Iris Finally Gets Her Wish
I remember when the monthly letters came out on the For Better or For Worse website and it was always interesting to read Grandpa’s letter, especially after his stroke. Grandpa Jim rarely appeared in the strip, and so his and Iris’ monthly letters were often stories completely unrelated to anything going on in the strip. After the stroke, there was a significant difference between the attention of the Pattersons to Grandpa Jim and Iris in the letters versus what was displayed in the strip. I suppose this was to be the part where we “read between the lines” as Lynn Johnston has requested that her readers do, but the main difficulty with the description in the monthly letters and the strip was the discrepancies which prevented the monthly letters from being accepted as a part of the For Better or For Worse canon. For example:
Grandpa's Letter, February 2007
John has been wonderful - he's made some modifications to our apartment that make it easier and faster for Jim to get around. With Michael's help, he put railings around the bedroom and the hall leading to the bathroom. Jim uses his walker, but extra available support is nice. We have grips around the facilities and a special seat in the bathtub that can be lowered. This gadget is new and he loves it.
Then in the strip, when we got to see the bedroom and the hall leading to the bathroom, there were no railings in evidence. So, if you can’t accept that part of it, can you also accept monthly letter descriptions which have Elly visiting 2 or 3 times a week, when the strip shows her visiting once every 6 months? Not likely.
Today’s For Better or For Worse is interesting, because there was a running theme in the final monthly letters before they were halted, that had Iris desperate to visit her daughter, the one who lived in Arizona. In fact, the story about Elly staying first appeared in this monthly letter.
Grandpa's Letter, June 2007
Elly has offered to stay here with Jim for a few days running if I want to go visit my daughter, Maggie. I'm going to take her up on that. Jim might be upset. He likes me to take care of his personal needs, but the nurses will help him through his day, and John can help with baths. I think he'll this arrangement. He has to, because. honestly, I really need the time away. I can't wait to see Maggie! Maybe we'll go golfing together.
The way I used to tell if there was any truth to a monthly letter was either (a) it appeared in the strip or (b) the next month’s monthly letter talked about the trip. In the case of July, 2007, there was no mention of a trip to visit Maggie in Arizona, so we had to presume it did not happen even within the internal logic of the letters. Today’s strip mentions Iris’ son as the recipient of Iris’ trip. He was last visited by Iris in this letter.
Iris's Letter, December 2005
Happy holidays, everyone! I know we're early, but all the lights and trees are up and I'm getting into the spirit. I'll be leaving for Calgary in a few days to visit my son Jordan, his wife Anna and my grandkids, Aydan and Emma. I haven't been on a jaunt by myself in ages, and Jim can well get along without me for two weeks.
You will notice the letter is pre-stroke. And the letter the next month talked about the trip, so I accepted it as canon. That was the last time Iris saw her son.
As for today’s strip, Elly talks down to Jim and makes him mad. Iris then makes a comment to Elly about Jim’s temper, once again as if Jim were not there for the 3rd strip in a row. It’s a good thing that this strip doesn’t have a final thought balloon for Jim. If it did, it would probably be something like, “Don’t talk down to me, you *&^%*&^%”
Grandpa's Letter, February 2007
John has been wonderful - he's made some modifications to our apartment that make it easier and faster for Jim to get around. With Michael's help, he put railings around the bedroom and the hall leading to the bathroom. Jim uses his walker, but extra available support is nice. We have grips around the facilities and a special seat in the bathtub that can be lowered. This gadget is new and he loves it.
Then in the strip, when we got to see the bedroom and the hall leading to the bathroom, there were no railings in evidence. So, if you can’t accept that part of it, can you also accept monthly letter descriptions which have Elly visiting 2 or 3 times a week, when the strip shows her visiting once every 6 months? Not likely.
Today’s For Better or For Worse is interesting, because there was a running theme in the final monthly letters before they were halted, that had Iris desperate to visit her daughter, the one who lived in Arizona. In fact, the story about Elly staying first appeared in this monthly letter.
