Nagging as Sign of Acceptance
Is nagging a sign of acceptance? My inclination is think nagging is more a sign of kids trying to get something using a tool that has been successful for them with adults in the past. My 2 step-nieces in Dallas applied nagging to me when I took them and my kids on outings this week. I was the only adult about with money, and so I was the target of the nagging.
The oddest part for me, with respect to Elizabeth Patterson in today's For Better or For Worse, is that after she has been the recipient of this behaviour with Francie, she is so desperate for acceptance, she is willing to take nagging as a sign of it. The question left is whether or not Elizabeth succumbed to the nagging. We don't see her do it, but we do see little Francie is done with her nagging and looking somewhat satisfied as she stares into the Green Sack. The implication is that Liz was so flattered by the nagging/acceptance she gave in, for no other reason than to encourage a continuation of that acceptance. Unfortunately what we do not see is Liz doing the good parent thing of squelching the nagging with a good natured threat, i.e. "Cut out the nagging, or this something that I told I would do for you, is not going to get done." As it is in most cases of Liz and parenting, we don't see how she finally resolved the problem, aside from excitedly telling Anthony she was nagged, and that look on Francie's face. It is an unsatisfactory ending for good parenting; but it is a good strip for showing character flaws with Liz.
The oddest part for me, with respect to Elizabeth Patterson in today's For Better or For Worse, is that after she has been the recipient of this behaviour with Francie, she is so desperate for acceptance, she is willing to take nagging as a sign of it. The question left is whether or not Elizabeth succumbed to the nagging. We don't see her do it, but we do see little Francie is done with her nagging and looking somewhat satisfied as she stares into the Green Sack. The implication is that Liz was so flattered by the nagging/acceptance she gave in, for no other reason than to encourage a continuation of that acceptance. Unfortunately what we do not see is Liz doing the good parent thing of squelching the nagging with a good natured threat, i.e. "Cut out the nagging, or this something that I told I would do for you, is not going to get done." As it is in most cases of Liz and parenting, we don't see how she finally resolved the problem, aside from excitedly telling Anthony she was nagged, and that look on Francie's face. It is an unsatisfactory ending for good parenting; but it is a good strip for showing character flaws with Liz.
posted by howard at 9:24 PM
13 Comments:
I'm guessing Francie got something she wanted, because usually kids I see doing this in the store, who don't get their object, throw a tantrum.
I'm not sure nagging is a sign of acceptance. I have seen people, children and adults, nag people they do not like, if they think it will get them something they want. IMO, Francie just picked the target she thought was most likely to be weak and give in.
I find yesterday's nonsequitur strip really annoying, BTW.
Liz said “no” three times, so her message is clear. I think Francie’s body language in the last panel shows that the message was received. I give this round to Liz!
Seems to me that yesterday's nonsequitur strip was better than most of the @#$% we’ve seen lately…
Anon, NYC
howard,
It seems clear that we're supposed to assume that Liz did whatever Lynn thinks the right thing is without evidence to back it up. This is nothing like the old days when at least we saw how Elly (mis)handled
a given crisis. Of course, that was back before Lynn's talent dried up. This is, of course, another reason why the Hybrid fails; it shows us how poorly Lynn is writing the strip nowadays.
I could see how Liz misinterprets Francoise's nagging as acceptence since after all she was brought up by a nagging harpy of a mother. To her nagging has become a form of showing someone how much they "care."
I also find it interesting that Liz never addresses Francoise by name today. Maybe it's just me but when my Dad would sternly call my name out I knew he meant business and I stopped whatever it was that I was doing. Can't say I have so much of a problem with Liz referring to Fracoise as "your daughter" in the last panel because it is how my mom's boyfriend(s) would refer to my sister an I when we visited her because I knew they weren't going to be around long and in my mind no one would ever replace our dad. However, since Liz is planning on be around long term it might be something she refrain from saying especially in front of Francoise.
