Gordon’s Gift
I have been making jokes about the off-hand manner in which Elizabeth Patterson has been letting everyone run her wedding for her, and you don’t get much more proof than today’s For Better or For Worse. April has to let Elizabeth know, on her wedding day, just shortly before she is about to go to the ceremony that Gordon Mayes has decided to usurp the limo already planned with 6 limousines of his own. I don't think I have ever seen a bride more out-of-touch with what is going on in her wedding, except for those brides who are kidnapped, drugged, and forced to marry against their will. Now that I think about it, that analogy works for this wedding.
As for Gordon Mayes, I can imagine the following dialogue occurring:
Elly Patterson: Well Gordon, Lawrence Poirier provided all the flowers for free as a gift and he even kissed up to Michael. Are you going to going to let Lawrence outdo you, Gordon?
Gordon Mayes: I thought my wife Tracey would throw a nice bridal shower for Elizabeth, so people could get her some things on her registry.
Elly Patterson: Registry? Bridal showers?! After all we have done for you, that’s what you come up with?
Gordon Mayes: That’s what people traditionally do for weddings.
Elly Patterson: Maybe in the shack you grew up in, that’s what your alcoholic father told you, when he was liquored up and beating you every day, but here in Milborough what you do is pay for part of the wedding.
Gordon Mayes: This is all because of that Mira Sobinski thing isn’t it? She paid all that money for Mike and Deanna’s wedding, and you are stuck trying to find some way to show how she was wrong and you are right and you still get the expensive wedding.
Elly Patterson: Mira Sobinski is not going to have a better wedding for her daughter than I will have for mine, if I have to threaten and cajole everyone in Milborough.
Gordon Mayes: OK. I’ll pay for the limousine.
Elly Patterson: And the driver.
Gordon Mayes: When you rent a limousine, you get a driver.
Elly Patterson: And they need to pick us up at our homes.
Gordon Mayes: Why would they pick you up any other place? It’s not like you go to a bus station for a limousine.
Elly Patterson: And I want 6 limousines.
Gordon Mayes: 6 limousines? Why 6?
Elly Patterson: One stretch limo for the bridal party and then the next 5 for family.
Gordon Mayes: You don’t have that much family. Oh good grief. You and John can ride in the same car.
Elly Patterson: No we can’t. We need one for Connie and me. One for John. One for Grandpa Jim and Iris. One for Connie’s family. One for the dogs. One for Grandma Marian’s ghost.
Gordon Mayes: OK. Anything else?
Elly Patterson: Tell me I’m wonderful.
Gordon Mayes: You’re wonderful.
Elly Patterson: You know that's not enough.
Gordon Mayes: I wouldn’t be in the position I am in now, had it not been for your belief in me. You are the best mother-of-the-bride that ever existed in Milborough. You are a landmark. 6 limousines is the least I can do for Elizabeth on her wedding day. Should I tell her about my gift or should you?
Elly Patterson: Oh, let April do it. I need you to tell me some more how wonderful I am.
Gordon Mayes: What if Elizabeth wants to say "Thank You"?
Elly Patterson: If Lawrence Poirier didn't get a "Thank You" for those flowers, what makes you think you will? Now then. Just how wonderful am I again?
As for Gordon Mayes, I can imagine the following dialogue occurring:
Elly Patterson: Well Gordon, Lawrence Poirier provided all the flowers for free as a gift and he even kissed up to Michael. Are you going to going to let Lawrence outdo you, Gordon?
Gordon Mayes: I thought my wife Tracey would throw a nice bridal shower for Elizabeth, so people could get her some things on her registry.
Elly Patterson: Registry? Bridal showers?! After all we have done for you, that’s what you come up with?
Gordon Mayes: That’s what people traditionally do for weddings.
Elly Patterson: Maybe in the shack you grew up in, that’s what your alcoholic father told you, when he was liquored up and beating you every day, but here in Milborough what you do is pay for part of the wedding.
Gordon Mayes: This is all because of that Mira Sobinski thing isn’t it? She paid all that money for Mike and Deanna’s wedding, and you are stuck trying to find some way to show how she was wrong and you are right and you still get the expensive wedding.
Elly Patterson: Mira Sobinski is not going to have a better wedding for her daughter than I will have for mine, if I have to threaten and cajole everyone in Milborough.
Gordon Mayes: OK. I’ll pay for the limousine.
Elly Patterson: And the driver.
Gordon Mayes: When you rent a limousine, you get a driver.
