn says that since she was in Ontario and her mother was living in British Columbia, she was not really involved with any of the aspects of dealing with any long, drawn out agony. This may be the reason why there was a separation between the other characters and Gramma Marian when she died. Lynn has a hard time thinking of characters who might have other perspectives than she does, for example a husband who would want to be bedside with his wife when she dies.
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