Bribery and Santa
When my boy was very young, he liked to take the books off his book shelf, look at the pictures, and then leave them on the floor. So, I decided, as a means of convincing him to put his books up, to tell if he didn’t put his books up, then I was going to throw the books on the floor away in the trash. The books were expensive, so my real plan was simply to remove the books where he couldn’t find them and then hope that their loss would make an impression on him that he needed to put his books up. Then I would restore the books as new gifts later on.
Naturally, this particular threat meant nothing to my son. In fact, when I gathered up the books on the floor to throw them away, he saw me gather them up, and picked up more books off his shelf in his arms, and proceeded to follow me out of his room to “help” me throw them away. When we got to the trash can, I put my books in there, plus the books he had been carrying. Then my son went back to the bookshelf to get more books. He was having a grand time, helping his daddy. He didn’t learn his lesson, but I did.
In today’s For Better or For Worse, Anthony Caine tries his version of trying to take something away in order to coerce his daughter to “let” him spend time with Elizabeth. Aside from the obvious problems of granting that his daughter has that authority over him and Elizabeth, there is also the problem of the way he has to threaten her with Santa Claus to get her acceptance.
Some people when they are single parents, use their children as a sort of litmus test as to whether their date is going to be a good potential spouse. When I was a single, young man; it was the “Woo the child and get the mom” philosophy. Anthony acts like this is the situation he is in, only he is trying to skew the final outcome, by threatening to take away Santa from Françoise. You would hope that eventually Françoise would like Elizabeth on her own merits, and not because dad had to bribe her all the time.
Naturally, this particular threat meant nothing to my son. In fact, when I gathered up the books on the floor to throw them away, he saw me gather them up, and picked up more books off his shelf in his arms, and proceeded to follow me out of his room to “help” me throw them away. When we got to the trash can, I put my books in there, plus the books he had been carrying. Then my son went back to the bookshelf to get more books. He was having a grand time, helping his daddy. He didn’t learn his lesson, but I did.
In today’s For Better or For Worse, Anthony Caine tries his version of trying to take something away in order to coerce his daughter to “let” him spend time with Elizabeth. Aside from the obvious problems of granting that his daughter has that authority over him and Elizabeth, there is also the problem of the way he has to threaten her with Santa Claus to get her acceptance.
Some people when they are single parents, use their children as a sort of litmus test as to whether their date is going to be a good potential spouse. When I was a single, young man; it was the “Woo the child and get the mom” philosophy. Anthony acts like this is the situation he is in, only he is trying to skew the final outcome, by threatening to take away Santa from Françoise. You would hope that eventually Françoise would like Elizabeth on her own merits, and not because dad had to bribe her all the time.
posted by howard at 12:24 AM
14 Comments:
This arc is like a big honking "What not to do" PSA for single parents.
Your story with the books and your son made me smile, because we went through something very similar with our son. The only difference was that my husband was boxing up the books and putting them away in storage. And just like your son, ours had great fun helping his dada load books into the box. ;)
If he wants Françoise to accept Elizabeth, to come to like her, using her as a threat is exactly THE wrong thing to be doing. Of course, Liz, having the senstivity and insight of a doorstop, isn't going to realize why the child is afraid of her. Due to Anthony's stupidity, lack of foresight and selfishness, we can foresee a future wherein Liz is constantly frustrated in her attempts to prove her goodwill to her disbelieving.stepdaughter.
Interesting story with the books. I did the same thing with toys that my kids left in the living room. As I was picking up toys (very slowly) my kids quickly put away as much as they could.
The kids were very upset to see me take their toys. I DID throw out a few things. They had too many toys anyway... so this was one way of down sizing and teaching them a lesson.
Anon NYC
aprilp_katje,
This arc is like a big honking "What not to do" PSA for single parents.
I agree.
What I find interesting is that when we went through a similar kind of arc with the hybrid reprint strips involving Michael and Elizabeth and the bad parenting on display there, it was easy to have a certain degree of forgiveness. After all, when she did those, Lynn Johnston was a young mother, living far away from her parents or anyone who would be able to set her straight on what to do in certain situations and all the evidence is that Rod Johnston was next-to-no help. There was that element of it in the stories, as if to say, “Here are mistakes I made and aren’t they funny?” In many respects that’s why those strips worked, because you could recognize the person making the same kinds of mistakes you made.
28 years later, when we get this display of parenting, which I fear really is Lynn Johnston trying to show us what a good parent Anthony Caine, it is harder to forgive. She has an office staff with quite a few young mothers in there, and surely they can’t be looking at these strips and thinking to themselves, “Oh, I would do the same thing.” When we have strips like these, it is when I really get the impression that Lynn invites no criticism whatsoever from her staff about what goes into the strip.
As a proof, the Coffee Talk comments, which are sometimes rigorously pro-Lynn, have been allowed in the last few days, to really take her to task for Anthony’s poor parenting, not only in allowing Françoise to run all over him, but for the bunk beds, and for the emotional blackmail that you pointed out today (Congrats for making it in, by the way.) I sometimes get the impression that Stephanie’s choices on what goes into the Coffee Talk are a means by which she (and possibly others) can vent.
