She Wants to Take Her Time
She wants to take her time. In today's For Better or For Worse, we see the reaction of Elizabeth Patterson again after April introduced the idea of Grandpa Jim dying before she ever gets married. Yesterday it was, “I don’t want to rush into anything. I want to take it one day at a time.” Today it is “I want to take my time.” What does this mean?
When I think back to my own engagement, this essentially started the clock. The next question invariably out of anyone’s mouth was “When is the wedding?” For me and my wife, the next step to answer that question had to do with figuring out what kind of wedding you want, and then to see if and when everything desired for that kind of wedding was available. There was also a consultation made with respect to the important players as to when they were available to come to the wedding. Then, if there are still more dates available after all that, then one is chosen.
If I compare my wedding directly to Elizabeth’s then when she says, “I want to take my time”, what she is really saying is, “I don’t want to start planning my wedding yet.” However, this is not really what she is saying. The line, “I really don’t want to rush into this marriage” is not the statement of someone who wants to delay the wedding ceremony planning, but a person who wants to delay the marriage itself. Without the usual reason for delaying a wedding ceremony like the future spouses are waiting until they graduate from something, or until someone returns from an overseas job; the reason for the delay can easily be interpreted as doubts about the relationship itself. You would think that if Elizabeth had those doubts, then she wouldn’t have accepted the ring in the first place, except that she seems to like to use it to deflect potential suitors. What Lynn fails to realize is that girls uncertain about a man to marry, don’t accept the ring. But Liz is supposed to be madly interested in Anthony Caine. Or was that mildly interested?
My impression is that Lynn Johnston is trying to make Liz appear sensible and wise by not jumping right into marriage. I think she realizes that relatively speaking, Anthony and Liz were not dating that long before they got engaged, and it will not be long before they are ultimately married. So, if she makes Liz hem and haw about it, then we will ignore that fact she is zipping into matrimonial bliss. Not including the dates Anthony and Liz had while she was dating Paul Wright, their first date was the Shawna-Marie Verano wedding which was June / July 2007. The engagement was March, 2008, 8 months later; and assuming an August, 2008 wedding, 5 months of wedding planning. Only Liz didn’t start planning in March. She hasn’t even started planning in June. We are going to see 2 months of wedding planning. In contrast, Anthony proposed to Thérèse in December, 2001 and married her in August, 2003 – a 20-month gap between engagement and marriage. However, they were both in school, so that made more sense.
When I think back to my own engagement, this essentially started the clock. The next question invariably out of anyone’s mouth was “When is the wedding?” For me and my wife, the next step to answer that question had to do with figuring out what kind of wedding you want, and then to see if and when everything desired for that kind of wedding was available. There was also a consultation made with respect to the important players as to when they were available to come to the wedding. Then, if there are still more dates available after all that, then one is chosen.
If I compare my wedding directly to Elizabeth’s then when she says, “I want to take my time”, what she is really saying is, “I don’t want to start planning my wedding yet.” However, this is not really what she is saying. The line, “I really don’t want to rush into this marriage” is not the statement of someone who wants to delay the wedding ceremony planning, but a person who wants to delay the marriage itself. Without the usual reason for delaying a wedding ceremony like the future spouses are waiting until they graduate from something, or until someone returns from an overseas job; the reason for the delay can easily be interpreted as doubts about the relationship itself. You would think that if Elizabeth had those doubts, then she wouldn’t have accepted the ring in the first place, except that she seems to like to use it to deflect potential suitors. What Lynn fails to realize is that girls uncertain about a man to marry, don’t accept the ring. But Liz is supposed to be madly interested in Anthony Caine. Or was that mildly interested?
My impression is that Lynn Johnston is trying to make Liz appear sensible and wise by not jumping right into marriage. I think she realizes that relatively speaking, Anthony and Liz were not dating that long before they got engaged, and it will not be long before they are ultimately married. So, if she makes Liz hem and haw about it, then we will ignore that fact she is zipping into matrimonial bliss. Not including the dates Anthony and Liz had while she was dating Paul Wright, their first date was the Shawna-Marie Verano wedding which was June / July 2007. The engagement was March, 2008, 8 months later; and assuming an August, 2008 wedding, 5 months of wedding planning. Only Liz didn’t start planning in March. She hasn’t even started planning in June. We are going to see 2 months of wedding planning. In contrast, Anthony proposed to Thérèse in December, 2001 and married her in August, 2003 – a 20-month gap between engagement and marriage. However, they were both in school, so that made more sense.
posted by howard at 11:09 PM
11 Comments:
howard:
My impression is that Lynn Johnston is trying to make Liz appear sensible and wise by not jumping right into marriage. I think she realizes that relatively speaking, Anthony and Liz were not dating that long before they got engaged, and it will not be long before they are ultimately married. So, if she makes Liz hem and haw about it, then we will ignore that fact she is zipping into matrimonial bliss.
Your impression is the most logical explanation for this "Take it slow" business I've seen so far. Where Lynn fails is that she can't or won't see that by having Liz do this, she makes her look like a waffling nitwit who dreads the man she supposedly wants to spend the rest of her life with.
You would think that if Elizabeth had those doubts, then she wouldn’t have accepted the ring in the first place
Exactly. The time for not rushing is before accepting the proposal. After getting engaged, most couples simply move onto logistics.
howard:
After getting engaged, most couples simply move onto logistics.
