Just When You Think the Wedding Can't Get Weirder...
After reading today's For Better or For Worse strip, it appears to me that Elizabeth has gathered the troops, divvied up the tasks, and they have gathered together to report their progress to Liz. The most interesting aspects of this are:
a. The troops include the bridesmaids and Deanna’s mother, Mira Sobinski.
b. Liz does not have a list for herself.
c. There are no Caines involved.
When I got married, my wife consulted with her bridesmaids about the bridesmaid dresses, shoes and bouquets. She also talked to them about functions they could attend like certain bridal showers where the bridesmaids were invited and the engagement party and the bachelorette party. If this was what we saw in this strip, I would be quite happy with it. Instead we have a strip that is made of nothing but reading lists. The things that Dawn Enjo and Shawna-Marie Verano are being asked to do are well beyond anything that my wife would have comfortably asked a bridesmaid to do, or would want to ask a bridesmaid to do. The bride is usually particular about the music in her ceremony, for example. She would want a favourite song, something that is meaningful to her. Why would she ask Shawna-Marie to arrange it? It looks like Elizabeth Patterson does not care what goes into her wedding, so long as she can get someone else to do it for her.
This brings into focus the criticisms that have been made of the prior big weddings in this strip. Mike and Deanna’s second fake wedding and Shawna-Marie Verano’s wedding both had the domineering mother-of-the-bride who wanted to control everything and make all the decisions, much to the chagrin of the bride. I had always thought the underlying message of this was, “Have a small wedding, where the bride gets to pick what she wants.” I never would have suspected that the real underlying message is, “Have a big wedding, and delegate people who get to pick what they want.” This egalitarian distribution of wedding planning choices makes it seem like Elizabeth is going for socialist wedding planning. This is not enough to satisfy Elly, who apparently believes that a wedding with no planning is the best of all. However, the other possibility is that we are seeing another mark of Elizabeth losing her independence. Not only does Elizabeth not pick anything for her wedding, but she does not get the luxury of fighting for the right to pick, as Deanna did with her mother.
As for Deanna’s mom, Mira Sobinski, I would have to do some significant reading between the lines to move her from her prior position as the worst wedding person ever to the position of her doing the flower girl dresses with a fabric she chooses. The woman couldn’t even do a Christmas Dinner grace without the Pattersons thinking awful thoughts about her. There has not been a positive strip about Mira Sobinski since Deanna came back from Honduras in 1999. Of course, Mira’s desire to change the wedding colour scheme is supposed to show, once again, that she is evil. But how do you get her from evil to the point where she is doing the flower girl dresses in the first place? Deanna is the better choice, since she has been shown to be seamstress of the year with Liz’s dress. Or a professional dressmaker? Or Elly, who used to sew? Or Melville Kelpfroth? Or a bum off the street? Anyone else to associate with a wedding other than Mira, would be a better choice. What has happened is that Lynn Johnston remembered that 90% of the Mike and Deanna wedding material back in 2001 had to do with Mira, and she simply cannot stop herself from recycling a storyline, even if it makes absolutely no sense.
The Caine women. If they haven’t shown up by now, they don’t exist. We will be lucky to see Anthony’s mom in the background during the wedding. Just consider Anthony to be an orphan boy, adopted by Gordon Mayes, the local rich man. Think Heathcliff and Wuthering Heights.
As for me, tomorrow I begin my annual trip to Dallas, Texas for my wife’s Homemade Gourmet convention and for my kids to visit relatives on my wife’s side of the house. This means that the Howard Bunt Blog will be sporadic for the next week, only occurring when I can find a computer and get enough time to write something.
For aprilp_katje on April’s Real Blog, it turns out to be an incredibly opportune time for you to have “erased” Michael Patterson. That is as good an explanation as any for his lack of posts, and I will put Jeremy Jones out of town also. Good luck this week. I am sorry to have to be gone while Lynn Johnston is doing new wedding material. I will post something when and if I can.
a. The troops include the bridesmaids and Deanna’s mother, Mira Sobinski.
b. Liz does not have a list for herself.
c. There are no Caines involved.
