From Mike Praise to Elly Praise
Back when I lived in Dallas, Texas; I was closely located to 2 sets of grandparents, both on my wife’s side. Dallas is a big city, and so one set of grandparents was a 30-minute drive away and the other set was a 45-minute drive away. When the grandparents agreed to baby-sit, they never came to my house. We always went to theirs and picked up the kids in a similar fashion as Mike and Deanna do with Elly Patterson in today’s For Better or For Worse.
After we moved to Arizona, we really missed having grandparents in town. The part of today’s strip which seems realistic to me, is the part where Deanna says, “She makes life so much easier.” The part that doesn’t make sense is the dialogue around it. “We’re lucky your mom takes the kids for us.” This implies that there was a real possibility that Elly would not agree to take the kids for them.
When Deanna and Mike lived in Toronto, Elly was an event-baby-sitter. Someone had to be sick, or the parents were in desperate need, or it was Mother’s Day. This has proved to be the case, even with Elly living down the street from Mike. In this strip, Elly helps out because the regular sitter is sick or when Deanna cannot get her kids down to Elly’s in a reasonable time. If these are Elly’s conditions for sitting her grandchildren, then it follows that Michael and Deanna are lucky that Elly took the kids for them, because she normally would refuse to do so.
The other thing we never did was to stop on the way back from wherever we had gone in Dallas, to pick up flowers for the grandmother doing the baby-sitting. It’s a nice thought, but pretty impractical given the time of night they are approaching home. Or maybe, I am just a very, bad, in-law.
After we moved to Arizona, we really missed having grandparents in town. The part of today’s strip which seems realistic to me, is the part where Deanna says, “She makes life so much easier.” The part that doesn’t make sense is the dialogue around it. “We’re lucky your mom takes the kids for us.” This implies that there was a real possibility that Elly would not agree to take the kids for them.
When Deanna and Mike lived in Toronto, Elly was an event-baby-sitter. Someone had to be sick, or the parents were in desperate need, or it was Mother’s Day. This has proved to be the case, even with Elly living down the street from Mike. In this strip, Elly helps out because the regular sitter is sick or when Deanna cannot get her kids down to Elly’s in a reasonable time. If these are Elly’s conditions for sitting her grandchildren, then it follows that Michael and Deanna are lucky that Elly took the kids for them, because she normally would refuse to do so.
The other thing we never did was to stop on the way back from wherever we had gone in Dallas, to pick up flowers for the grandmother doing the baby-sitting. It’s a nice thought, but pretty impractical given the time of night they are approaching home. Or maybe, I am just a very, bad, in-law.
posted by howard at 11:36 PM
11 Comments:
Your take on this is interesting to me because when I saw that the kids were at Elly's house, I thought, "What a self-centered you-know-what Elly is!" The only inconvenience associated with going to Mike's house is that Elly would have to haul her fat butt over a couple of blocks. But when you take kids somewhere, it often involves dragging along a bunch of kid-related paraphenalia, not to mention how inconvenient it is to have to wake up the kids halfway through the night.
Then again, I have known more grandparents who babysat at their own houses than I have known grandparents who went to the houses of their children to sit. So either 1) grandparents are mostly a self-centered lot, or 2) there is something I'm missing. But I would think this is a horribly inconvenient setup for everyone except Grandma.
qnjones:
But I would think this is a horribly inconvenient setup for everyone except Grandma.
Since we're talking about the Pattersaints, defending that which is most convenient for Saint Flapandhonk is Job Frikking One. The destruction of Therese's marriage, for instance, was a necessity because Anthony was the only person who could keep Liz within a thirty-minute drive of where Elly lives.
We live a couple of thousand miles away from any grandparent, though I see how helpful it is for my brothers to have my mother watch the kids. There are times we wish we had that for our young children.
I don't think it's inconsiderate for a grandparent to have you bring the kids to their house. After all, they're the ones doing the favor.
That being said, it shouldn't be difficult for Elly to haul her sorry ass two houses down so the kids can sleep in their own beds.
qnjones
So either 1) grandparents are mostly a self-centered lot, or 2) there is something I'm missing.
What you are missing. In my story, one set of my wife’s parents in the Dallas area has dogs and a huge yard. We don’t have dogs, thanks to my wife’s allergies. So, playing with the dogs was a strong motivation for the kids to stay there. The other set of my wife’s parents doesn’t like to travel late at night. They will do it if they have to, but they prefer not. The distance is part of the issue, plus the erratic driving habits Dallas-area drivers at night time can be disturbing. Once you get to a certain age, there are issues with nighttime driving. And my wife’s step-mother does definitely dislike dealing with grandkids outside of her own home.
