Man’s Inalienable Right to Cheat
On September 28, 2008, Lynn had a strip where a bunch of ladies are eating together and the first thing out of their mouths is a toast “to us”. To show that Lynn’s is not afraid to use the same dialogue with men as she uses with women, the first thing out of John Patterson’s mouth when out with Ted is “Well, here we are! -- To us!!” This either shows John Patterson’s feminine side, or shows that both men and women toast each other when they go out, or just shows (once again) that every character in this strip is actually Lynn Johnston.
In today’s new-run of For Better or For Worse, we get to see that Ted and John are out on the town and the first thing up is that Ted is supposedly hitting on the waitress, which offends John, whose offense does not discourage Ted. At least that’s what I think is happening. The dialogue is so strangely written, it is a little difficult to tell. Ted quotes the United States’ Declaration of Independence of all things. Then he tells the waitress that she is “something else,” which is neither a sexual come-on nor an intelligent flattering compliment. Then John and Ted interplay “toning it down” with “cranking it up” as if their conversation was more like control knobs on a sound system. Can this possibly be Lynn Johnston’s attempt at man-speak?
The real question I have about this storyline concerns its basic fundamental purpose. Saturday’s strip hinted that Jean Baker believed there was a real chance that John would become a “rat” by going out with Ted. We know what ultimately ends up happening is Ted tries to convince John to chase women and act like a bachelor, and John refuses to do this. To me, this is an absurd storyline. Why would a single man try to convince a man who is married with children to mess around with women while his wife is out-of-town? Does he want to break up his marriage and his family? What is his motivation? Why would anyone do what Ted is trying to do?
We know from Lynn Johnston’s interviews after-the-fact, she seems to consider married men messing around on their wives to be a commonplace activity. Ted thinks John has had his wings clipped by Elly. Ted thinks John should be free. From this perspective, Ted McCaulay is trying to encourage John Patterson to do something that Ted believes a married man should be doing. This is the part of the story that does not work for me.
Just for jollies I did the old internet search on statistics for the percentage of married men who cheat on their spouses and found that studies believe it is anywhere from 22 to 70%, depending on the point the study is trying to make. Then there were the studies which asked if people believed it was morally wrong to cheat and the answer was overwhelmingly “Yes.” I also tried to get a percentage on men who encourage men to cheat, but the internet didn’t find that particular statistic for me. No surprise there. What you have then is that most people think it is immoral to cheat, even if they do it themselves. Consequently, this whole story with Dr. Ted McCaulay and Dr. John Patterson does not work at its most fundamental level. It is true that married men cheat on their wives; but it is highly unlikely that these married men are encouraged to do so by their single male friends. I don’t think Lynn Johnston knows this.
I could see a single man and a married man looking at women and admiring their physical features. They would have this in common and there is no harm in looking. If Ted and John both looked at the waitress and made some comment like, “I like the way her hair is pulled back into a ponytail” or “Look at those lips of loveliness” or “I hope she opens her eyes so she doesn’t crash into something and drop our beer”, then it would be more believable to me. It would not, however, work on Lynn Johnston’s issues with her cheating ex-husband or her strange beliefs about how people act in Lynn Lake. The more I see of this comic strip, the more I realize that not only does Lynn Johnston put in her real-life stories, but she also puts in her real-life fears.
The fear of a cheating man permeates almost every relationship in this strip. I would be hard-pressed to find a story about a relationship ending in this strip that does not end because of cheating. Ultimately, this fear is what is at the heart of the story of Ted and John. John chooses not to cheat, but the author lets us know she fears it is possible.
In today’s new-run of For Better or For Worse, we get to see that Ted and John are out on the town and the first thing up is that Ted is supposedly hitting on the waitress, which offends John, whose offense does not discourage Ted. At least that’s what I think is happening. The dialogue is so strangely written, it is a little difficult to tell. Ted quotes the United States’ Declaration of Independence of all things. Then he tells the waitress that she is “something else,” which is neither a sexual come-on nor an intelligent flattering compliment. Then John and Ted interplay “toning it down” with “cranking it up” as if their conversation was more like control knobs on a sound system. Can this possibly be Lynn Johnston’s attempt at man-speak?
