Tuesday, March 11, 2008

It's Must Be Robot Love

Today’s strip of For Better or For Worse actually repulsed me. Anthony is talking about marriage as if he is trying to avoid an unpleasant task that requires the use of the taboo “M” word. As I think back to how Lynn got along with all her old boyfriends, and even Eric Chamberlain looks good compared to the Anthony Caine of today’s strip.

I cannot help but wonder why Lynn Johnston has chosen to portray Anthony Caine as so passive. This is the same guy that steamed up car windows with kissing sessions with Liz, back when they were in high school together. Now he is at the point where:

a. Liz is home in Milborough for over a year and he hasn’t asked her even once for a date. She has to ask him.
b. Julia has to browbeat him at the Shawna-Marie Verano wedding to ask Liz for a dance.
c. In today’s For Better or For Worse, the guy cannot even bring himself to talk about marriage. He uses euphemisms like “where we’re going” and “where this will lead.”
d. Warren Blackwood has to show an interest in Liz in order to stir him into proposal action.

Based on how these two look in the strip, here is how I would redialogue it:

Panel 1:
Elizabeth: We made it to your house. Now tell me what the doctor said.
Anthony: I can’t believe it! It’s not fair.

Panel 2:

Anthony: The doctor said I had 6 months to live.
Elizabeth: 6 months. That isn’t too bad. We can make it until September.
.
Panel 3:
Anthony: The side effect of the disease is that I can never close my mouth again.
Elizabeth: Does your tongue still work?

Panel 4:
Anthony: I think so. Why do you ask?
Elizabeth: No reason. I was just thinking of something that tongues can do.

18 Comments:

Blogger April Patterson said...

What's with these two? A couple of cold fish. And who segues into marriage talk by bringing up taking things slowly and avoiding divorce? The heck?

[Psst, I think you called "Liz" "Lynn" again]

3:58 AM  
Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

howtheduck:

I can't help but notice how off-putting their physical and emotional distance is. Does Lynn truly believe this is what people want to see? They look more like two strangers at the airport about to have their cavities searched by DHS than two people about to get engaged.

4:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

They don't even make eye contact.

Anon NYC

4:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yet another episode of Slouching Towards the Altar.

For the record, when I proposed to my then-girlfriend, we'd already discussed marriage as something we wanted to do. And we went out to a nice dinner, then I took her to a bench by the Charles River where we sat on our second date and popped the question there. It was actually romantic. I'm sure most of the married folk here have similar stories.

This, on the other hand, is the most vapid, bloodless lead-up to a proposal I've ever seen. The only thing that could salvage this storyline and make it interesting is if Lizard says no, and not in an "I just want to take things slow so Lynn can string along the Coffee Talkers for a few more months" sense. Won't happen, though, because then it wouldn't fulfill the Kool Aid Set's dreams of the blandest betrothal in the history of history.

Bonus Appropriate Word Verification String: aglgawd, which as it turns out is a phonetic representation of the sound I make whenever I read a Lizthony strip.

6:33 AM  
Blogger howard said...

aprilp_katje,

[Psst, I think you called "Liz" "Lynn" again]

That I did. Curse those names and their similarity. Thank you continuity goddess for your vigilance.

6:55 AM  
Blogger howard said...

dreadedcandiru2,

They look more like two strangers at the airport about to have their cavities searched by DHS than two people about to get engaged.

I agree. I am completely dumbfounded by this. At least when they did the ballet moves at the wedding, as silly as they were, you got the feeling that Lynn was trying to show romance. This scene could have been taken out of a Funky Winkerbean cancer drama.

6:56 AM  
Blogger howard said...

Anon NYC

They don't even make eye contact.

Yes, they are taking it so slow, even their pupils are moving slowly.

