Thursday, January 22, 2009

Sick Kid, Sicker Parent

I remember my wedding anniversary in 1998. My wife and I were unable to find a babysitter to handle our kids for us; so decided to celebrate by going out to a nice restaurant with the kids. While were there, my daughter started to get very clingy. She wanted me to hold her close; because she did not feel good. So I did. Then my daughter drenched my back with vomit. She felt a lot better after that, and my wife had a great laugh. In fact, whenever we recall that anniversary, she still thinks it’s funny. I consider the moment to be a parental badge of honour.

So, when I saw today’s new-run in For Better or For Worse, I wonder about old Elly Patterson. The Pattersons seem to have issues with hugging children in need. I remember back in the October 1, 2006 strip, where Meredith gets her hand slammed in a door and Michael just sits there and waits for her to start crying until he reaches out to her. If you wonder where Michael got that, just look at today’s story, where Elly doesn’t reach out to comfort Michael until he cries. In today’s story, the joke is supposed to be that germaphobe Elly learns that comforting her child is more important than issuing her lecture on how not to spread communicable diseases. It’s kind of hard to believe she’s been a parent for 5 years, when she keeps acting like she’s a maiden aunt who’s never taken care of a kid before. This is the reason why this strip doesn’t work. If this were Uncle Phil instead of Elly, then it would be a case of Phil learning to care for a sick child. Since this is Elly, mother of two, mom for over 5 years and a person who considers herself to be a better mom than her neighbours; the story just makes me wonder what is wrong with her.

Here I am in the same situation:

My kid: Mom, I don’t feel very well. I think I got a fever.

Me: {Put my hand to my kid’s head}. You’re hot. Why don’t you lie down and I’ll get you some medicine.

My snarking self: Hey Michael! How can you possibly say, “I don’t feel very well” instead of “I don’t feel good” and then follow that up with “I think I got a fever” instead of “I think I have a fever” or better yet “I’m hot”? With these kind of language skills, it’s no wonder your mother can’t get the truth about your fight with Lawrence out of you. She’s too confused by your mixture of dialogue from Dennis the Menace and Little Lord Fauntleroy. Hey Elly! Your kid just has a cold. You don’t have to act like you are trying to cover up a scandal. Kids get sick, eh? Even your kids.

8 Comments:

Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

howard,

It’s kind of hard to believe she’s been a parent for 5 years, when she keeps acting like she’s a maiden aunt who’s never taken care of a kid before. This is the reason why this strip doesn’t work. If this were Uncle Phil instead of Elly, then it would be a case of Phil learning to care for a sick child. Since this is Elly, mother of two, mom for over 5 years and a person who considers herself to be a better mom than her neighbours; the story just makes me wonder what is wrong with her.

Her yelling "Oh, no! I have more work" instead of saying "Oh, no! What can Mommy do to make it better?" kind of makes it easy to see what her major malfunction is. It's not about how crappy Mike feels, not at first. It's about how it affects her. She thinks that if her kids are sick, Big Brother will storm in, take them away and ship her off the the Canadian equivalent of Gitmo to be waterboarded. That's why she cleans in a frenzy too. She has no real empathy for those around her and lives and dies by the opinion of people who don't know or care who she is.

2:43 AM  
Blogger April Patterson said...

It’s kind of hard to believe she’s been a parent for 5 years, when she keeps acting like she’s a maiden aunt who’s never taken care of a kid before.

I know--she's practically handling him with thongs (not the underwear or footwear--the other kind).

How is it not her first instinct to comfort him?

Also, I noticed Elly using that construction you've pointed out before: "Don't go ____ing."

3:42 AM  
Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

April_Patterson,

I know--she's practically handling him with thongs (not the underwear or footwear--the other kind).

How is it not her first instinct to comfort him?


The reason she's handling him with tongs and not comforting him from the get-go is that she has a damned hard time seeing other people's problems as real unless they somehow affect her. She's far more worried about how workl she's got ahead of her than an irrelevant thing like his discomfort. No wonder he grew up so distant.

6:20 AM  
Blogger InsertMonikerHere said...

I don't have kids, but I know people with kids and remember something about being a kid myself.

I've seen adults warn other (elderly/ vulnerable) adults that a child is sick, so to be a bit careful. Also seen sick adults being limited in their contact with young children (no kissing, say).

I've never seen a child being told *they're* the problem and *they* have to stay away from others.

One theme I've seen more and more of as the strip went downhill was kids being expected to be little adults. Meredith and Robin being told they couldn't play like little kids, and given no constructive alternatives so they seemed expected to sit staring into space until the adults were ready. That "hurt hand" strip even has it a bit: an adult hurts their hand, you can wait and see if they yelp for help - but a kid needs reassurance and comfort even if the hurt wasn't all that bad! Now we have Mike being expected to be responsible about germs at the expense of his own comfort - at the age of 6.

The original run had some sweetness in the slices of life. The kids were usually treated as kids. These interpolations are wrecking the story just as much as the omission of the "better" in favour of reprinting the "worse"

6:59 AM  
Blogger howard said...

DreadedCandiru2

Her yelling "Oh, no! I have more work" instead of saying "Oh, no! What can Mommy do to make it better?" kind of makes it easy to see what her major malfunction is.

That could well be it. If Michael is sick it is X amount of labour, but if Michael and Lizzie are sick then it is 2X amount of labour. Ergo, the important part is to keep Mike from getting anyone else sick as a form of labour reduction.

9:11 AM  
Blogger howard said...

aprilp_katje,

How is it not her first instinct to comfort him?

Exactly. What it brings to mind are all those comedies where some hapless bachelor is dealing with changing a diaper for the first time. She seems to be so startled by the idea she has to deal with a sick kid, she acts like she has never done it before.

Also, I noticed Elly using that construction you've pointed out before: "Don't go ____ing."

Good catch. This must be something that Lynn Johnston does in real life, it occurs so often in the strip.

9:12 AM  
Blogger howard said...

InsertMonikerHere,

Meredith and Robin being told they couldn't play like little kids, and given no constructive alternatives so they seemed expected to sit staring into space until the adults were ready.

Meredith and Robin. Or Françoise sent off to play in the playground by herself. Or the life of April Patterson, who is such an adult she kicks away her band and her boyfriend in pursuit of academic study.

Now we have Mike being expected to be responsible about germs at the expense of his own comfort - at the age of 6.

Age 5, actually, but still no better.

These interpolations are wrecking the story just as much as the omission of the "better" in favour of reprinting the "worse"

It’s especially interesting given that the same person created both works. One of them has kids around to copy for her strip and the other one puts her own voice into everything. It’s kid-like kids vs. 60-year-old kids. It’s jarring when you move from one of these to the other.

9:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

April Patterson: That's "tongs," not "thongs."

I just don't want you to go to a salad bar, look for something to pick up the lettuce with, and call out "Hey, where are the thongs?".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongs

5:55 PM  

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