The real question I have about this storyline concerns its basic fundamental purpose. Saturday’s strip hinted that Jean Baker believed there was a real chance that John would become a “rat” by going out with Ted. We know what ultimately ends up happening is Ted tries to convince John to chase women and act like a bachelor, and John refuses to do this. To me, this is an absurd storyline. Why would a single man try to convince a man who is married with children to mess around with women while his wife is out-of-town? Does he want to break up his marriage and his family? What is his motivation? Why would anyone do what Ted is trying to do?
We know from Lynn Johnston’s interviews after-the-fact, she seems to consider married men messing around on their wives to be a commonplace activity. Ted thinks John has had his wings clipped by Elly. Ted thinks John should be free. From this perspective, Ted McCaulay is trying to encourage John Patterson to do something that Ted believes a married man should be doing. This is the part of the story that does not work for me.
Just for jollies I did the old internet search on statistics for the percentage of married men who cheat on their spouses and found that studies believe it is anywhere from 22 to 70%, depending on the point the study is trying to make. Then there were the studies which asked if people believed it was morally wrong to cheat and the answer was overwhelmingly “Yes.” I also tried to get a percentage on men who encourage men to cheat, but the internet didn’t find that particular statistic for me. No surprise there. What you have then is that most people think it is immoral to cheat, even if they do it themselves. Consequently, this whole story with Dr. Ted McCaulay and Dr. John Patterson does not work at its most fundamental level. It is true that married men cheat on their wives; but it is highly unlikely that these married men are encouraged to do so by their single male friends. I don’t think Lynn Johnston knows this.
I could see a single man and a married man looking at women and admiring their physical features. They would have this in common and there is no harm in looking. If Ted and John both looked at the waitress and made some comment like, “I like the way her hair is pulled back into a ponytail” or “Look at those lips of loveliness” or “I hope she opens her eyes so she doesn’t crash into something and drop our beer”, then it would be more believable to me. It would not, however, work on Lynn Johnston’s issues with her cheating ex-husband or her strange beliefs about how people act in Lynn Lake. The more I see of this comic strip, the more I realize that not only does Lynn Johnston put in her real-life stories, but she also puts in her real-life fears.
The fear of a cheating man permeates almost every relationship in this strip. I would be hard-pressed to find a story about a relationship ending in this strip that does not end because of cheating. Ultimately, this fear is what is at the heart of the story of Ted and John. John chooses not to cheat, but the author lets us know she fears it is possible.
posted by howard at 12:31 AM
15 Comments:
howard,
It is true that married men cheat on their wives; but it is highly unlikely that these married men are encouraged to do so by their single male friends. I don’t think Lynn Johnston knows this.
No, she doesn't; this fear-inspired piece of ignorance mutated into a different form in the next generation. It seems to me that Weed's constant demand that he and Mike go into business together were intended to represent a baleful threat to the sanctity of Mike's marriage. Lynn's one-woman moral panic led her to believe that absence would naturally make the heart grow wander. This is also why it was that Liz tried to get Paul and Warren to settle down in Milboring; Lynn simply cannot believe that a man would remain loyal if he's not under his wife's constant surveillance.
Lynn simply cannot believe that a man would remain loyal if he's not under his wife's constant surveillance.
Nail.
On the head.
Of course, Lynn is now utterly convinced of it, thanks to Rod's defection with her employee. Never mind that maintaining that constant suspicion for many, many years can ultimately possibly drive someone away or even actually prove a self-fulfilling prophecy...
Anonymous,
Never mind that maintaining that constant suspicion for many, many years can ultimately possibly drive someone away or even actually prove a self-fulfilling prophecy...
Exactly right. Not, of course, that Lynn can see that; that would mean that she would have to accept responsibility for her own actions and she's too chicken to do that. This whole strip is one big exercise in evading blame.
Yup. This is nuts. (Ted did it in the original run, too, of course.)
I thought Ted was an outlier, since he saw no difference between "playing around" as a single man and when he was married. He was genuinely shocked when his wife decided enough was enough and left him. This *didn't* shock John.
Even though it wasn't a theme I originally noticed in FOOB, in some ways the fear of cheating is pervasive (in a way that's not obvious when it's slowly doled out over years). It only comes up every so often, but when you look back, you see that at pretty much every *possible* opportunity it became part of the story. Part of John's story is that he's courageously(?) resisting the cheating atmosphere around him.