DreadedCandiru2,
Due to Anthony's stupidity, lack of foresight and selfishness, we can foresee a future wherein Liz is constantly frustrated in her attempts to prove her goodwill to her disbelieving.stepdaughter.
It is a little odd that Anthony is saying, “Françoise if you don’t allow Liz to go with us, then you don’t get to see Santa.” After all, what Françoise has done at the house to distract Anthony from Liz, are not necessarily the things she would do in a public venue. In fact they are probably not, since most of her behaviour had to do with Anthony failing to go through her bedtime rituals with her. Kids react differently in their homes than they do in the public, where they feel less comfortable. If it were me, I would tell Françoise, Liz was coming with us to dinner, shopping and to see Santa tomorrow; and if she acts like she did tonight, then there would be no Santa. That would make me the bad guy, if she misbehaved. But, as you point out, if Françoise doesn’t get to see Santa due to her behaviour, she’s going to blame Liz, because of the way Anthony has set it up.
Anon NYC,
To be honest, when my kids got older, removing toys was very effective; though book removal has never proved to be the same case.
I have ranted about toys before, and the proliferation of them throughout society in order to guarantee good behaviour in children (like at hair cutters or doctor’s offices or fast food restaurants or selling popcorn for the Boy Scouts), so that my children get free toys on a regular basis. I have no problems getting rid of them, just to keep the clutter down.
As big a fool as Liz has been about this, she does not deserve what Anthony is doing to her. He'll pull any lowdown trick to have her around as long as it involves his being the martyr, the one being back to the wall. She wants stability and a child to love but since she's had a creep forced down her throat by parents who believe comforting lies, she'll get chaos and a pint-sized arch-enemy.
howtheduck, like you, I have the uneasy impression that Lynn is holding up Anthony's behavior as evidence of his being an exemplary parent. That's what makes the current arc so disturbing.
And like you, I wonder why she doesn't seek out feedback from her staff members who have young children. It's like she exists in a self-imposed bubble--then she feels baffled about her disconnect from today's parents of young children.
I become more fascinated by the day if this is Lynn's example of Anthony being a good parent.
Lynn stated that she was going to "explore" Anthony's character more (so that she could convince her readers he is great,funny,blah,blah)but the more she shows the more horrible he looks. Also, litteraly, he is looking worse day by day. Today, he has morphed into Elly and stands like a middle-aged frumpy woman.
Lynn has not only killed all the characters, she is dismembering the bodies.
dj
DreadedCandiru2,
She wants stability and a child to love but since she's had a creep forced down her throat by parents who believe comforting lies, she'll get chaos and a pint-sized arch-enemy.
Probably not a pint-sized arch-enemy. If this story arc continues into next week, the likely outcome is that Françoise will acquiesce to Anthony’s demand that she behave around Liz, and then Liz will get the payoff for her “patience” that Françoise will come to her. In the meantime, Anthony will pat his own back for his astounding parenting skills which led up to that moment.
If Lynn Johnston plans for a Christmas or New Years engagement, she doesn’t have much time for Françoise to be converted to Team Liz. They have dropped so many hints about the return of Thérèse Caine to make trouble, it is crucial for the story-writing direction that Françoise is not only on Team Liz, but can enthusiastically reject Thérèse in favour of Liz.
aprilp_katje
It's like she exists in a self-imposed bubble--then she feels baffled about her disconnect from today's parents of young children.
We have seen this displayed. She talks about how she sits on her chesterfield to write up the stories on her notepad, and then she draws the characters, and then she hands it off to Laura Piché, which is probably the first time any member of her staff had an inkling of what was going on in the strip. Moreover you have situations like the reaction to the Howard Bunt assault and her initial medical diagnosis of Grandpa Jim’s stroke, which both had to be retconned in later strips. To me it seems like she just did those strips on her own, and then someone she respected took her to task on the inaccuracies, after they were published. Notice that in both cases, these situations show up in the Research part of her website. So, it is possible her research is motivated by critics and not by a desire for accuracy on her own.
Obviously this means someone who pointed this stuff out is someone who is not on her staff. When I recollect her reaction to her critics, “Get a life!”, then I can well-imagine that no one on her staff would dare question the material as she was presenting it.
dj,
We have seen this over and over enough times to realize what the problem is. Lynn cannot “make” someone into an admired character, by using a stock hero/villain setup. Every time she tries to use this method to force an opinion of a character, it does not work. In this storyline, Lynn has made the fatal error of treating little Françoise as though she is an enemy or an obstacle to be overcome in order to get Anthony together with Elizabeth. The great Anthony defeats Françoise, and all is right in the world. The readers see Françoise as a little girl who wants attention from her father, and not an evil villain, and that's where it goes wrong.
As you said, Lynn will make the horrible, horrible mistake of trying to force us into hating Thérèse by making her into a stock villain. We could feel empathy for Lizthony if they dealt with a confused, angry woman with realistic issues. Having them defeat the cardboard monster Lynn will doubtless present us with will only make them look foolish.
Having them defeat the cardboard monster Lynn will doubtless present us with will only make them look foolish.
Well, if Lynn does it right, then it may actually provoke angry responses, judging from the way some folks have reacted to Françoise as a villain.
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