When I got married, my wife consulted with her bridesmaids about the bridesmaid dresses, shoes and bouquets. She also talked to them about functions they could attend like certain bridal showers where the bridesmaids were invited and the engagement party and the bachelorette party. If this was what we saw in this strip, I would be quite happy with it. Instead we have a strip that is made of nothing but reading lists. The things that Dawn Enjo and Shawna-Marie Verano are being asked to do are well beyond anything that my wife would have comfortably asked a bridesmaid to do, or would want to ask a bridesmaid to do. The bride is usually particular about the music in her ceremony, for example. She would want a favourite song, something that is meaningful to her. Why would she ask Shawna-Marie to arrange it? It looks like Elizabeth Patterson does not care what goes into her wedding, so long as she can get someone else to do it for her.
This brings into focus the criticisms that have been made of the prior big weddings in this strip. Mike and Deanna’s second fake wedding and Shawna-Marie Verano’s wedding both had the domineering mother-of-the-bride who wanted to control everything and make all the decisions, much to the chagrin of the bride. I had always thought the underlying message of this was, “Have a small wedding, where the bride gets to pick what she wants.” I never would have suspected that the real underlying message is, “Have a big wedding, and delegate people who get to pick what they want.” This egalitarian distribution of wedding planning choices makes it seem like Elizabeth is going for socialist wedding planning. This is not enough to satisfy Elly, who apparently believes that a wedding with no planning is the best of all. However, the other possibility is that we are seeing another mark of Elizabeth losing her independence. Not only does Elizabeth not pick anything for her wedding, but she does not get the luxury of fighting for the right to pick, as Deanna did with her mother.
As for Deanna’s mom, Mira Sobinski, I would have to do some significant reading between the lines to move her from her prior position as the worst wedding person ever to the position of her doing the flower girl dresses with a fabric she chooses. The woman couldn’t even do a Christmas Dinner grace without the Pattersons thinking awful thoughts about her. There has not been a positive strip about Mira Sobinski since Deanna came back from Honduras in 1999. Of course, Mira’s desire to change the wedding colour scheme is supposed to show, once again, that she is evil. But how do you get her from evil to the point where she is doing the flower girl dresses in the first place? Deanna is the better choice, since she has been shown to be seamstress of the year with Liz’s dress. Or a professional dressmaker? Or Elly, who used to sew? Or Melville Kelpfroth? Or a bum off the street? Anyone else to associate with a wedding other than Mira, would be a better choice. What has happened is that Lynn Johnston remembered that 90% of the Mike and Deanna wedding material back in 2001 had to do with Mira, and she simply cannot stop herself from recycling a storyline, even if it makes absolutely no sense.
The Caine women. If they haven’t shown up by now, they don’t exist. We will be lucky to see Anthony’s mom in the background during the wedding. Just consider Anthony to be an orphan boy, adopted by Gordon Mayes, the local rich man. Think Heathcliff and Wuthering Heights.
As for me, tomorrow I begin my annual trip to Dallas, Texas for my wife’s Homemade Gourmet convention and for my kids to visit relatives on my wife’s side of the house. This means that the Howard Bunt Blog will be sporadic for the next week, only occurring when I can find a computer and get enough time to write something.
For aprilp_katje on April’s Real Blog, it turns out to be an incredibly opportune time for you to have “erased” Michael Patterson. That is as good an explanation as any for his lack of posts, and I will put Jeremy Jones out of town also. Good luck this week. I am sorry to have to be gone while Lynn Johnston is doing new wedding material. I will post something when and if I can.
posted by howard at 11:42 PM
19 Comments:
Not only is it odd that Liz has farmed out major tasks to friends, she appears bored as hell by the entire thing.