Elly Patterson: And they need to pick us up at our homes.
Gordon Mayes: Why would they pick you up any other place? It’s not like you go to a bus station for a limousine.
Elly Patterson: And I want 6 limousines.
Gordon Mayes: 6 limousines? Why 6?
Elly Patterson: One stretch limo for the bridal party and then the next 5 for family.
Gordon Mayes: You don’t have that much family. Oh good grief. You and John can ride in the same car.
Elly Patterson: No we can’t. We need one for Connie and me. One for John. One for Grandpa Jim and Iris. One for Connie’s family. One for the dogs. One for Grandma Marian’s ghost.
Gordon Mayes: OK. Anything else?
Elly Patterson: Tell me I’m wonderful.
Gordon Mayes: You’re wonderful.
Elly Patterson: You know that's not enough.
Gordon Mayes: I wouldn’t be in the position I am in now, had it not been for your belief in me. You are the best mother-of-the-bride that ever existed in Milborough. You are a landmark. 6 limousines is the least I can do for Elizabeth on her wedding day. Should I tell her about my gift or should you?
Elly Patterson: Oh, let April do it. I need you to tell me some more how wonderful I am.
Gordon Mayes: What if Elizabeth wants to say "Thank You"?
Elly Patterson: If Lawrence Poirier didn't get a "Thank You" for those flowers, what makes you think you will? Now then. Just how wonderful am I again?
posted by howard at 9:31 PM
29 Comments:
The first panel alone made my jaw drop. You called and I just couldn't believe in something so obvious but I'm a believer now. Your point about Liz's un-involvement is dead on. At this point I think Lynn will end every strip with a horribly crappy pun. I'd like to think that after that conversation between Elly and Gordon he made sure the break lines were cut on on the limos carrying Liz, Anthony, Elly, Connie, and John. And as they careened over the ravine Elly could pun last time "Looks like we've lost control of the horses" as Connie stuck her tongue out one last time. Sigh, one can dream I suppose.
Laughing out loud at your skewering of six limos for the family. John and Elly ride apart, and Grandma Marian's ghost! Seriously, best snark on FOOB I've read in ages. I had the same reaction. They don't have that much family!
Maybe the "big surprise" is that the one free limo they HAD been going to get from Gordon (mentioned in that previous Sunday strip, without mention of the donor) has suddenly been joined by 5 extra free limos.
(Highly unlikely there are no other weddings needing limos on Saturday August 23rd, a prime weekend date at the height of wedding season... So, a sudden free excessive extravagance to the immediate detriment of anyone else in town who was unfortunate to have picked that date AND probably even reserved the limos weeks or months ago...)
But I can't see how the Pattersons (and even Caines) could possibly fill that many limos...
I see Liz's dress now has gone from having the sleeves chopped off, to having spaghetti straps. It no longer looks anything like Marian's dress. Ridiculous. Why did we bother with the crawlspace dress charade at all? Why worry about what Grandpa Jim would think? He's not going to recognize the dress in its mangled/retconned form anyway!
Oh, and the lavender and teal flower girl dress? Hideous.
Note that the flower girl featured in this strip is Meredith Patterson, not Francoise Caine.
Ruth,
And as they careened over the ravine Elly could pun last time "Looks like we've lost control of the horses" as Connie stuck her tongue out one last time. Sigh, one can dream I suppose.
It would be more interesting than the plotline we have, that’s for sure.
qnjones,
Why worry about what Grandpa Jim would think? He's not going to recognize the dress in its mangled/retconned form anyway!
He shouldn’t, but he will.
Note that the flower girl featured in this strip is Meredith Patterson, not Francoise Caine.
This is because the groom is at home with Françoise Caine. It is tradition the groom should not see the bride on his wedding day until she walks down the aisle.
Anonymous,
(Highly unlikely there are no other weddings needing limos on Saturday August 23rd, a prime weekend date at the height of wedding season.
Well, we know that no one would be foolish enough to schedule their wedding at the same time as Elizabeth Patterson, if they wanted anyone to come.
But I can't see how the Pattersons (and even Caines) could possibly fill that many limos...
With any luck, we will find out who is there.
howard,
I don't think I have ever seen a bride more out-of-touch with what is going on in her wedding, except for those brides who are kidnapped, drugged, and forced to marry against their will. Now that I think about it, that analogy works for this wedding.