Grandpa's Letter, June 2007
Elly has offered to stay here with Jim for a few days running if I want to go visit my daughter, Maggie. I'm going to take her up on that. Jim might be upset. He likes me to take care of his personal needs, but the nurses will help him through his day, and John can help with baths. I think he'll this arrangement. He has to, because. honestly, I really need the time away. I can't wait to see Maggie! Maybe we'll go golfing together.
The way I used to tell if there was any truth to a monthly letter was either (a) it appeared in the strip or (b) the next month’s monthly letter talked about the trip. In the case of July, 2007, there was no mention of a trip to visit Maggie in Arizona, so we had to presume it did not happen even within the internal logic of the letters. Today’s strip mentions Iris’ son as the recipient of Iris’ trip. He was last visited by Iris in this letter.
Iris's Letter, December 2005
Happy holidays, everyone! I know we're early, but all the lights and trees are up and I'm getting into the spirit. I'll be leaving for Calgary in a few days to visit my son Jordan, his wife Anna and my grandkids, Aydan and Emma. I haven't been on a jaunt by myself in ages, and Jim can well get along without me for two weeks.
You will notice the letter is pre-stroke. And the letter the next month talked about the trip, so I accepted it as canon. That was the last time Iris saw her son.
As for today’s strip, Elly talks down to Jim and makes him mad. Iris then makes a comment to Elly about Jim’s temper, once again as if Jim were not there for the 3rd strip in a row. It’s a good thing that this strip doesn’t have a final thought balloon for Jim. If it did, it would probably be something like, “Don’t talk down to me, you *&^%*&^%”
posted by howard at 9:28 PM
14 Comments:
howard,
As for today’s strip, Elly talks down to Jim and makes him mad. Iris then makes a comment to Elly about Jim’s temper, once again as if Jim were not there for the 3rd strip in a row.
That sort of nonsense has been a constant in the old sourball's life for quite a while. If memory serves, Iris used to talk down to him, ignore what he wanted and talk like he wasn't there before the stroke. The only difference is that his vocabulary is far more limited than it used to be.
dreadedcandiru2,
The only difference is that his vocabulary is far more limited than it used to be.
True, and that Elly now does the same thing.
howard,
This makes our calls for Liz to stop in and visit him seem sort of foolish in retrospect. After all, it's very much likely she'd follow Iris's lead just like Elly haas.
In the case of July, 2007, there was no mention of a trip to visit Maggie in Arizona, so we had to presume it did not happen even within the internal logic of the letters.
Actually, you had to go a bit further in the letters to find the Maggie visit.
August 2007:
Last month I enjoyed a weeklong visit with my daughter, Maggie and her husband. Jim stayed at a local senior's home - they provided temporary care while I was away. I was worried that he would be miserable, or not understand why he was going there. I shouldn't have worried, though - the staff was terrific, and Jim made new friends with a couple of other patients. His new friends, Muriel and Albert, have had strokes themselves although they didn't lose their ability to speak. They apparently had no trouble understanding Jim, so he had some people to spend time with and probably a nice vacation from married life! We all need to get away from time to time, and I was able to enjoy a nice stay at Maggie's place. My girl is an excellent cook - I must have gained five pounds! She sent me home with a cooler full of frozen lasagnas and all sorts of other dishes, which is wonderful. We'll be eating well for a long time to come!
dreadedcandiru2,
This makes our calls for Liz to stop in and visit him seem sort of foolish in retrospect. After all, it's very much likely she'd follow Iris's lead just like Elly has.
I am looking forward to the Grandpa Jim-Liz interaction during the wedding to if the two of them do anything other than invoke the ghost of Grandma Marian. Maybe we can see some of Liz talking down to Grandpa Jim to show she has inherited the mantle of her mother.
aprilp_katje,
Ah, the continuity goddess has caught me again. However, your reference to the August, 2007 letter does show the important bit that Elly did not live up to her promise to help out Iris until today’s strip. In retrospect, it is a little strange that Iris put Jim in a local senior’s home temporarily since (a) I thought they already lived in a senior’s home and (b) she had already pointed out that Elly would be doing that task. On the other hand, I loved these old letters which fly in the face of the “poor, poor, pitiful me” Iris shown in the comic strip. I expect the letter writer couldn't stand Iris' whining and servitude in the strip any more than the readers can.