Teal? Nobody's had teal as a color since the 1980s. And asking Mira to sew flower girl dresses is a major imposition, given that she isn't related to any of the people involved in the wedding.
Nice to have confirmation that Hypocrite Elly is paying for this large, ridiculous wedding.
Interesting to note that none of the things on these lists are actually necessary in order for someone to get married. If Elly finds it all so onerous, then why didn't she refuse to pay for such a big wedding? I will never understand why people believe a wedding necessarily requires a lot of nonsense and a big outlay of cash.
To be fair, though, it is sort of unsurprising to me that the Caines are not involved. In the weddings I was involved in, the groom's family did absolutely nothing except for the rehearsal dinner. Yet the bride's friends were absolutely enlisted to handle many tasks that were really, in the end, too much to ask a friend to do. I think this often happens because 1) many brides do not like their future mothers-in-law (or any of their in-laws), and 2) the bride's family is trying to hide what they are spending on the wedding from the groom's family.
howard,
Not only is all this flummery wasteful and stupid, it's inappropriate. My niece Carrie wondered why Elly and the gang thought they could get away with having a great big party to celebrate destroying Therese's marriage, not to mention screwing over Paul. Kool-Aid Nation may gush and coo over the star-crossed lovers; decent people worry about those who got hurt along the way. That being said, enjoy the time off; you're probably not going to miss much.
Heh, I'm glad my Michael erasure was well timed. Hope you and your crew have a great trip, howtheduck.
I'm just as perplexed as anyone else why the heck Mira's been pressed into service. For her son-in-law's sister's wedding? What?
I have a guess as to Mira's appearance. Anthony must be seen as all that is wonderful in the world. If Anthony had a parent who was the least bit unlikeable, it would reflect badly on The Chosen One. Therefore, Mira, the villain of the Mike/Deanna wedding, has to be brought in. It makes absolutely no sense realistically, only plot contrivance-wise.
Also, as Lynne always wants to have things both ways (natch, all 500 conflicting ways) Anthony's parents will show up like a week before the wedding and Anthony, Elizabeth, John Ellie and Mr & Mrs (unless, as may well happen, one is dead) Caine goes out to dinner together. This often happens in weddings where one spouse is from a different province, though in this case, it will be a trip across town to meet the Royal Pattersons.
You know, I always wondered why we never seen Anthony's family. Is he an orphan? Wouldn't his mom step in with Francie?
This is going to haunt me the rest of the day.
Here's my blog about them:
http://www.redroom.com/blog/jenniferkate/dont-do-it-elizabeth-for-love-god-dont-marry-grananthony
Hey, Jennifer, I saw you blog entry via the Yahoo group. Great rant! I wish LJ would listen. :)
(Tiny nitpick: You referred to Thérèse as Françoise a couple of times in one paragraph.)
I guess Howard can't get to a computer, but I wanted to say something that's been bugging me lately. I am tired of people in bad marriages congratulating themselves for staying married for 25, 30, 40, 50, even 65 years. It is extremely easy to stay in a bad marriage and feel sorry for yourself whilst doing nothing to fix the situation (and often engaging in nasty behavior towards one's spouse). I don't think these folks should get any congratulations at all.
Simply staying married isn't an accomplishment. Staying married and working hard to make your marriage a good one is commendable, but I see that very rarely in long-term marriages. Just my two cents.
So true, qnjones. We see John and Elly alternate between being nasty to one another and ignoring one another altogether, and yet they pat themselves on the back, seemingly for their inertia. We really don't see either of these two doing the "right things."
Sadly, seeing it in the strip between John and Elly is just the straw that broke my back. My parents do this. My grandparents did it (the ones who were married 65 years). Seems like, the worse the marriage, the more self-congratulatory the spouses are about its longevity. I know some happily married people IRL who have been together for many years. I never hear it from them. Just from the miserable types.