On the other hand, my wife’s mom has come out to Tucson more than once and baby-sat the kids in our house in Tucson, so my wife and I could take a vacation without the kids. And when I was growing up and my grandparents were a 5-minute drive away, they often sat me and my sisters at our own house. However, that was a very small town in western North Carolina where there was almost no one on the road late at night.
With Elly, I can imagine that Robin and Merrie might enjoy being at her house in order to play with Edgar and Dixie, and to see John’s model train layout covering 3 lots of back yard, and to get something to eat aside from carrots.
dreadedcandiru2
The destruction of Therese's marriage, for instance, was a necessity because Anthony was the only person who could keep Liz within a thirty-minute drive of where Elly lives.
I know that Anthony lives in Gordon’s old house, which used to be his dad’s old house, which means that he is probably within walking distance of the Patterson’s old house; because Gordon and Mike used to get together in the days before they could drive. For some reason this hasn’t been brought up. Mike and Deanna were back in Milborough for the January to September monthly letters, and although they mentioned their children meeting other children, it was never Anthony’s child. I wonder if Lynn Johnston has forgotten where Anthony’s house would have to be located in relationship to the Sharon Park Drive house. Now Liz, in the monthly letters, pointed out that her apartment is on the other side of Milborough from the Sharon Park Drive house, but it is close to the school where she works. So, when everyone has to drive to her house, it makes sense.
James
That being said, it shouldn't be difficult for Elly to haul her sorry ass two houses down so the kids can sleep in their own beds.
There is also the possibility that Deanna and Mike might not want to have Elly in their house. Imagine coming home from the party to hear this, “Flowers, for me?!! Oh, by the way, I didn’t like the way you rearranged my house, so I moved things back to where they should be. I’m sure you won’t mind. Also, you really need to clean around the rabbit cage a little better, or the Robin will get sick from eating the stuff the rabbit leaves on the floor. And, here’s a list of things that need to be fixed. Are you glad that grandmothers are the gift that keeps giving?”
My favorite part is that Elly considers grandchildren "the gift that keeps on giving" only after she's gotten a present out of it. So the implication is that it's not that the grandkids are a reward in themselves, but that they lead to her getting material reward.
Diamond Joe, I had the same thought. For a lot of people, grandkids seem to be a status symbol. I know plenty of people who do not like children at all, who are or were desperate to become grandparents. Many of them still don't like being around children, but it is considered embarrassing in the 65+ set not to have any grandkids. My parents can't stand children, but are begging for grandkids. Many aunts and uncles are already grandparents. I see that many of them don't like being around the grandkids much at all, but love to brag about how many grandkids they have and tell stories about them.
Elly seems to be kind of like that. She likes to talk about being a grandmother, and how she worries about setting an example for Merrie, blah blah, but Howard is right: until now, there had to be a crisis to get Elly to spend time with the grandkids. And John seems to have zero interest. I would not be surprised to learn that "godsend Elly" sends the grandkids down to the basement and makes April mind them.
qnjones:
I'll have to third that. Much like Mira wanted a big, fancy wedding nobody else wanted to show the world she'd succeeded as a mother, Elly wants grandkids to show off to prove her worth. The difference is that the Evil Woman who lives in the Evil City of Burlington admitted what she wanted which was, of course, evil.
qnjones,
I know plenty of people who do not like children at all, who are or were desperate to become grandparents.
Another situation which is possible is the one like my wife has with her mother. According to legend, her mother was not a particularly good mom, i.e. she let my wife’s father be the primary caregiver for her and her brother. When grandkids came along, she was desperate to spend time with them, and is now my kids’ favourite grandparent. My wife suspects it was to allow her to do the things which she had intentionally missed doing with her. After a little while resenting her for it, my wife got over it and she and her mom have bonded.
Clearly this is not the situation with Elly Patterson, but I thought I mention it as an alternative.
dreadedcandiru2
I'll have to third that. Much like Mira wanted a big, fancy wedding nobody else wanted to show the world she'd succeeded as a mother, Elly wants grandkids to show off to prove her worth.
Except, of course, Elly doesn’t show off her grandkids. We have had Mike at Lilliputs’ for book-signings 2 times in a row, and not once do we see Elly herding around Merrie and Robin and introducing them to people.
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