And with this analysis I get the thought: in this way Therese was the "man" in that relationship. She prioritized work, was tempted there, and cheated. Maybe that's the difference between Dee wanting to go back to work (and being torn by it) and Therese: if you think it's just natural that you *will* go back to work, you're acting like a man, so you're almost certainly a cheater.
InsertMonikerHere,
I thought Ted was an outlier, since he saw no difference between "playing around" as a single man and when he was married. He was genuinely shocked when his wife decided enough was enough and left him. This *didn't* shock John.
Nor did it shock anyone else; it's obvious that the part of Ted that valued monogamy never really developed. The only reason he stopped playing 'The Game' is that he's too damned old.
See this confuses me. Here John is horrified at the idea of a husband being encouraged to mess around (even just flirting) behind his wife's back, but later when Anthony is married he has no problem sending his daughter to be "the other woman" and even talking up how great his daughter would be as a wife to Anthony.
IMO the real fail here is that Lynn has no clue how guys act with other guys and is either too self-satisfied or too lazy to find out.
For one thing, Ted is supposed to be tha playa here, the hound and the seducer of women, but he acts like a fourteen-year-old and a fourteen-year-old who's grown up in a convent at that. He shows no real social skills and especially no sexual skills that you'd expect. Instead he acts like a horny idiot that any woman with a functioning handbrain would take about ten seconds to blow off.
And the other big fail is the dynamic between Ted and John. Guys don't "go out" to chase women. Guys go out to hang, to talk sports or interpretive dance or shoot pool or WHATever...if the opportunity to score comes along (unless they are into some pretty serious group-kink deal) it's a solo shot. The most the guys might do is one might "wingman" the other to peel off the target woman's friend.
If Ted and John were just hanging out scoping out the local talent it'd be one thing. But they're not; Ted is practically bursting out of his tighty-whities and John is acting like a nervous virgin hearing the word "sex" spoken right out in public. The whole exchange is moronic.
And...as if this wasn't enough, the entire John/Ted thing doesn't work. Train Man and Doctor Horndog have nothing in common, don't appear to do anything together or enjoy similar interests or hobbies. I'm sorry, Lynn, but guys aren't women. We don't just "have coffee" or "have a drink" with someone we don't particularly get anything out of.
Nope. It doesn't work as farce and it doesn't work as slice of life. This just flat doesn't work at all.
But the one thing that words is the "word verification" that Blogger just gave me.
It's "porkin'"
InsertMonikerHere,
And with this analysis I get the thought: in this way Therese was the "man" in that relationship. She prioritized work, was tempted there, and cheated.
Ah, that explains it. I was trying to figure out how Lynn rationalizes the fact that wives cheat on their husbands, too. It's not "real" women who cheat, it's those unnatural "manly" women.
clio-1,
It's not "real" women who cheat, it's those unnatural "manly" women.
But what makes them manly is their focus on work and not on their family. I always thought Thérèse was one of the most feminine women Lynn Johnston drew in the strip. When it came to clothing and manners, Elly and Liz were much manlier than Thérèse.
FDChief,
IMO the real fail here is that Lynn has no clue how guys act with other guys and is either too self-satisfied or too lazy to find out.
She has no real excuse here. “Bromances” are the popular thing in Hollywood right now. She could go and check out I Love You, Man in the theatres and get some idea of it. This is assuming that she could force herself to sit through that kind of picture.
Guys don't "go out" to chase women. Guys go out to hang, to talk sports or interpretive dance or shoot pool or WHATever...
Interpretive dance? There’s a discussion topic I have missed with my friends.
Train Man and Doctor Horndog have nothing in common, don't appear to do anything together or enjoy similar interests or hobbies.
Not entirely true. They are both doctors working in the same building. They may have common clients and refer patients to one another. If the discussion were on those grounds, it would probably work.
Shegar,
Here John is horrified at the idea of a husband being encouraged to mess around (even just flirting) behind his wife's back, but later when Anthony is married he has no problem sending his daughter to be "the other woman" and even talking up how great his daughter would be as a wife to Anthony.