Almost as though they're expecting a medal for putting up with one another. :(
qnjones,
Seems like, the worse the marriage, the more self-congratulatory the spouses are about its longevity. I know some happily married people IRL who have been together for many years. I never hear it from them. Just from the miserable types.
You can correct me if I am wrong about this, but I could swear that the last time we got into the "happily married" topic, you said you had some kind of standard for what you considered to be a happy marriage and that you did not know anyone who met that standard. As for me, my church has a part in the church service where people get to announce happy occasions and invariably there will be some old couple announcing their 40th, 50th, or longer anniversary and looking happy as can be, holding hands or hugging. They seem to be happy to me, but then again they announced it publicly, so that does make them suspect.
As for John and Elly, John has revealed something that he has learned over the years, and that is when Elly comes after him for something he has said, he should apologize immediately. I have learned this lesson from many a volatile personality I have run into while dating or at work. It's a lot easier to say "I'm sorry" to someone who likes to fight, than to get into it with them. If saying, "I'm sorry" gets Elly to calm down, instead of shrieking, so you can talk with her rationally, then that's a good trick. After all, it is rare when you hear a Patterson say, "I'm sorry" for anything. If I were married to Elly, that would definitely be one of my techniques for working out problems. And to be honest, if John is the one who manages to get Elly calmed down to work out an issue, then he has learned something over those 30 years. The John of 1979 almost never did this.
You have a good memory, Howard. You're right that I don't personally know anybody who is in a very long-term marriage I would call "happy" from my perspective. As in, I would not like to be in a marriage like that. But, I do recognize that some people can feel that they are happy in a marriage that I personally would not like. I know a very few couples who meet that definition and have been married over 25 years. Like, two couples. I know several couples who seem pretty happy who have been married for less than that time. But I have yet to see any marriage I personally would want to participate in. Hence the confusion.
I personally don't judge people as happy or not happy unless I know them well. My grandparents couldn't stand each other, but at their 60th anniversary party, they put on a big show of kissing in public, giving heart-shaped jewelry, etc. I'm sure other people in the restaurant thought they were adorable and very happily married, just like those couples at your church. But those of us who knew them knew that they were just faking it. I've run into lots of couples I only know superficially, and I haven't drawn conclusions about them one way or another.
Hope that makes sense.
Ugh. I guess this new strip means to show us that:
1) Anthony has no part in the wedding plans, and
2) Francie is being left out as well.
This shows that Liz is terribly out of touch with the way little girls think and feel. While she supposedly has the magic touch with delinquent boys, she apparently doesn't realize that most little girls find weddings to be unbearably exciting, and love to be included.
It's interesting that they're not even talking about the wedding in their excluded state, but I'm guessing that'll come tomorrow. Anthony will probably be filling Francie in about things she should already know about first-hand. Because when you marry someone who is the parent of a small child, every idiot knows, you should include the kid in the wedding plans. Not treat them like outsiders.
Since Liz is present (at least in the first panel), maybe they'll do some wedding talk tomorrow? (Or maybe I'm overly optimistic. ;) )
Whoa! I completely missed seeing Liz there! Wow.
The figures in the first panel ARE teeny-tiny. Lynn should have distributed magnifying glasses to go alone with today's strip. ;)
I think it was also because the sequence of Anthony spinning with Francie is what draws the eye first. I didn't really look carefully at the first panel.
I wonder if Liz's answer to "what are you going to freak out about next?" is going to be, "Oh yeah, we never told Francie"--?
qnjones,
My immediate reaction in seeing this strip is that Francie has sensory integration problems. My boy had them and you could not swing him enough. I could swing him around and spin him on swings and put him on those park spinners, and he never got dizzy. In fact, he loved them because, due to his condition, his body craved the stimulation. I can tell you that if you swing a normal kid like Anthony is swinging Francie, she will get dizzy along with Anthony and you have to be really careful the kid doesn't fall on their face when you stop. With my son, that was never a problem.
It would be just like Liz and Anthony not to realize it if Francie indeed did have developmental problems.
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