Lying to Children

At my house, we have birds. My wife and my son have terrible allergies to fur-bearing creatures, so dogs and cats are not an option. My daughter desperately wants a cat, but it is not in her future while she lives with her mother and brother. She still believes though, if she nags her mother or me long enough, she will get a cat. It hasn’t worked. Nevertheless, when she asks about it, I give the straight answer about her mother and brother’s allergies.

In today’s For Better or For Worse, new-run John’s explanation of why mom doesn’t want a dog is not particularly truthful. The premise behind John’s logic is that since there is a time during the day when Elly is at home with just Lizzie, she would end up looking after the dog. Therefore, it is practical for the Pattersons not to get a dog. According to John’s logic, having that time alone with the dog makes you the sole bearer of responsibility for the dog.

From our old-run experience, we know a dog is just around the corner in the form of Farley, and so this logic is a lie. Elly proves to be able to handle a dog while John is at work and Michael is at school. We also know that the kids actively take care of the animals in the Patterson home (aside from Mr. B, which is another story). Knowing the future makes John’s little talk here, appear especially untruthful.

The true answer is that John doesn’t want to make the agreement with Elly to help take care of the dog. Both he and Elly know that if a dog comes, he is going to put all the responsibility for the dog’s care on her. He doesn’t tell that to Mike. He uses words like “practical” and “it stands to reason” to confuse him. I hate that kind of talk with my kids. I just tell them the answers and hope I don’t get asked anything too difficult to answer in a public venue, like the time when my daughter asked me where babies come from while we were out grocery-shopping.