Saturday, March 15, 2008

Cycle of Abuse

I remember when I was in university and I had a sociology course which briefly discussed the nature of abuse in the family. From this course, I clearly remember being given an example of dad hits mom, mom hits kid, kid hits family dog. Of course the sociology course went into more detail about how when the kids get older or bigger than mom, then she could get abused by her own kids. All of these were fairly horrifying to me, in my very innocent upbringing. If only I had read today’s For Better or For Worse comic strip back when it was originally published, then I would see the humourous side of family abuse.

It is a disturbing part of our culture that at one point, the idea of abuse in a family could be considered a point of humour. There was Ralph Kramden of The Honeymooners with his lines to his wife Alice, "Bang, zoom, straight to the moon!" and "One of these days, Alice, POW, right in the kisser!" There were moments when Lucy of I Love Lucy would say she wouldn’t do something for fear husband Ricky would hit her. And in more recent years, Homer Simpson of The Simpsons is known for trying to strangle his son, Bart. However, even more disturbing than For Better or For Worse participating in this part of our culture, is the idea that the creator of the comic strip, herself a victim of abuse as a child, would choose this particular subject to illustrate back in 1980 and moreover to reprint in 2008.

There is no physical violence in this reprint of For Better or For Worse and there is one crucial area of the story that would be very unrealistic in my family. When the book is taken from Lizzie, she takes her anger out on her doll. When my daughter was that age, she would have screamed bloody murder until Elly or John came to see what happened and forced Michael to give back the book.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought the strip hit rock bottom last week, but I was mistaken.

Anon NYC

10:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I came to say that this strip is, sadly, like Lynn had a camera in my home when I was growing up. Those very things were screamed at my mom and me in the Michael role. Yes, if you are nasty to each other and your children, your kids will learn to be nasty to each other and other people as well. No, it is not even remotely funny.

12:23 AM  
Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

It does highlight something I've long thought. Just as some alcoholics think that everyone is really a drunk, abuse victims like Lynn think that every family is really like her own. If she did encounter a family that treats each member with respect, she'd just think they were hiding their real hostility very well. If she were to accept that her family was an anomaly, that her cruel tyrant of a mother was a vicious abberation, it might knock some of the smug defensiveness and puerile arrogance out of her.

3:36 AM  
Blogger April Patterson said...

I've said this before, but this strip reinforces what I've previously observed. It seems to me that Lynn has a huge blind spot when it comes to verbal/emotional abuse. She manages to "get" that beating the crap out of someone--physically--is BAD. But the abuse she experienced as a child was NOT limited to the physical abuse, and she doesn't seem to fully recognize how harmful THAT element was and is. So you see it leak through in her strip and played for laughs. It's disturbing. Therapy would have been/would be a very, very good thing.

5:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear For Better or For Worse,

Thank you for warming my heart on this beautiful Sunday morning with a delightful recipe on domestic strife.

8:37 AM  
Blogger howard said...

Anon NYC,

I thought the strip hit rock bottom last week, but I was mistaken.
The best part is, by the time September rolls around to end this strip, I fully expect Lynn Johnston to plumb new depths in her strip, below last week and today.

1:54 PM  
Blogger howard said...

qnjones,

I came to say that this strip is, sadly, like Lynn had a camera in my home when I was growing up. No, it is not even remotely funny.
I am sorry you had to grow up in that environment. I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you and I agree with you 100% that today’s strip is not funny.

1:59 PM  
Blogger howard said...

DreadedCandiru2,

If she did encounter a family that treats each member with respect, she'd just think they were hiding their real hostility very well.
According to her interviews, Rod’s family was supposed to be much nicer to her than her own family; but I guess not nice enough to keep her from doing today’s comic strip.

1:59 PM  
Blogger howard said...

aprilp_katje,

She manages to "get" that beating the crap out of someone--physically--is BAD.
Unless you count thrown coffee cups or packages of frozen vegetables or extremely vigorous pillow fights or the time that Liz pinned down April and the classic “Tina and Liz beat Eric with their fist” scene. I think you’re right about verbal/emotional abuse, but there is a certain amount of physical abuse that is also allowed. I would guess “no visible wounds” is the difference because she was against the abuse Gordon and Candace got.

2:00 PM  
Blogger howard said...

Anonymous,

Thank you for warming my heart on this beautiful Sunday morning with a delightful recipe on domestic strife.
I thought it worked very well with last week’s sequence explaining just why it is that Elizabeth Patterson was willing to accept a marriage proposal without any love.

2:01 PM  
Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

howtheduck:

Since she never experienced love growing up, she can, sadly, endure, perhaps even tolerate, its absence. She's the disturbed and disturbing product of a family who care far more about how they look than who they are.

2:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

qnjones

No, it is not even remotely funny.

Perhaps 20 years ago Lynn was able to “get away” with this type of humor because the Pattersons were portrayed as two-dimensional stick figures. They were just cartoon people, like Calvin, Dennis the Menis, or Zits. But this type of humor doesn’t work with characters that are portrayed as real. I suspect that even the most ardent snarker is emotionally connected to a Patterson--so these retro strips become offensive because we really do care. This strip would be tolerable if John’s expression was toned down and Liz was yelling at the dog, instead of smashing a doll.

I'm not that familiar with the TV shows that Howard mentions, but, if I remember correctly, Ricky and Ralph talked big while Lucy and Alice had the men wound around their little fingers.

Any opinions?

Anon NYC

7:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just like the strip where Elly screams at Michael for interrupting her sewing (and he wants her to tell him she still loves him) this type of strip just makes me so very, very sad.

Lynn just seems to find no joy in "domestic bliss". Makes me wonder when Anthony tells Francoise she will live in a "happy home with two people who love her" what kind of horrors await.

8:11 PM  
Blogger howard said...

Anon NYC,

The common argument made in favor of Ralph’s statements about violence planned for Alice was that no actual domestic violence was featured in the show (which obviously would ruin the comedic element) and that Alice never backed down to Ralph and almost always won their verbal battles. In the case of Lucy on I Love Lucy, she often defied her husband’s orders and tricked him into doing what she wanted. As for Homer strangling Bart on The Simpsons, Bart’s cartoon neck has been so malleable, Homer has never been successful in actually killing him.

12:40 AM  

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