Well, I would like to see Liz visit "plot-device-dying-Jim" so that we could see if she can still read his mind. Apparently, that was a temporary ability that she had right after she got back from Mtig, which she later lost along with the rest of her brain.
Again, major backfire from Lynn Johnston. She wants to establish that Elly visits Jim; her actions today seem to indicate that she has conversed with him very little, since Iris is still telling Elly about Jim's abilities or lack of.
debjyn,
She wants to establish that Elly visits Jim; her actions today seem to indicate that she has conversed with him very little, since Iris is still telling Elly about Jim's abilities or lack of.
Well, you could argue that Iris would tell Elly this stuff about Jim even if Elly visited everyday, since Iris has been turned into the Jim-interpretation machine (JIM). However, more likely we are seeing Lynn Johnston remind the readers Grandpa Jim has aphasia via Iris’ explanation to Elly that the sequence of 3 loud “Yes”s was an indication that Grandpa Jim was angry and not just very affirmative. We have to get the aphasia reminder out of the way, because you know that rest of the week is going to be filled with aphasia jokes.
I actually think that Iris's kids (other than the one she sees often because she's local) kind of suck. Why don't they visit their mother? I know that once my grandparents were in their 80s, we had to start visiting them in their home only because of their ill health. It is very hard for many 80-somethings to travel. Also, given her age, Iris's grandchildren cannot be that young, meaning they are either not an obstacle to travel, or could stay home alone.
I know that if my mother were wasting her last remaining healthy years working as a slave to take care of a (relatively) new husband while the rich family of said husband did almost nothing, I would want to visit and check out the situation, at the very least. So this makes me wonder: 1) Was Iris a crappy mother or something?, or 2) Are her kids just jerks?
IMHO, since Elly lost interest in the bookstore and in mothering April a long time ago, Elly should have been staying over 3-4 times a year for the last few years so Iris could take these kinds of breaks. Not once every 2-3 years.
Also, IIRC, before the stroke, Iris did not travel to see her children that much. I remember one such trip, and Iris went alone. It seems that Jim had zero interest in Iris's children, and once they were married, this lack of interest seems to have acted to keep Iris from seeing them often. You know, because of her foolish excessive devotion to that old lech.
It makes me wonder what Jim has done to earn that devotion. It also makes me wonder how awful Iris's first husband might have been, that she thinks Jim is so great.
qnjones,
It makes me wonder what Jim has done to earn that devotion. It also makes me wonder how awful Iris's first husband might have been, that she thinks Jim is so great.
For Crankshaft-Lite Jim to be an improvement tells me her first husband might have been able to run for Town Son-of-a-bitch unopposed.
qnjones,
I actually think that Iris's kids (other than the one she sees often because she's local) kind of suck. Why don't they visit their mother?
Iris’ Friends and Influences page gives some clues:
Jordan
Jordan is Iris' son by her first marriage. Jordan is on his second marriage (to a much younger woman), and has custody of his two children from his first marriage - Aydan and Emma, both in their teens. Jordan, his wife Anna, and his kids now live in Calgary where they run a horse ranch.
None of Iris’ monthly letters talk about Jordan visiting Iris. Iris visits them by herself. I could infer that if you run a horse ranch, you don’t make enough money to do a lot of traveling. My daughter takes horseback riding lessons and as near as I can tell, there is not a lot of cash flow. Most of your money is tied up in land and horses.
From my own personal experience traveling with my 2 kids, Jordan would be doing airfare X 4 adult rates (not cheap) to visit Iris, they would have to get a hotel room and there is little in Milborough that would keep the teenagers occupied. They would trot the kids in, where a visit with Iris would consist of helping her with Grandpa Jim. It would not be an attractive trip.
With a remarriage, Jordan’s kids would have grandparents from Jordan’s first wife and from his second wife, either of which may be a more attractive prospect for a trip for the purposes of distance and activities. The other aspect is “much younger woman” Anna, mentioned only once in the Iris’ monthly letters. There, the concentration is on what kind of Christmas presents to give to her teenaged grandkids, with Jordan providing suggestions. The implication is that Iris and Anna have issues, especially given Lynn Johnston’s strong beliefs about fathers getting custody of their kids, as demonstrated by Anthony Caine.
