Flawless with Flaws
In today’s For Better or For Worse, what appears to be a loving moment between John and Elly Patterson, on closer inspection appears to be the 2 characters swapping insults. The premise of the idea is one of unconditional love. Elly loves John, even though he is not perfect. John marries Elly despite her flaws. There are a lot of kinder ways to say this. Aside from the last panel, the pictures make it seem like the characters are happy with each other.
However, the dialogue tells a different story.
Elly: Don’t be so sensitive. I wasn’t looking for perfection when I married you…I was looking for love!
Translated this means: Don’t be such a crybaby! I knew you weren’t perfect when I married you.
How it could be better: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you upset, John. I love you just like you are and that’s what’s important.
John: Right! And I married you because I knew it would last…despite your flaws…
Translated this means: As if I believe that! That’s like me saying I married you because I knew you would never ask for a divorce…
How it could be better: I’m sorry, too. You’re such a forgiving woman, Elly. I knew when I married you, you were a woman I could be with forever.
Elly: What flaws?
Translated this means: I am perfect. How dare you question my perfection!
How it could be better: Then why did you bring up me remarrying in the first place, if you thought we would be together forever?
I hope by comparison, I have made my point. John and Elly don’t tell each other they love each other. The dialogue has them politely insulting each other, and then Elly screams at John after he leaves, when she realizes she has been insulted. Even in the old days, there was quite a bit of hate between John and Elly.
However, the dialogue tells a different story.
Elly: Don’t be so sensitive. I wasn’t looking for perfection when I married you…I was looking for love!
Translated this means: Don’t be such a crybaby! I knew you weren’t perfect when I married you.
How it could be better: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you upset, John. I love you just like you are and that’s what’s important.
John: Right! And I married you because I knew it would last…despite your flaws…
Translated this means: As if I believe that! That’s like me saying I married you because I knew you would never ask for a divorce…
How it could be better: I’m sorry, too. You’re such a forgiving woman, Elly. I knew when I married you, you were a woman I could be with forever.
Elly: What flaws?
Translated this means: I am perfect. How dare you question my perfection!
How it could be better: Then why did you bring up me remarrying in the first place, if you thought we would be together forever?
I hope by comparison, I have made my point. John and Elly don’t tell each other they love each other. The dialogue has them politely insulting each other, and then Elly screams at John after he leaves, when she realizes she has been insulted. Even in the old days, there was quite a bit of hate between John and Elly.
posted by howard at 8:42 PM
11 Comments:
howard,
John and Elly don’t tell each other they love each other. The dialogue has them politely insulting each other, and then Elly screams at John after he leaves, when she realizes she has been insulted. Even in the old days, there was quite a bit of hate between John and Elly.
The hatred stems from disappointment, I'd say. Elly's upset that he isn't as pliable as she's hopes and John is upest because he discovered the personality of the woman attached to the assets that originally attracted him to her. That's what he gets for making looks all-important while not caring about what's really useful to know.
Wow. John's very plan was to marry a deeply flawed woman and then live together in everlasting hell on earth? Well, at least his goal was realistic.
DreadedCandiru2,
That's what he gets for making looks all-important while not caring about what's really useful to know.
You think it was looks? With Elly? I suspect she appealed to a whole different part of his body.
qnjones,
John's very plan was to marry a deeply flawed woman and then live together in everlasting hell on earth? Well, at least his goal was realistic.
Why isn’t that every man’s aspiration when he marries? Not love. Not sex. Not a common background and similar goals. Every man wants a woman who can and will commit to him forever.
howard,
You think it was looks? With Elly? I suspect she appealed to a whole different part of his body.
That reminds me of when Gilbert Gottfried was on Night Court. He'd sized up a potential mate by saying "Sturdy lass; she'll make a good breeder."
qnjones,
Wow. John's very plan was to marry a deeply flawed woman and then live together in everlasting hell on earth? Well, at least his goal was realistic.
It gets worse; April is punished for ruining Elly's life by being denied this Utopia. Because she insisted on being a child when Elly wanted her to be grown up enough to get out of her hair, she has to suffer the cruel indignity of happiness and fulfillment.
dreadedcandiru2,
That reminds me of when Gilbert Gottfried was on Night Court. He'd sized up a potential mate by saying "Sturdy lass; she'll make a good breeder."
Gilbert Gottfried. There you go. If they ever make a live-action For Better or For Worse, he can play John.
First and foremost, couples have to treat relationships as a business venture, remember?
To Lynn, all you need is to get along, go through a checklist, etc. Nope.
Maybe Lynn was being very concrete when she titled one of her collections "Love Just Screws Everything Up". She didn't mention "love" as being one reason she thought Rod would hang around, either.
debjyn,
Maybe Lynn was being very concrete when she titled one of her collections "Love Just Screws Everything Up". She didn't mention "love" as being one reason she thought Rod would hang around, either.
That is very true. That word was conspicuously absent. The complaint was about the loss of shared memories, as if her husband was like a photo album of sorts.
We made jokes about the lack of the "love" word with Elizabeth and Anthony in the strip, but that was just a reflection of the strip's creator. Long ago Elly remembered that love was important, but modern Lynn has forgotten it.
Actually, I don't have a problem if people go out and contract marriages for reasons other than love. It has worked pretty well for a lot of folks over the centuries.
What I object to is portraying a marriage that is totally devoid of love and/or affection, yet treating said marriage as if it is in fact a story about true love and passion. Liz and Anthony had no love or passion for one another. John and Elly seem never to have had that, although there are occasional half-hearted attempts to play pretend.
If Lynn wants to argue that love and sex are not what is important, great! State a straightforward case. But don't be a weasel and try to sell us the absurd idea that these folks represent great love matches.
qnjones,
If Lynn wants to argue that love and sex are not what is important, great! State a straightforward case. But don't be a weasel and try to sell us the absurd idea that these folks represent great love matches.
A lot of times I got the impression that the idea of a contract marriage was very much in Lynn’s mind when it came to Liz and Anthony. The line from her monthly letter was, “When I say "yes", it'll be because I know it's going to be a working, long-term partnership. The ceremony is secondary. Security and commitment come first!”
When Lynn had Paul Wright or Warren Blackwood leaping around proclaiming their love for Liz, I often thought she was trying to make them look ridiculous. Of course, she had Mike do the same thing with Deanna, so either there was a mixed message, or she meant Mike to be ridiculous too.
With Anthony Caine, his perspective always seemed to be based on the idea that Elizabeth would be the woman Thérèse was not. It was almost as if wanted a wife for a particular job and Thérèse refused to do it. He never professed his love in his dating, his proposal, or his wedding with Elizabeth. He professed, “I have no home!”
After Lynn wrote her letter to her readers saying was not doing “love” with Liz and Anthony for fear of people protesting she was putting too much treacle into it. Elizabeth eventually talked love 2 times about Anthony, but he never returned the sentiment. You see the same thing between John and Elly in this strip. Elly talks love, but John talks long term commitment. So, to suggest Elly had flaws, was the same as claiming she was in violation of her contract.
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