Ruth,
However, since Liz is planning on be around long term it might be something she refrain from saying especially in front of Francoise.
That's right. She should call Françoise by name at this stage. Not that that would happen without someone telling her to do exactly that. Liz doesn't think of things like that because she's too into what's happening with her.
qnjones
I'm not sure nagging is a sign of acceptance. I have seen people, children and adults, nag people they do not like, if they think it will get them something they want. IMO, Francie just picked the target she thought was most likely to be weak and give in.
I know that with some kids, they become very shy around adults they do not know very well. For example, my daughter will barely talk to any adults she does not know, and will only come out with adults she knows well. I could go with this portrayal, if Françoise had been shown to be shy around Liz in prior appearances. I think what Lynn was going for is the kids who behave really well with strangers, but misbehave with their parents. So, Liz rejoices that misbehavioiur = acceptance as a parent. The theory doesn't work for kids who misbehave for everyone, or for Françoise, whose behaviour around Anthony has been pretty good (except for a few moments where she didn't want Liz around.) My hope is that if the theme is "Françoise accepts Elizabeth as her mother", then we will finally headed toward the long-awaited Thérèse smackdown, where Françoise prefers Liz to Thérèse.
Anon, NYC
Liz said “no” three times, so her message is clear. I think Francie’s body language in the last panel shows that the message was received. I give this round to Liz!
We do see 3 times and so that is one possible interpretation. Maybe that would be enough for Françoise. It would have been nice to see that resolution without the presence of Anthony, so the message would be clearer to the readers that Françoise stopped for Liz and not just because Anthony arrived.
dreadedcandiru2
It seems clear that we're supposed to assume that Liz did whatever Lynn thinks the right thing is without evidence to back it up. This is nothing like the old days when at least we saw how Elly (mis)handled a given crisis.
True enough. The main point of the old strips seems to have been showing the kid's awful behaviour and the exasperated look on Elly's face when it happens. If this were an old strip, the final panel would not have Anthony in it, but would stop with the bizarre expression on Elizabeth's face in the penultimate panel.
Ruth
I could see how Liz misinterprets Francoise's nagging as acceptence since after all she was brought up by a nagging harpy of a mother. To her nagging has become a form of showing someone how much they "care."
That's a good point. Elly did quite a bit of hugging in the early strips in addition to her shrieking and nagging, but in these days of strips with no affection, I suppose nagging is all that's left.
howard
If this were an old strip, the final panel would not have Anthony in it, but would stop with the bizarre expression on Elizabeth's face in the penultimate panel.
That's true. A child being a child was joke enough back then. Add in a thought-bubble about the evils of sugar and you'd have Classic Foob.
For Anon NYC:
Haven't you ever seen the interchange between moms and kids in a store where Mom says NO a million times...and then caves when the kid asks for the 1,000,001th time? I sure have.
I agree with whoever said that Lynn wants us to admire Liz and not worry about what the actual result was. This is because I don't think Lynn knows how to show good parenting in action. She has no idea how to write a situation where Liz stands her ground, but the kid doesn't throw a fit. So she skipped that step.
One thing I do know: it is obvious why Anthony is marrying Liz. They are not married, or living together, but he already has her minding the child and doing the grocery shopping for him! I am tired of Lynn's relentless message that kids and housework are a woman's job, and that a woman should always be thrilled to have the lion's share of those tasks thrust upon them--even unfairly.
qnjones,
I agree with whoever said that Lynn wants us to admire Liz and not worry about what the actual result was. This is because I don't think Lynn knows how to show good parenting in action. She has no idea how to write a situation where Liz stands her ground, but the kid doesn't throw a fit.
I know we're supposed to think Liz and Elly are great parents while ignoring the evidence to the contrary. That's why I posted that comment upthread.
In my mind, Françoise in the last panel is gazing with satisfaction at the toy Liz bought for her. ;)
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