Maggie
Maggie is Iris' daughter. She and her husband Jesse live in Arizona where Jesse is a golf pro. They have a daughter named Sophia who is in her twenties. Visits with Jordan and Maggie and their families are few, but phone calls are frequent!
Unlike Jordan, Maggie has actually come to visit Iris. It was mentioned in Grandpa's Letter, August 2006, with a nice story about Maggie visiting with her single friend Val. There is an implication from the monthly letters that Iris has issues with Maggie’s husband, Jesse. In all her letters from 2004 on, she mentions Jesse by name only once and never discusses any activities she does with Jesse when she visits them, only Maggie. Take that with the only visit coming with Maggie bringing along Maggie’s friend Val, then the answer for lack of visits is Jesse.
Sarah Reid-McCormack
Sarah Reid-McCormack is Iris' and George's youngest child. Sarah stayed home until she finished school and established herself as a Geriatric Nurse. It was during this time that Iris and Sarah's relationship evolved from mother and daughter to close friends. Sarah eventually met a doctor, Adam McCormack, with whom she wed and moved to Barrie (they have decided not to have children due to their demanding schedules).
Number of times husband Adam is mentioned in Iris’ monthly letters: 2. Sarah is the one mentioned, who does all the visiting with Iris, even though we have never seen her in the strip. After Jim’s stroke though, Adam gets a few good lines from Iris, who compliments him for answering her questions about Jim’s stroke.
Conclusion: Iris doesn’t get along with the persons her kids married, or they don’t get along with her. Adam is the only spouse who gets a mention beyond saying what his name is, and that is only after he does something to help Iris.
So this makes me wonder: 1) Was Iris a crappy mother or something?, or 2) Are her kids just jerks?
There are some clues in Iris’ page with these lines:
They had three children. Two moved to Ontario and she did, too. She inherited lakeside property near Barrie and is particularly close to her daughter who lives there. George died of cancer in 1999. She had been alone since then, and then Jim happened!
Since Iris met, and married Jim, her life has purpose again. With her children grown and having families of their own, she never wanted to impose on them when she was lonely. Now she has someone to talk to each morning, someone to cook for (who enjoys her cooking immensely!), to watch movies with, someone to share her life. Iris knew it was rare to find love the first time, but to find it twice in a lifetime was miraculous.
The implication is that even before Jim, Iris was being ignored by her kids. It says she followed 2 kids to Ontario, although one lives in Barrie, Ontario and the others live in Arizona and Calgary, which are not in Ontario. Even though Iris is close to her daughter in Barrie, somehow she ends up in Milborough going to Legion Hall dances and living in a retirement center.
It seems that Jim had zero interest in Iris's children, and once they were married, this lack of interest seems to have acted to keep Iris from seeing them often.
True. With all the Sarah visits and the one Maggie visit in the monthly letters the only line involving Jim is this one:
Maggie took Jim and I out to various places, and we spent a lot of time playing board games, which she's always loved.
dreadedcandiru2
For Crankshaft-Lite Jim to be an improvement tells me her first husband might have been able to run for Town Son-of-a-bitch unopposed.
The strip says almost nothing about Iris’ first husband, George Reid. The only clue we get about their relationship is from these lines under Iris’ page:
George Reid, was a Navy man. She met him in Halifax and he stole her heart, marrying her before he left for Europe. She waited four years for him, not knowing if he'd return, and when he did, she faced a stranger whose ring she wore. They had to fall in love all over again, which wasn't easy.
Argh, poor punctuation and grammar in the quoted bits from the Foob site!
howtheduck, I noticed the same thing you did--Elly had failed to follow through on her promise to stay with Jim so that Iris could visit Maggie. So now we have the belated staying-with. Erg. It's sure to be painful.
aprilp_katje,
Erg. It's sure to be painful.
I know. I only hope it will be gloriously painful, in the way that only Lynn Johnston can do. With any luck, she will turn Elly into the worst daughter in Milborough, all while trying to make her seem like the best.
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