I agree that most couples do that but we all know that doesn't apply to the Foobs. We can look forward to a DIY wedding that magically coalesces because the Pattersons' friends want to show how grateful they are to have Elly and the rest of her hardy band of meltdown survivors in their lives.
This is especially awful when it is compared to Dee and Mike. The HUGE thing was for Dee to first admit that she loved Mike; then to agree to marry him, and then immediately the wedding plans started (--okay, after that, it went downhill, but--). Now THAT is the logical way things work! It is a HUGE step for couples to usually say the "L" word; from there, most things get easier as the committment grows.
Instead, we have the sort-of engagement (because they get along so well together); then Liz trying to convince herself that although she thought she had been in love three times before, this feeling she has for Anthony must be love; and now she is being dragged into really getting married. This is seriously screwed up; I can't believe Lynn actually thinks this is coming off right.
I always wondered why on earth Lynn actually had Paul get a transfer to Mtig, and then have Liz decide to move. I figured that was so he could then run into Susan; now I'm starting to wonder if that is just part of Liz's fear of committment. Once Paul made such a drastic declaration, Liz was outathere. Seems like she agreed to an engagement with Anthony with the realization that she could dangle him along forever, just like she did in high school and good old Anthony would be fine with that also.
dreadedcandiru2,
Where Lynn fails is that she can't or won't see that by having Liz do this, she makes her look like a waffling nitwit who dreads the man she supposedly wants to spend the rest of her life with.
True! You can’t have Liz go “YEEAAAAHH!” at her engagement and have the big talk with little Francie about it, and then go into “I’m going to take it slow.” Lynn may be trying to make some kind of point about some women's fixation on the wedding ceremony vs. the marriage. Back in the monthly letters days, when Liz was portrayed as thinking about marriage with Paul Wright, in order to make his betrayal more poignant, she said this:
Liz's Letter, January 2007
But - I'm not going into wedding mode. Some of my friends totally focused on gowns and gala events, maybe more than they focused on the seriousness of the ceremony. When I say "yes", it'll be because I know it's going to be a working, long-term partnership. The ceremony is secondary. Security and commitment come first!
This could be what Lynn is trying to show Liz doing with her “take one day at a time” philosophy. Of course, without actually saying that, then all we can do is guess why Lynn has Liz do that.
aprilp_katje,
The time for not rushing is before accepting the proposal. After getting engaged, most couples simply move onto logistics.
In this comic strip, it appears that the reason for engagement is to give yourself magic ring power to get rid of unwanted male suitors, and time not to rush is before the wedding ceremony.
debjyn,
I always wondered why on earth Lynn actually had Paul get a transfer to Mtig, and then have Liz decide to move.
There has been a theme of “man must come to Liz” that has run through most of her relationships. When Anthony and Liz went to different universities, her response to Anthony was that he could travel to visit her. With Warren and Liz, she expected him to be able to drop in to Mtigwaki any time he wanted, because of the helicopter. She never went to visit any of these guys. And of course with Anthony and Liz part II, Anthony had to be willing to destroy his marriage to come to Liz.
Seems like she agreed to an engagement with Anthony with the realization that she could dangle him along forever, just like she did in high school and good old Anthony would be fine with that also.
Very likely. After all, the man only proposed because of interference from Warren Blackwood.
I can't wait for the big, romantic climax to the wedding.
"Do you, Elizabeth Patterson, take this man, Anthony Caine, as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do you part?"
"I dunno. I don't want to rush into anything. I want to take my time."
howard:
There has been a theme of “man must come to Liz” that has run through most of her relationships. When Anthony and Liz went to different universities, her response to Anthony was that he could travel to visit her. With Warren and Liz, she expected him to be able to drop in to Mtigwaki any time he wanted, because of the helicopter. She never went to visit any of these guys. And of course with Anthony and Liz part II, Anthony had to be willing to destroy his marriage to come to Liz.
You know why, of course. If she travels up to see them, then she's just another girl driving up to see her boyfriend. She's not special at all if she does that. If they come to see her, on the other hand, then she gets to bask in the glory of having men do things for her. Simple as paper, she does stuff like that because she wants the attention she felt she never got as a child.
Diamond Joe
"I dunno. I don't want to rush into anything. I want to take my time."
That’s a pretty good one, but I think Lynn Johnston can make it even worse. She is on a roll for making this one of the most unromantic weddings ever seen in the comic strip page, perhaps even surpassing L’il Abner and Daisy Mae, the standard-bearer for unromantic weddings.
dreadedcandiru2,
You know why, of course. If she travels up to see them, then she's just another girl driving up to see her boyfriend. She's not special at all if she does that.
Well, old-style romance is filled with the stuff of princes who go on great quests: crossing deserts, mountains, and oceans for the sake of the love of one woman. Elizabeth seems to be very much of that sort. Her suitors’ great quest is to follow her wherever she goes and whenever she goes there, without complaint and without expecting any reciprocation.
Of course, the fun part with Liz is that even though she has that expectation of romantic devotion, Lynn Johnston has not had any problem with showing that Liz is so blah, she cannot inspire that level of devotion in anyone. They can all find someone better, including Anthony who, when faced with that dilemma, married Thérèse instead of traveling to visit Liz. Eric preferred Tina. Paul preferred Susan. Warren preferred his career. The difference between them and Anthony is that Anthony regretted his choice.
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