I'm beginning to think that my fear that the "going after" messed Liz up worse than we thought is justified. This looks less like a dream wedding than the delusions of a madwoman desperately trying to make sense of the world.
OMG, you made my morning. That dialogue was hysterical. Yeah, I think Liz is coming off as drugged.
My five-year-old saw your dialogue and said, "Elly Patterson. Elly Patterson can talk. In Howard Bunt's blog." :)
dreadedcandiru2,
This looks less like a dream wedding than the delusions of a madwoman desperately trying to make sense of the world.
That could make for an interesting ending. Go for the St. Elsewhere finale.
aprilp_katje,
My five-year-old saw your dialogue and said, "Elly Patterson. Elly Patterson can talk. In Howard Bunt's blog." :)
Oooh. Your son reads my blog? That makes my day.
The nausea just keeps coming.
Anonymous says"But I can't see how the Pattersons (and even Caines) could possibly fill that many limos..." –Ellie's butt gets it's own.
Howard says "This is because the groom is at home with Françoise Caine. It is tradition the groom should not see the bride on his wedding day until she walks down the aisle."–But Connie is with Ellie, April is dressing her father & bringing bread and water to her sister, so there is no reason to believe Squiggly C is in the traditional spot. It's equally likely somebody forgot her at the curb at day care.
Also, I did a quick check. Limo rentals in Edmonton are between $100-$400 per hour. We can assume, what, 3 hours all told? So this gift is $1,800-$7,200, at least.
Gee, John, I'm so sorry you have to spend so much on this wedding. Here, let me get you change for your $5. Way to bankrupt your small-town business owners.
This is the best commentary ever! I was laughing so hard over your analysis--and the strip has become so nuts it's incredible.
Why do I picture the Corbeil Crew all sitting around after Lynn's divorce, drinking and devising the stupidest most incredible stories to end FBoFW? And then smiling and saying, "yeah, let's do that".
I really think Lynn and crew are basically sneering at their dedicated readers and laughing at the "devoted" readers letters they still receive at Coffee Talk.
Howard,
In the weddings I've been to, all the females gather together at the church beforehand, regardless of whether they belong to the bride's or groom's side. IRL, Anthony's mother would bring Francoise to the church early. That she isn't here is not because she's Anthony's daughter. It's because she's not a Patterson.
Thursday Next,
Anonymous says"But I can't see how the Pattersons (and even Caines) could possibly fill that many limos..." –Ellie's butt gets it's own.
Funny. However, for the wedding, you may have noticed that Elly’s body has been considerably trimmed and she now has the body Liz had, before her body was also trimmed for the wedding.
But Connie is with Ellie, April is dressing her father & bringing bread and water to her sister, so there is no reason to believe Squiggly C is in the traditional spot. It's equally likely somebody forgot her at the curb at day care.
If the limousines are going to bring everyone from their home to the wedding ceremony, there is also no reason why Francie should be anywhere but at her home. As for Connie, she’s a neighbour who can walk down the street.
debjyn,
This is the best commentary ever! I was laughing so hard over your analysis--and the strip has become so nuts it's incredible.
I knew Lynn Johnston was capable of bringing the worst plotting ever, and she is not disappointing me. Unfortunately, I don’t think she is doing it intentionally. This has been the progression of her writing over a period of time.
qnjones,
In the weddings I've been to, all the females gather together at the church beforehand, regardless of whether they belong to the bride's or groom's side. IRL, Anthony's mother would bring Francoise to the church early.
My wedding was in a church and that's how it happened. But Liz & company are not at a church. It’s an outdoor wedding. The limousines are picking them up at their home, so they are at their home.
howard,
I knew Lynn Johnston was capable of bringing the worst plotting ever, and she is not disappointing me. Unfortunately, I don’t think she is doing it intentionally. This has been the progression of her writing over a period of time.
That's for sure. I'm sure that Lynn thinks her skills have not deteriorated. Why else would her anger at being criticized be laced with confusion?
Howard,
It really doesn't matter where the wedding is held. I have never, ever heard of a wedding where the female wedding party didn't gather ahead of time. This is so the bride and mother of the bride can ensure that everyone's appearance passes muster, flowers can be passed out, etc.
It is clear that April and Liz and Meredith have gathered, even though those people do not live in the same homes. They have three separate homes. Only non-Patterson members of the wedding party are missing. I think the conclusion is obvious.
dreadedcandiru2
That's for sure. I'm sure that Lynn thinks her skills have not deteriorated. Why else would her anger at being criticized be laced with confusion?
