Tuesday, September 08, 2009

What is that? A Video on How You Should Visit Your Elder Parents

Lynn has written a new blog entry for the first time since July. I will repeat and then comment on the text.

Kate I went to see Anna H. yesterday. She's 87 and was a great friend of Ruth's.

Ruth is Ruth Johnston, Rod Johnston’s mother and Kate’s grandmother. I remember Lynn’s interview with Caring Today, where she talked about Ruth’s stroke, and indirectly stated that she preferred being around Ruth’s husband, Tom; because he didn’t complain about his illness. In other words, Ruth did complain, and Lynn doesn't like complainers. It’s interesting that Kate would want to see Anna H. Given that Anna H. was Ruth’s friend, I have the feeling that Kate had a better relationship with her grandmother than Lynn did, in order to get this association with one of her friends.

Katie had promised to give her some lupin seeds and had shelled a bowlful for her. I called, thinking she was surely busy with her family on a holiday weekend, but she was alone at home and so glad for the company.

The overall theme of this is going to be that Anna H. is not getting the attention she deserves from her family, which is going to be what Lynn took away from the film “What is that?” The film really beats you over the head that you need to treat people with kindness, even when they do something that is irritating. Given Lynn’s opinion in the Caring Today article about she gets irritated by old people who complain, I can see why she might miss this point.

We stayed for tea and as we were leaving, she hugged us both and said she had lived far too long. She later called me to thank me again for the roses I brought and said that it must have been hard for us to visit an old person! I was stunned. I guess she has a good relationship with her daughters, but they have their own lives and Anna is very undemanding.

Back to her theme. Anna is glad Lynn came by to visit, but Lynn has it in her head that the reason must because Anna’s daughters are inattentive. I remember visiting with people in rest homes with my kids, and they liked visitors, even if their children were attentive. However, notice Lynn’s caveat. “Anna is very undemanding.” In other words, Anna H. is an old person worthy of being visited. She is not a complainer.

She has lost 2 sons and her husband and many of her good friends have gone...and I guess she spends a lot of time alone. I had no idea. She is bright and kind and wise and I'm going to see her much more often. I DO enjoy visiting with "old people"- as does Kate, surprisingly. It was her idea to go and visit Anna.

The idea that Anna H. spends a lot of time alone is foreign to Lynn. The idea that Anna H would be bright and kind and wise is foreign to Lynn also. Lynn is even surprised that Kate would want to visit an old person. Lynn needs to get out more often. From the way she has written this, it appears that Lynn has never visited Anna H. before, and was doing it this time, only because Kate was doing it. “More often” is a promise to Anna H. Lynn can easily fulfill.

After all...I'm on my way to being an old person, and Anna is another friend who is giving this part of the journey all she has to give, without complaint and without reliance on anyone else- if possible. It's people like Anna who are teaching me "how to do it"!!

So, back to the theme presented by Lynn in Caring Today. “without complaint, without reliance on anyone else.” Anna H. is showing Lynn the way to be an ideal old person. I just hope Anna H doesn't get sick and need help from other people, then she can kiss those Lynn Johnston visits goodbye.

Anyway, the video reminded me that it's so important to include our elders whenever we can, to learn from them, to cherish them and to keep making memories with them- because, there will come a day when that's all we have.

And back to Lynn’s theme she got from this video: Don’t ignore your elder parents, folks. You'll regret it when they are dead. Are you getting that hint, Aaron Johnston?

4 Comments:

Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

The film really beats you over the head that you need to treat people with kindness, even when they do something that is irritating. Given Lynn’s opinion in the Caring Today article about she gets irritated by old people who complain, I can see why she might miss this point.

Same here; Lynn's lack of patience with other people's problems would tend to blind her to the real meaning of the film.

Anna is glad Lynn came by to visit, but Lynn has it in her head that the reason must because Anna’s daughters are inattentive. I remember visiting with people in rest homes with my kids, and they liked visitors, even if their children were attentive. However, notice Lynn’s caveat. “Anna is very undemanding.” In other words, Anna H. is an old person worthy of being visited. She is not a complainer.


As I said in the entry I put up, Lynn is fairly oblivious and lacks curiosity; that means that there's no way that she can see that the attentiveness of Anna's daughters is not the issue. Since they aren't physically there, their love for their mother means mothing at all to Lynn.

The idea that Anna H. spends a lot of time alone is foreign to Lynn. The idea that Anna H would be bright and kind and wise is foreign to Lynn also. Lynn is even surprised that Kate would want to visit an old person. Lynn needs to get out more often.

That's true; the lack of real-world experience Lynn has shows through in her substandard story telling. As I keep saying, she can reproduce things she sees but she cannot figure out why they happen.

And back to Lynn’s theme she got from this video: Don’t ignore your elder parents, folks. You'll regret it when they are dead. Are you getting that hint, Aaron Johnston?

It doesn't matter to her in the least that her toxic personality repels him; he has to fawn over her and thank her for retrieving him from the snow bank she threw him in out of spite and frustration.

4:06 PM  
Blogger howard said...

...he has to fawn over her and thank her for retrieving him from the snow bank she threw him in out of spite and frustration.

There are those of us who doubt that the snow bank throwing story ever happened. When Lynn told that story she talked about little Aaron plaintively beating on the door of the house to be let in, and all kinds of other pitiful, "I'm just making this up" kind of garbage, typical for Lynn Johnston in her interviews.

4:58 AM  
Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

howard,

When Lynn told that story she talked about little Aaron plaintively beating on the door of the house to be let in, and all kinds of other pitiful, "I'm just making this up" kind of garbage, typical for Lynn Johnston in her interviews.

I should have seen that; I don't know why I keep giving someone I know to be a master deceiver and manipulator the benefit of the doubt. I guess part of me still pays obeisance to the habit of mind called chivalry.

6:37 AM  
Blogger howard said...

dreadedcandiru2,

I have been broken of that habit when it comes to Lynn Johnston interviews. Now I examine what she says to see if any part of it is true.

3:59 PM  

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