Saturday, May 17, 2008

Elly, Back When She Felt Guilt

The early years of For Better or For Worse had many strips where the parents and mainly Elly would question her abilities as a parent. It was the type of strip that connected very well with parents; because when a parent makes a mistake, there is a type of humility that goes with it that is a unique sensation, at least to me it is.

Some years ago, I was in a car accident where the car was totaled. I was the driver and my wife and kids were in the car. I made a stupid driving error which led to the accident. The guilt over this for me was overwhelming, especially when I was in the hospital, and my kids and my wife were being examined for injuries. I realized just how close I had come to killing or severely injuring my family and potentially wrecking them for the rest of their lives.

I think this is the essence of parental guilt. At the same time you are trying to teach your children the skills necessary to survive in the world when you are not there to protect them, there is also the fear that you will screw up and mess up your kid for the rest of their lives. Most examples are not as extreme as my car accident; but the moments when I was not a good parent pop up into my head from time-to-time as “don’t do that ever again, you stupid idiot” lessons for my life.

As for today’s For Better or For Worse, I enjoy seeing Elly with some self-recrimination over her behaviour. She seems much more human to me that the Elly of the last several years who never, ever admits a mistake and spends an inordinate amount of time congratulating herself on her parenting skills, the most recent examples are this year’s, self-congratulatory, conversations with Connie Poirier. I think 1979 Elly should have a chat with 2008 Elly and remind her of a few things. For example, sometimes you have can have beautiful children, who do well, in spite of your parenting.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

howard:

I, too, miss the Elly who admitted that she didn't have all the answers. It seems to me that her not getting called to account for her failure to secure the gate to the Ravine of Death caused Elly to start to think that she was infallible. Watching everyone in sight buy her guff about how Farley's death was indirectly caused by April's failure to mind her Mommy made her believe that she could do no wrong and that all the remorse she showed earlier was her crying over nothing. This is why she now believes she has to own her children's horses.

3:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I see why readers who have followed the strip since the beginning may enjoy what Lynn gave us this morning, but I best most fans haven't been reading quite that long.

Today's strip is obnoxious unless you started reading when Liz and Michael were little kids. April was the little kid when I began. Since only yesterday did Liz finally say LOVE with respect to Anthony, I was expecting a Sunday strip that would bring Sunday-only readers up to date on this significant event. Of all the leaps back in time since the hybrid began, today's was the most awkward of all...The majority of the previous leaps are related to what had just happened in the present: Connie and Elly talking about motherhood in the present, then a series of strips about Elly as a young mother; John announces his retirement, then a series of strips about his dentistry career. I abhor the hybrid but could deal because of the continuity.

Are there any old strips where Elly and John talk about how they fell in love? That would have been a good one to jump back to this morning. - Anon in Roch

4:26 AM  
Blogger April Patterson said...

Anon in Roch, I recall coming across a strip where John talks about how nervous he was when he was about to propose to Elly. He ruins it in the last panel by talking about how if she'd said no, he'd have moved on to others (I forget the exact wording, but it was something like that).

When Lynn does flashback strips on a Sunday, she really doesn't have any kind of a lead-in as far as the daily strips go.

5:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

April Patterson:
When Lynn does flashback strips on a Sunday, she really doesn't have any kind of a lead-in as far as the daily strips go.

Yes, you're right. Today is still annoying, though. -Anon in Roch

5:58 AM  
Blogger howard said...

dreadedcandiru2

I, too, miss the Elly who admitted that she didn't have all the answers. It seems to me that her not getting called to account for her failure to secure the gate to the Ravine of Death caused Elly to start to think that she was infallible.

You could right about the Ravine of Death storyline. That is the earliest most significant failure of Elly’s I can recollect where she did not take the blame. There may have been some earlier ones, but the death of Farley had made it memorable. Moreover, because Elly did not take any blame, there are still readers today, who blame the character of April for causing Farley' death.

7:59 AM  
Blogger howard said...

Anon in Roch

Today's strip is obnoxious unless you started reading when Liz and Michael were little kids. April was the little kid when I began.

This is very true. Lynn Johnston has gotten into the habit of expecting her readers to recognize characters they haven’t seen in a long time, and that includes the way they looked in their first years in the strip. Just recently, she dropped in Dr. Ted McCaulay in the daily strips, a character who had only appeared in 2 strips in the last 5 years, without any fanfare about who he was.

Since only yesterday did Liz finally say LOVE with respect to Anthony, I was expecting a Sunday strip that would bring Sunday-only readers up to date on this significant event.

Sunday strip only readers would probably be surprised that Elizabeth and Anthony are engaged, much less actually love each other.

8:01 AM  
Blogger howard said...

aprilp_katje,

When Lynn does flashback strips on a Sunday, she really doesn't have any kind of a lead-in as far as the daily strips go.

