Monday, June 16, 2008

Deanna and Elizabeth bond…sort of

I made jokes about how Deanna and Elizabeth never seemed to talk to each other, because one is single and the other is not. I sort of thought the idea was an accidental interpretation, because my sisters and I got married at different times, and when I brought a girlfriend home to meet the family, it was my sisters who were the ones to really check the girlfriend out, to see if she would be acceptable to pal around with them at family gatherings.

In today’s For Better or For Worse, we see Deanna Patterson make an offer of friendship to Elizabeth Patterson, soon to be Caine; and it really hammered it in home. Deanna says, “Trust me, marriage is a real challenge, and I wanted to let you know that we’ll be there for you, Liz. Any time you guys need anything, let us know, OK?”

There it is. She is offering because Liz is getting married, and Deanna’s experience is that a married woman needs a support system. The idea is certainly true, but by offering it now, it is as if Deanna is saying that either Elizabeth did not need her help when she was single, or that Deanna did not truly believe that Elizabeth and Anthony would get together, so she didn’t offer her help before. I made a joke about it, but it appears to be Lynn Johnston’s actual interpretation.

I am intrigued by how a For Better or For Worse comic strip would be with Deanna and Elizabeth sharing parenting tips and play dates. Scenes of sisterly bonding not like the violent ones between Elizabeth and April, could make for some interesting dialogue. On the other hand, I look back at Elizabeth, post-university and I realize that we should have already had those moments. Elizabeth graduated 4 years ago and it is not until now that Lynn Johnston is writing a scene between Deanna and Elizabeth without Mike butting in and picking a fight with Liz. And mind you, this is even when they were all living in the same house from January to July last year. There were 7 months without one scene of Auntie Liz and her niece and nephew or sister-in-law.

There are so many missed opportunities in this strip. However, one of the ones Lynn Johnston did not miss today, was she drew Elizabeth and Deanna’s head shape and jaw line different in every single panel. Lynn may not be able to recognize good stories anymore, but she never seems to miss an opportunity to show us her consistently inconsistent drawing skills.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Married women often do not have any interest in befriending single women. I have personally encountered that quite often. Many married women just don't think single women have any place in their social circle. I've seen three reasons for that behavior:

1) They see single women as threatening and fear that they may seduce their husbands. Usually only crazy women think this way.

2) They see single women as being silly and frivolous because they do not have the serious concerns of marriage and children, and look down on them. This is pretty common, to varying degrees.

3) The potential friendship is an awkward fit. Most couples like to socialize with other couples, not single people. And single women often have more disposable income (if the single woman is a professional) and are more likely to splurge on things like clothing, makeup, spa visits, etc. I have seen many married women resent their single "friends" because all their money is going to pay school fees or for dance lessons, etc. This is so incredibly common that the married woman who never feels this way about single women is a rarity.

I think Dee falls into categories 2 and 3. She looks down on single women because that is what Pattersons do to single people. But more importantly, Dee just has never had any use for Liz. Until recently, Liz was a single professional woman who had a very silly, frivolous love life. She had no steady man friend to double date with. Then, when she got Anthony as a boyfriend, the two of them were so secretive and insular that they did not socialize as a couple. Liz has never offered herself up as a babysitter. Moreover, Liz does not ever openly flatter Mike and Dee with compliments.

Now, though, Dee sees that Liz will instantly become a married woman with kids. This opens up a world of possibilities. The two couples can babysit for each other, or they can go out for a couples dinner and bitch about their horrible children, horrible jobs, and miserable lives.

Furthermore, Dee probably has concerns about establishing herself as Queen Bee in the Patterson social pecking order. Mike and Dee have always luxuriated in the compliments that get dumped all over them. Dee is probably now worried that Liz will take away some of their spotlight, as she will have a child and a husband with ludicrously easy career success under his belt too.

12:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

qnjones:

Furthermore, Dee probably has concerns about establishing herself as Queen Bee in the Patterson social pecking order.

