Mike Channels His Future Self
With respect to today’s For Better or For Worse, I am tired of saying, “6-year-olds don’t talk like that.” Let’s visit Mike of the future who does.
Mike: People like girls better than they like boys…especially babies.
All those people who write into my mom’s Coffee Talk and want to see more of the story from the modern days, do they ever say, “I would love to see how Mike does in the future?” No. They say, “I wish we could see how Elizabeth is handling her marriage, her blended family, and her baby.” It was the same when I got married. Who was out there that said, “Mike shouldn’t marry Deanna. It’s all wrong for him. He should have stayed with Rhetta.”? No one. But Elizabeth marries Anthony and the whole world is concerned she made the wrong decision. She's just as much of a bitch as I am; but there's nothing about how Mike made the wrong decision, just Elizabeth.
Mike: Everyone like Elizabeth, but nobody likes me.
John: Mike that’s not true.
There are lots of people out there that like to hate you. Whenever you get a job you don’t deserve, or rescue a manuscript and don’t get burned, or get a $25K advance on your novel, or publish a second best-seller 6 months later; they hate you. I would even say they love to hate you. As for me, I like you when you rake the leaves without my asking. Hint. Hint.
Whenever you’re feeling jealous about Elizabeth and her upcoming birth of a baby boy she will name after Grandpa Jim, just remember that you have a hot babe for a wife, and not some potato-nosed woman who is determined to make you look as bad as possible in every single publication across the nation.
John: Babies need more attention, that’s all. You’re big, now! You can take care of yourself!
Mike: Dad?...Would you teach me how to drive?
Mom taught April, and I always felt like there was something lacking, since I was taught by Mrs. Carey, my driving instructor. All you did was laugh when I failed my driving test due to Martha McGuire, and told me I was a loser just like you. I want some good moments with you dad. Teach me to drive.
Mike: People like girls better than they like boys…especially babies.
All those people who write into my mom’s Coffee Talk and want to see more of the story from the modern days, do they ever say, “I would love to see how Mike does in the future?” No. They say, “I wish we could see how Elizabeth is handling her marriage, her blended family, and her baby.” It was the same when I got married. Who was out there that said, “Mike shouldn’t marry Deanna. It’s all wrong for him. He should have stayed with Rhetta.”? No one. But Elizabeth marries Anthony and the whole world is concerned she made the wrong decision. She's just as much of a bitch as I am; but there's nothing about how Mike made the wrong decision, just Elizabeth.
Mike: Everyone like Elizabeth, but nobody likes me.
John: Mike that’s not true.
There are lots of people out there that like to hate you. Whenever you get a job you don’t deserve, or rescue a manuscript and don’t get burned, or get a $25K advance on your novel, or publish a second best-seller 6 months later; they hate you. I would even say they love to hate you. As for me, I like you when you rake the leaves without my asking. Hint. Hint.
Whenever you’re feeling jealous about Elizabeth and her upcoming birth of a baby boy she will name after Grandpa Jim, just remember that you have a hot babe for a wife, and not some potato-nosed woman who is determined to make you look as bad as possible in every single publication across the nation.
John: Babies need more attention, that’s all. You’re big, now! You can take care of yourself!
Mike: Dad?...Would you teach me how to drive?
Mom taught April, and I always felt like there was something lacking, since I was taught by Mrs. Carey, my driving instructor. All you did was laugh when I failed my driving test due to Martha McGuire, and told me I was a loser just like you. I want some good moments with you dad. Teach me to drive.
posted by howard at 11:07 PM
9 Comments:
LOL. The last couple of days have been bad, but in a really boring way. I wish Lynn would spice this up. If she really wants to assassinate John/Rod's character, she should have John allow Mike to sit on his lap and "drive" up and down the driveway. Mike could veer wildly off course and smash into the house, waking the baby and arousing the ire of Elly. Puns could ensue, even.
Or she could have Phil drop by, and retcon him into talking all about how he wishes he were settled down and married already. Or Ted could come over, and tell a story about how he once worked in a hick town entirely populated by adulterers and fornicators.
Please steal one of these ideas, Lynn. Or all of them. Your observations on baby/childhood are dull as watching oatmeal dry on the wall where the baby threw it.
I can't for the life of me figure out why people are bored by this. Watching Lynn prove she hasn't the vaguest notion how small children behave is fairly entertaining. The strip itself is boring but the letters that say "My Micheal is JUST like that! Kudos, Ellie!" are a hoot.
Martha McGuire
pssst. . . . McRae ;)
Your take on today's strip has done what the strip failed to do--make me laugh. :)
qnjones,
Or she could have Phil drop by, and retcon him into talking all about how he wishes he were settled down and married already. Or Ted could come over, and tell a story about how he once worked in a hick town entirely populated by adulterers and fornicators.
That would end up making them RePhil and ReTed, wouldn't it? It would make sense that the new-run Phil would join RetConnie in having no social life and wishing that he was married and didn't need one. Almost as much sense as turning Ted into Principal Skinner.
qnjones,
Or Ted could come over, and tell a story about how he once worked in a hick town entirely populated by adulterers and fornicators.
I like this idea.
Your observations on baby/childhood are dull as watching oatmeal dry on the wall where the baby threw it.
As for today’s observation, I kept on thinking that Mike from the future could be writing this kids’ dialogue.
dreadedcandiru2,
The strip itself is boring but the letters that say "My Micheal is JUST like that! Kudos, Ellie!" are a hoot.
Those kinds of letters make reading Coffee Talk worthwhile and are certainly better than the billionth letter saying “Congratulations on ending your strip. Please bring it back.”
aprilp_katje,
Martha McGuire
pssst. . . . McRae ;)
Ah, continuity goddess, how I love you.
I saw this today and couldn't help but think of Mike and poor battered Fred the Fish. Thought I would share:)
Nav,
Thanks for sharing. That is a great video.
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