Thursday, October 08, 2009

Size 10, or Conversations I Have Never Had with My Wife

In today’s reprint of For Better or For Worse, Elly comes home after her shopping and declares to John she just got into a size 10. This is something my wife has never said to me. Moreover, I have no male friends who have reported their wives saying it to them. In fact, the only time I ever talk about my wife’s clothing size with my wife, is on birthdays and holidays when I ask her what size to buy her. At that point, she usually says something like, “Please don’t buy me any clothes,” because she knows my taste in clothing never satisfies her clothing sensibilities. This is why I always take my daughter with me when I go clothes-shopping for my wife.

John actually gets up out of his chair to praise Elly on her clothing size accomplishment and to check the clothing size tag. This is not only something I have never done; but after reading today’s comic strip, it is something I would never do. I got in trouble with my wife one time when I innocently suggested going shopping in a Lane Bryant store. My wife has told me never, ever to buy her something from Lane Bryant. I am sure it is a fine store, but for the longevity of my marriage, I have decided to take my wife at her word.

Elly says she got into a size 10, but she ends up buying a size 12. She is, therefore, simply bragging that she managed to squeeze her body uncomfortably in a smaller size, even though she bought the larger size. Again, this has never happened in my house, to my knowledge. For all I know, my wife may regularly try on smaller size outfits to see if they fit her. If she does, she has never seen fit to describe those moments to me. And what’s more, I do not feel that I have missed out by not hearing those descriptions.

Lynn Johnston doesn’t have a camera in my house for today’s strip, or for that matter, a camera anywhere in my neighbourhood.

8 Comments:

Blogger Clio said...

At that point, she usually says something like, “Please don’t buy me any clothes,” because she knows my taste in clothing never satisfies her clothing sensibilities.

I'm so glad you listen to her! My father keeps buying me clothing that is usually too big, because he remembers big clothes were "in" when I was 15, with weird patterns, and almost always in a strange dark maroon color.

My boyfriend, sensibly, sticks to chocolate, books and video games :D.

Oh, and needless to say, Lynn doesn't have a camera in my house either.

10:31 PM  
Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

I'll tell you were Lynn does have a camera: the comic strip 'Cathy'; this, as you remember, is from the era in which Lynn regularly recycled punchlines from other strips because she hadn't hit on the subtle technique of using the strip as a means of epressing her disappointment with her family yet.

2:51 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Lane Bryant is the stuffy plus sized store, where Fashion Big is the kicky/tacky plus sized store. So, basically buying a woman something from Lane Bryant tells her that she's fat and old. They do have good bras, though.

9:28 AM  
Blogger howard said...

Clio

My father keeps buying me clothing that is usually too big, because he remembers big clothes were "in" when I was 15, with weird patterns, and almost always in a strange dark maroon color.

That’s funny. My mom almost always buys me clothing that is too small. She remembers how big I was in high school, and sadly I don’t fit into adult medium anymore.

10:01 AM  
Blogger howard said...

DreadedCandiru2

I'll tell you were Lynn does have a camera: the comic strip 'Cathy';

True enough. A clothing size strip is definitely a Cathy rip-off, just like Elly’s 2 best friends were blatant Cathy imitations. You would never have seen a strip like this in the latter days of the strip.

10:01 AM  
Blogger howard said...

Esther,

So, basically buying a woman something from Lane Bryant tells her that she's fat and old.

I know that now. My wife informed me of that in no uncertain terms. Part of my husband education.

10:02 AM  
Blogger Clio said...

I've actually seen some stuff at Lane Bryant that I really liked. I think they've pushed to become more "youthful" in recent years.

3:13 PM  
Blogger howard said...

Clio,

I am sure that Lane Bryant is a lovely store, and certainly they must be doing fairly well to stay in business, unlike Mervyns and the like. After all, Esther says that they have great bras. However, unless something very significant changes, I will not be shopping there for my wife. I am still emotionally scared, I mean scarred from the last time I suggested this to her.

3:49 PM  

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