Mr. Mom

Mr. Mom was a movie that came out in 1983, so today’s new-run of For Better or For Worse does make a reference to a subject which would not have been known in 1980. Mr. Mom may be the point of origin of the Male As Hapless Doofus school of storytelling. Now it’s everywhere, especially in advertisements for household cleaners. The hidden message is that women can do anything, but give a man a house to keep, and he’ll make an utter fool of himself. And what’s aggravating about this is that it’s a tool that plays on women’s self doubts about their place in the world as a way to sell them stuff. Women have fought hard to make sex a non-issue in their working lives. However, the idea of her husband as a bumbling father and homemaker calls into question a woman’s decision to have a career. As Lynn so aptly had John Patterson put it, "Why should you want to go out and raise consciousness, Elly? When we still need people who can raise kids!"

I would like to think that Lynn Johnston, who is much more successful in her career than most of the people in the world would appreciate the idea that a woman can have a career. And yet this issue shows up in her work over and over again. Although Elly Patterson spent much of her time in the early strips trying to establish something for herself outside of her family, she still emphasized that it was the mother’s primary responsibility to take care of her children. You can see this most clearly in the example of Deanna Patterson, who was the breadwinner in her family, and who also was the one responsible for taking care of her children. Ultimately, when Michael Patterson starts making money, Deanna quits her lucrative job to open a sewing school and destroys any idea that Deanna liked or wanted to be a pharmacist. Deanna is the ideal young, married woman. Thérèse Caine, on the other hand, was vilified for wanting a career and getting her husband to agree to be her child’s primary caregiver. As people often forget about Thérèse, it is not the career that made her evil. It was because she did not want to be the primary person to raise her daughter.

In the case of Elly Patterson, John’s turn as Mr. Mom calls into question whether or not Elly can even take a vacation by herself. The original story put this across pretty well, but the new-runs have upped the ante by adding in the emotional frailty of the children without their mother.

The movie Mr. Mom (1983), although played for laughs, had not only the bumbling father, but the title gave the implication that stay-at-home dads are maternal rather than paternal. Many fathers feel that their contributions are as fathers, equal yet distinct from mothers' contributions. Ted’s point (or Lynn’s through Ted) is that men are becoming more nurturing, becoming more hands-on, and spending more time with their kids. I have the feeling that Lynn doesn’t know that “hands-on” means “active participation as opposed to theoretical”. Likewise “nurturing” is a very feminine term, as it is derived from “nursing” as in providing nourishment. I think Lynn wants men to spend more time with their children, but I don’t think Lynn understands what men bring to the parenting package.

Before I had kids, my wife bought many books on raising children, and occasionally she would hand them to me and point to the one or two pages which addressed fatherhood specifically. I remember one of the books said what a father did that was important. It was:

a. Roughhousing. Both boys and girls can roughhouse with dad without worry. Moms can do this too, but after a certain point it gets difficult, i.e. the kids get too heavy for mom to lift easily. This is definitely the case in my family. I used to swing my son by his knees upside down until he got to the age where he weighed more than 100 pounds. There is no way my wife could have done that.

b. Straight talk. Dad were less likely to use baby-talk than mom, so the kids pick up their language better from the dads. I found this definitely to be true for me, but I can’t say it is true of all men. I am a maven for proper diction thanks to my singing background, and I think it may have tainted me.

c. Tell the daughter she is beautiful. When the girls go through their stage of realizing that looks are important, for some reason they will reject assurances about this from their mothers, but accept them from their dads. Somehow this is important to the girls developing a good self-image. I haven’t gotten to this point yet with my daughter; but I can see it coming.

As for the strip itself, seeing Dr. Ted McCaulay spout this stuff, of all people, reminded me of the strip from last year where Connie Poirier talked about how wonderful it was to be a grandparent. It was like Lynn Johnston had forgotten who Connie was and how she became a grandmother. I had the same feeling when I read Ted’s dialogue today – “We’re all learning how to be hands-on parents!” When did you learn that exactly, Ted? It’s no wonder John Patterson gives him the look that leads to Dr. Ted doing that ancient “family practice” joke as a defence. At least Ted partially redeems himself by calling Elly "the little woman".

As for the art, kudos to Lynn Johnston again. Who’s taller? Dr. Ted or Dr. P? It all depends on what panel you are looking at, because they exchange heights in almost every panel. Speaking of almost every panel: What also looks different in almost every panel? If you guessed Dr. Ted’s head, then you are right. It is different in every single panel. It takes a special talent to be able to do that. If I were drawing it, Dr. Ted would have the same appearance in at least 2 panels. It's too hard to draw him differently every time; but somehow Lynn manages it. She is truly amazing.

There is one obvious error. Ted is on the left. Ted has the short coat. In the panel 3 silhouette, the one with the short coat is on the right. However, the dialogue between the panels makes it clear that Ted is the one saying the dialogue in Panel 3.