6:56 AM  
Blogger howard said...

dlauthor,

For the record, when I proposed to my then-girlfriend, we'd already discussed marriage as something we wanted to do.
Absolutely the right way to go. I have never understood men who would propose without ever having broached the subject before, and I have rarely heard of them being successful. For me, I had no intention of officially proposing until I was pretty sure I was going to get a "Yes" response, if for reasons of the expense of the ring and the planning that it takes to make the event come out right. My girlfriend (now wife) picked out her engagement ring, so I was pretty sure she wanted to get married, and the only question really was when I was going to pop the question and how I was going to do it, not "if". I had the "ask the father first" conversation, which irritated my older sister to no end ("like she's your property"); but it made a big difference with her father. We haven't seen any of this kind of stuff with Anthony, and the way he is treating this is like, "Well, Warren stopped by, so I guess I have to propose to you."

It was actually romantic. I'm sure most of the married folk here have similar stories.

I spent months planning for the appropriate day, time, and with loads of symbolism that would help make the moment significant (mainly for me). My wife was so excited about getting the ring, that most of that symbolic stuff went completely over her head, until I pointed it out to her later after she calmed down (which I think was a few months later).

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You nailed it with your rewritten dialogue.

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not surprised that you accidentally call Liz "Lynn". Liz acts like a 60-something woman who has no idea what a romantic passionate relationship is like--and I get the feeling Lynn is like that exactly.

Yep, this is definitely a marriage of convenience. Checklists are congruent, therefore they will get married. Totally devoid of emotion--shoot, I never saw any indication that they were even "friends" as Liz kept insisting.

And these two keep acting as though they just met on a blind date and still trying to figure out if they should hold hands. Come on; their entire body language since Liz's return has been terribly "off" for two supposed lovers. At this point in any relationship, they should have a difficult time keeping their hands off of each other. The dance of the flower bushes seemed simply stilted. Compare this to the strips with Paul leading to the "If this is love.." strip.

9:01 AM  
Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

howtheduck:

This scene could have been taken out of a Funky Winkerbean cancer drama.

That is correct. Anthony is at least as stunted emotionally and socially as Les Moore is. I can see him using the phrase "solo car date" and not be ironic.

9:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blandthony, just propose already. Pattersons don't divorce. They just stay locked in loveless marriages forever--which is your fantasy scenario.

9:27 AM  
Blogger howard said...

James

You nailed it with your rewritten dialogue.

Thanks.

2:36 PM  
Blogger howard said...

debjyn

I'm not surprised that you accidentally call Liz "Lynn". Liz acts like a 60-something woman who has no idea what a romantic passionate relationship is like--and I get the feeling Lynn is like that exactly.

Actually the problem is that when I start typing too quickly, I will absent-mindedly type in letter sequences similar to the word I actually intended to type. The “capital L followed by i” pushes my right hand in a similar pattern as “capital L followed by y”.

Checklists are congruent, therefore they will get married. Totally devoid of emotion--shoot, I never saw any indication that they were even "friends" as Liz kept insisting.

The checklist was taken directly from Rod and Lynn’s romance, as also was the wedding date, according to one of her interviews. I wonder if Rod proposed to Lynn in this same “Oh well, I guess I better propose” kind of way.

At this point in any relationship, they should have a difficult time keeping their hands off of each other.

I agree with this completely. It is almost like the two of them come from strict religious or moral backgrounds, or it is an arranged marriage and not two persons who have known each other since they were 12 years old.

2:38 PM  
Blogger howard said...

DreadedCandiru2

Anthony is at least as stunted emotionally and socially as Les Moore is.

The difference for me is that I like the character of Les Moore.

2:38 PM  
Blogger howard said...

qnjones

Blandthony, just propose already.

Friday is the day, in case you haven’t heard.

2:39 PM  
Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

howtheduck:

I like Les myself. It would never occur to him to blame other people for his problems. To him, the world is filled with people who do the best they can and his misfortunes just sort of happen.

3:20 PM  
Blogger howard said...

dreadedcandiru2,

As opposed to FBorFW where the world is filled with people who do the worst they can and their good fortunes just sort of happen.

4:39 PM  

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