Those concerns are legitimate. It seems obvious that Elly will revert to her pattern of semi-consciously pitting Michael and Elizabeth against each other to maintain control over them. Given her need to dominate her surroundings, it's clear that she thinks if they get along, they'll conspire to thwart her plans. It's far better to capriciously play favorites and keep them as rivals.

2:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

howard:

There were 7 months without one scene of Auntie Liz and her niece and nephew or sister-in-law.

That does seem strange, at that. In real life, Liz would have developed some sort of working relationship with Deanna so as to set some ground rules on her interaction with Meredith and Robin. We could have had Liz take a shift at story time or some other useful thing to take her mind off the soap opera she'd turned her life into. Instead, she curled up into a ball and moaned about the son being in her eyes. So many missed opportunities, so little time.

7:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lynn really presents a depressing view of marriage in her strips. What a bitter, sad person.

I can only speak from personal experience throw nearly 10 years of marriage, but I still very much consider my wife my lover and never think of her as a roommate. What kind of logic is that?

7:42 AM  
Blogger howard said...

qnjones,

Married women often do not have any interest in befriending single women.

I agree with you completely in this area from my own personal experience, watching my wife slowly eliminate her single friends from her social circle after we got married. However, I have seen an exception with my wife and my sisters, and this is the difference I am trying point out. Not married women and single women generically, but ones related to each other. What is your experience in that arena?


Then, when she got Anthony as a boyfriend, the two of them were so secretive and insular that they did not socialize as a couple.

Good point. They barely even socialized between the two of them. In the Patterson backyard barbecue, Lynn Johnston drew Anthony and little Francie together and not socializing with any of the Pattersons.

Now, though, Dee sees that Liz will instantly become a married woman with kids. This opens up a world of possibilities. The two couples can babysit for each other, or they can go out for a couples dinner and bitch about their horrible children, horrible jobs, and miserable lives.

I wouldn't mind stories of this flavour. One of the things I think is missing from Connie and Elly's conversations like this, is that they are so one-sided toward Elly. You rarely get a glimpse into Connie's life. But with Deanna and Elizabeth, you would get to see both sides of the picture (assuming of course that Anthony and little Francie do not completely disappear after the wedding, as Connie's husband and children did).

Furthermore, Dee probably has concerns about establishing herself as Queen Bee in the Patterson social pecking order.

There is definitely an element of this in this week's strips. Deanna keeps telling Liz she doesn't know what she's getting into, and how she is willing to help her out in her time of need, and Liz keeps denying that's true. It is not a very friendly conversation with those undertones.

7:50 AM  
Blogger howard said...

dreadedcandiru2,

It seems obvious that Elly will revert to her pattern of semi-consciously pitting Michael and Elizabeth against each other to maintain control over them.

This would be fun to watch. I hope we get some of this during the wedding preparations.

7:50 AM  
Blogger howard said...

james,

I can only speak from personal experience throw nearly 10 years of marriage, but I still very much consider my wife my lover and never think of her as a roommate. What kind of logic is that?

The strip has made humourous light of Deanna refusing to be intimate with Michael on several occasions. If she does that often enough, it goes from being a joke to being the way things are. Apparently, that's what Deanna has done. I feel fairly confident that Mike probably feels the same way you do about his wife, the change to roommate is Deanna's opinion only. After all, at least as recently as last November, he was lamenting the onset of the flannel nightgown.

7:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with the observed lack of interactoin during the 7 1/2 month period. One way of looking at it is Liz possibly had trouble relating to her niece and nephew which is a little strange considering her chosen profession. Come to think of it aside from Jesse, who was ultimatly let down by Liz, have we ever seen Liz the teacher truley connct with her students? I've never really read the strips from when April was a baby/toddler but I'm curious now how Liz interacted with her then.
And the last panel punch line could also be taken as Liz is already looking for ways to dump off poor Francois. I personally am still completely unconvinced that Liz and Francois have come even remotely close to any kind of foundation to build a relationship on. Are we seriously expected to take that silly little tea party strip and think oh yes Liz certainly has gained Francois's trust now!
I mean if Lynn really expects us to buy into this whole "30 seconds a day" excuse maybe she should make better use of her time.

10:08 PM  

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