The Sunday before the very first Sunday flashback, she had Elly with Mike and Elizabeth looking at photo albums, but that was about it. Certainly there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it anymore, except that I have noticed she often does flashback Sunday strips during weeks when she has new daily strips, and vice-versa.

8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

howard:

What bothers me the most about the non-stop negativity of these flashbacks is that, well, it wasn't always that bad. Even back in the Dot-Eyed Age, Elly had her calm, quiet moments. For some strange reason, Lynn wants to depict Elly and her family as having always been at each other's throats when that' just not the case.

11:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

howard:

Moreover, because Elly did not take any blame, there are still readers today, who blame the character of April for causing Farley' death.

That's something I've always had a problem understanding. It's sort of silly to blame a four-year-old for something like that so all the "April-killed-Farley" stuff doesn't sit well. As for her claim that Schulz said so, well, let's just say that to him, Elly herself could be a stupid little girl.

11:12 AM  
Blogger howard said...

dreadedcandiru2,

For some strange reason, Lynn wants to depict Elly and her family as having always been at each other's throats when that' just not the case.

I have been suspicious about the choice of flashbacks ever since Lynn did that interview just before the Sunday reprint with Elly dreaming about John cheating on her. In the interview, she practically said she chose that strip because it matched what was going on in her life. Ever since then, I have wondered if these strips were being chosen as a way for her to deal with the unpleasantness in her life.

As for her claim that Schulz said so, well, let's just say that to him, Elly herself could be a stupid little girl.

My impression was that Schulz was saying whatever he thought was necessary to keep Lynn from killing off Farley, an idea he disliked for a comic strip character.

1:17 PM  
Blogger April Patterson said...

Today is still annoying, though.

No argument there, Anon in Roch. :)

Sunday strip only readers would probably be surprised that Elizabeth and Anthony are engaged, much less actually love each other.

Except, perhaps, the Sunday-only readers who believed that the checklist date amounted to a Lizthony engagement, howtheduck.

That's something I've always had a problem understanding. It's sort of silly to blame a four-year-old for something like that so all the "April-killed-Farley" stuff doesn't sit well.

The "April killed Farley" people nauseate me, dreadedcandiru2.

1:22 PM  
Blogger howard said...

aprilp_katje,

Except, perhaps, the Sunday-only readers who believed that the checklist date amounted to a Lizthony engagement, howtheduck.

You’re right. Given the right interpretation, that strip could be taken as engagement and post-engagement sex. The Sunday-only reader would not be privy to the silly travails with getting the ring and the dress. And to be honest, if Liz shows up with the dress and ring and doesn’t say a word about it, the Sunday-only reader would be much better off.

2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Continuing form yesterday (I’ve been away)…

Many high school sweethearts part ways after graduation. Then, years later, they meet and fall in love. Like some of those heartwarming stories, the Anthony and Liz arc could have been magnificent.

But sadly, this strip lacks emotion and these two still don’t seem passionate about each other. Sure, Anthony finds her attractive and she finds him dependable. But they never have any passion. They never seem to be talking together about anything! They don’t share anything to make a lasting relationship. I have no doubt that if the dialog were written by some of the subscribers to this blog, there would be great chemistry between these two.

The message in yesterday’s strip is that Liz thought she was in love but those previous relationships were only illusions. However, we, the faithful readers, witnessed Liz reaching to the heavens and proclaiming: “If this [Paul] is love, I’m loving it!” Now we see a pensive Liz looking down at her ring and thinking that she is in love and she “doesn’t even have to think about it.”

Well, this story fails miserably because I do not understand this type of love. I swear that I am more emotionally invested in the apple pie on my kitchen table than Liz is in this relationship. And as soon as I hit "publish your comment" I'm going to the kitchen.

Anon NYC

Anon NYC

5:23 PM  
Blogger howard said...

Anon NYC

Many high school sweethearts part ways after graduation. Then, years later, they meet and fall in love. Like some of those heartwarming stories, the Anthony and Liz arc could have been magnificent.

And there is no reason it should not have been. Lynn Johnston has been writing and molding this story for over 10 years. That is enough time to tweak this story to perfection.

However, we, the faithful readers, witnessed Liz reaching to the heavens and proclaiming: “If this [Paul] is love, I’m loving it!” Now we see a pensive Liz looking down at her ring and thinking that she is in love and she “doesn’t even have to think about it.”

Liz was even more passionate with Eric Chamberlain back in university than she was with Paul Wright, and it was one of the things which got to the readers when she realized Eric cheated. If Anthony cheated on Liz, all I would be able to say is, “Well, Liz, you of all people should have known he had the heart of a cheater when you married him.”

I swear that I am more emotionally invested in the apple pie on my kitchen table than Liz is in this relationship.

Mmm. Apple pie. I think I may have to make a run to the grocery store now.

7:27 PM  

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