Old Relatives
My dad and step-mom are visiting this weekend, so my daily participation will be down this weekend. Nevertheless, I have a story which goes along with today’s For Better or For Worse.
My grandparents established a tradition of taking each of their grandchildren on trips outside the country, which my father has decided to emulate with his grandchildren (my sister’s and my kids). I was recounting to my father today, a story about the trip I took to Turkey with my grandparents back in 1977, and my difficulties in getting my ancient, feeble grandparents across Istanbul streets which, at the time, had no such things as crosswalks or a forgiving traffic flow. My father countered with, “How old were they?” So, I thought about it and figured my grandfather’s age to have been 69 at the time. My father then reminded me that he will be turning 69 this year. Naturally, at 45 I don’t consider my dad to be ancient; but when I was 14, I definitely considered my grandfather to be ancient. It was interesting to be reminded of the difference in perspective even in myself.
What I found interesting in today’s strip is how defensive John Patterson gets when April refers to the time of his youth as old. I would think there has to be some point at which John would admit to himself that he is old. After all, his wife is retired and he is considering retirement. He is a grandparent and his youngest child is 16 years old. It shows an odd vanity for John Patterson to think of himself as young, given the circumstances. It does however, give credence to the some of the rumoured behavior of John’s real-life counterpart.
My grandparents established a tradition of taking each of their grandchildren on trips outside the country, which my father has decided to emulate with his grandchildren (my sister’s and my kids). I was recounting to my father today, a story about the trip I took to Turkey with my grandparents back in 1977, and my difficulties in getting my ancient, feeble grandparents across Istanbul streets which, at the time, had no such things as crosswalks or a forgiving traffic flow. My father countered with, “How old were they?” So, I thought about it and figured my grandfather’s age to have been 69 at the time. My father then reminded me that he will be turning 69 this year. Naturally, at 45 I don’t consider my dad to be ancient; but when I was 14, I definitely considered my grandfather to be ancient. It was interesting to be reminded of the difference in perspective even in myself.
What I found interesting in today’s strip is how defensive John Patterson gets when April refers to the time of his youth as old. I would think there has to be some point at which John would admit to himself that he is old. After all, his wife is retired and he is considering retirement. He is a grandparent and his youngest child is 16 years old. It shows an odd vanity for John Patterson to think of himself as young, given the circumstances. It does however, give credence to the some of the rumoured behavior of John’s real-life counterpart.
posted by howard at 10:39 PM
6 Comments:
That could explain his panic a few weeks back, couldn't it? There was Elly thinking to herself that maybe he had the right idea feeling comfortable with who he was and there he is worried all of a sudden that, without even noticing it, he'd changed from "middle aged" to "old". This could be because he, like his wife, associates being old with being sick and weak. Since he's in reasonably good shape and feels good about himself, he simply can't be old.
Howard, from what I've seen, the baby boomers do not like to be told by members of younger generations that they are old (or getting there). In general, they don't seem to take it well. Even my mild-mannered mother can get loud and defensive about any comment that seems to place her in the "old" category.
I also think that, in general, people do not consider themselves "old" until their parents die and they are the oldest living generation in the family. My father has cousins who are in their 70s, but they were the "kids" until recently because they were taking care of my 95 year old great uncle. Elly and John, somewhat oddly, still have 3 of 4 parents living. I think that is a pretty firm buffer against feeling "old."
Of course, they are in their 50s, and that is not particularly old anyway. I personally don't call anyone under 60 "old."
qnjones, continuing from yesterday,
I think equating men with dogs and children that need to be trained does them a grave disservice. I can't imagine that any man could read these comments without being insulted.
My comment was meant to be somewhat amusing (oh well), but the underlining message is serious. I have never chased my husband or kids with rolled up newspapers. I have, however, insisted that they call and visit their grandparents on a regular basis--and they do. From my limited observations, I conclude that women are far more concerned about the welfare of their parents. A woman who is attentive to her parents might be labeled as a “wonderful daughter,” and the son a “mama’s boy.”
My mother’s friend (divorced and remarried) visited us shortly after my wedding. The three of us were seated in the kitchen taking about this and that. At one point the friend turned to me and said: “…. And the success of the marriage depends on the wife.” That remark really upset my mother. The friend looked at my mother and added, “I’m talking to the wife now.”
Anon NYC
DreadedCandiru2
Since he's in reasonably good shape and feels good about himself, he simply can't be old.
Maybe he should reconsider that, after Merrie got him winded doing doll house repair.
qnjones,
Howard, from what I've seen, the baby boomers do not like to be told by members of younger generations that they are old (or getting there).
Oh that’s true, and it goes for being called middle-aged, too. My step-brother is in his young 30s, and when I got to 30, I said to him, “Congratulations on being middle-aged.” He didn’t take it well. However, I explained to him that the lifespan of the average American male is 72 years old and ½ that is 36 and therefore the 30s are the decade of being middle-aged. That explanation didn’t help much, because his generation is the generation where people marry and have kids, on average, quite a bit later than their predecessor generations, so he still thinks of himself as a young single guy.
I also think that, in general, people do not consider themselves "old" until their parents die and they are the oldest living generation in the family.
I know some people like this also. My wife’s step-brother’s wife’s mother has multiple grandchildren but gets upset when any of them call her grandma, for example. I would probably have the same comment for them as I did for John in my Blog entry. I am 45, I have grey in my hair and my facial hair, and I work with some people whose parents are my age. So, I take great delight in referring to myself as an old geezer, even though my parents are still alive. I’m just odd that way.
Anon NYC
My comment was meant to be somewhat amusing (oh well), but the underlining message is serious. I have never chased my husband or kids with rolled up newspapers.
Then you have missed out. There’s nothing like a rolled-up newspaper popped lightly across a kids’ noggin to get him or her moving, and it is especially fun to chase them around the room while you do it. My wife, on the hand, does not take to my methods, despite my eager encouragement.
A woman who is attentive to her parents might be labeled as a “wonderful daughter,” and the son a “mama’s boy.”
Not in my family. A son attentive to his parents outranks in prestige a daughter who is attentive to her parents. However, to your point, there is an expectation that a daughter will be naturally attentive to her parents, and daughters who are not, are the lowest of the low, as far as that stuff goes.
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