It still works. It’s wrong for men to cheat, but not as wrong for women. Technically, Thérèse is a man, since she is based on Lynn’s first husband. But in other stories of cheating, the women rarely get blamed. Liz’s harsh words on cheating go to Paul Wright and not Susan Dokis. When Eric Chamberlain is cheating on Liz, she gangs up with the other woman, Tina, to beat him up, and the other woman pretends she didn’t know (even though Lynn showed a scene of Liz calling Tina asking where Eric was, when Eric was right beside her asking her to pretend he wasn’t there). When Rhetta Blum cheats on Mike, he is happy about it, because it means he can start dating Deanna without guilt.
InsertMonikerHere,
I thought Ted was an outlier, since he saw no difference between "playing around" as a single man and when he was married. He was genuinely shocked when his wife decided enough was enough and left him. This *didn't* shock John.
It was almost like John realized adultery was bad and Ted skipped class the day when “Adultery is bad” was taught. This either means incredible arrogance on Ted’s part, if he believed he was so wonderful no woman would ever leave him no matter what he did, or just blatant ignorance on how marriage works. What should have been obvious to Ted when it came to marriage, since Ted has a good living, is that he could take a huge financial hit with a divorce. For him to ignore this seems more than a little stupid.
And with this analysis I get the thought: in this way Therese was the "man" in that relationship.
Better than this, Thérèse is a direct imitation of Lynn’s first husband. She cheats. She values work more than her husband. She leaves and takes little-to-no interest in her child. Anthony Caine as a single dad, represented Lynn in this situation. It was an interesting gender twist for Lynn to do with this story. It plays against the double-standards for cheating by gender. If Lynn hadn’t chosen to beef it up by playing up Anthony as noble and heroic for taking care of his child or Thérèse as a money-grubbing city girl, then it might have worked.
Maybe that's the difference between Dee wanting to go back to work (and being torn by it) and Therese: if you think it's just natural that you *will* go back to work, you're acting like a man, so you're almost certainly a cheater.
Acting like a man = cheater. Acting like a woman is not cheating. Good point. Maybe this is also why John and Mike Patterson don’t cheat.
Anonymous,
Of course, Lynn is now utterly convinced of it, thanks to Rod's defection with her employee.
And now she is trying to convince us with her alterations to this story.
Never mind that maintaining that constant suspicion for many, many years can ultimately possibly drive someone away or even actually prove a self-fulfilling prophecy...
This part is difficult to get a handle on. Lynn has implied that she suspected Rod of cheating all along with his harem of beautiful medical assistants working in his office. After all, if Lynn had been nagging him about this for 30 years, you would think he might move to hiring ugly women, or better yet, ugly men. Based on the appearance of the woman with whom Rod is rumoured have cheated, I suspect that Lynn’s assessment of the beauty of Rod’s staff was overstated. He may not have been able to hire ugly enough for Lynn. The population of woman older than Lynn with hideous facial scarring who work as hygienists is probably somewhat limited.
DreadedCandiru2,
It seems to me that Weed's constant demand that he and Mike go into business together were intended to represent a baleful threat to the sanctity of Mike's marriage. Lynn's one-woman moral panic led her to believe that absence would naturally make the heart grow wander.
That’s an interesting perspective, but it could explain why you could have one strip where buying Lovey’s old apartment is considered stupid for Weed and Mike to do it, but smart for Weed and Carleen to do it. If it’s Carleen, then the venture is no threat to her relationship with Weed.
This is also why it was that Liz tried to get Paul and Warren to settle down in Milboring; Lynn simply cannot believe that a man would remain loyal if he's not under his wife's constant surveillance.
Not only settle down, but Liz insisted that whatever man date her, that he had to come to her, and thus show he was under her control. One of young Anthony Caine’s faults was that he never went to Nippissing to visit Liz. One of Warren Blackwood’s faults was that he never went to Mtigwaki to take her out. When it came to Constable Paul Wright, Lynn goofed on this theme because she showed him willing to move to Mtigwaki and then tried the same stunt when Liz moved to Milborough. I think Lynn didn’t realize that when she was trying to set up Paul Wright to cheat on Liz with Susan Dokis by having him move to Spruce Narrow (near Mtigwaki), it would make it look like Liz was running away from him.
"They are both doctors working in the same building. They may have common clients and refer patients to one another."
True, and I have friends on that basis. But Lynn, true to half of her "tell, don't show" style, never shows us this. I don't remember them EVER talking about work on these bunny hunts. It's always Ted on the prowl and John the Virgin shaking his head.
Post a Comment
<< Home