Well, there used to be more story in the strip and less in her head.
qnjones
I have never, ever heard of a wedding where the female wedding party didn't gather ahead of time.
I have been a part of only a few outdoor weddings, but what you say is true for that situation in my experience. 2 weddings were in parks I know used a building close to the park for the wedding party gathering. In the FOOBiverse, we have the precedence of the Shawna Marie Verano outdoor wedding, where the bridal party was clearly gathered at another location, which was not someone’s home, and went from there.
This is so the bride and mother of the bride can ensure that everyone's appearance passes muster, flowers can be passed out, etc.
With a normal bride and mother of the bride, sure. With Elly and Elizabeth, no way those 2 disconnected people are going to check anyone’s appearance but their own. After all, Carleen Stein, of all people, is putting the veil on Elizabeth.
It is clear that April and Liz and Meredith have gathered, even though those people do not live in the same homes. They have three separate homes.
They all live within walking distance of each other.
Only non-Patterson members of the wedding party are missing.
Robin is not there. Deanna is not there to manage Robin and Meredith. We haven’t seen Josef Weeder, but if Carleen Stein is there, then he is likely to be there too. Also we haven’t seen Elly and Connie in the same room with Elizabeth, April, and Meredith. There are too many members of the bridal party unseen to draw any conclusions about a missing Francoise.
However, the comment about the limousines says everyone is getting picked up from someone’s home. In my mind, if that is the case, then Francoise is probably still at her home. I can’t see Elly or Elizabeth even the slightest bit concerned about how Francoise looks.
Nobody walks when wearing/carrying formal wear. Making walking distance irrelevant. And we actually don't know that Liz lives very close.
My major point is, though, that it is significant that the flower girl featured in the background isn't Frenchy.
I think that Liz's apartment is close to her school, which is either 16 miles or 16 km away from the Pattermanse.
The presence of flower-girl Merrie without flower-girl Françoise did hit me as conspicuous. Maybe she'll turn up tomorrow, punning with the groom. This whole sequence has been so bizarre so far, it's anyone's guess. o_0
howtheduck, my son likes to see what I've got on my computer. When I'm reading Foobiverse, he enjoys looking at the userpics and reading the subject lines. Sometimes, he reads a little too well, IYKWIM. :)
qnjones,
My major point is, though, that it is significant that the flower girl featured in the background isn't Frenchy.
Are you saying you think that Frenchy has been cut out of the ceremony? Or are you saying that Frenchy will be so far in the back behind taller Meredith and Robin, that all you will see of her is a little wisp of dark, French hair?
aprilp_katje,
I think that Liz's apartment is close to her school, which is either 16 miles or 16 km away from the Pattermanse.
Ha. I remember that 16 mile, km thing.
I can’t tell what to think about Liz’s residence. She has not been shown in her apartment ever since she shoved Warren out the door. In wedding planning mode, she has been at Elly’s house almost exclusively, including when April came back from Lawrence’s with catalogues of flowers.
Then we also had her grocery-shopping trip with Meredith, which implied that Liz had moved to the point with Anthony where she is buying food for his household. Anthony also did his line where he welcomed Liz home.
Lynn Johnston really avoids speaking directly about such things, so that the easily-offended fans have the option of ignoring when Liz and Anthony started sleeping together.
I don’t know where she is living for sure; but there seems to be a good chance she has given up that apartment for some place different. Anthony’s place is the logical choice for her stuff, since that is its ultimate destination; but Liz could be sleeping over with Elly or Deanna, since she has the space.
Here's the thing for me with Squiggly C. I've been to a ton of weddings. Heck, I've even been a flower girl. In all these events, the flower girls, excited and delighted, hung around together, even if they (we) were near strangers. They were always treated as a little team of important, if slightly loose cannon-y members of the wedding party with a job that needed to be clearly delineated. The fact that the veil is going on, that April has arrived to the gathering place, and that Merrie is completely dressed and already in charge of her own flowers means that the hour is pretty nigh.
It's not that Squiggle is going to be written out of the ceremony, it's the question, "How, Lynne, does it look to omit the other flower girl from this moment in the preparations, the actual stepchild-to-be?" It's like Lynne's ego keeps on drawing and writing the strip, but her id keeps making commentary, like, "Train wreck, train wreck-pretend you don't notice."
I think one of two things has happened:
1. Frenchy got cut out of the pre-wedding female bonding because she's not a Patterson and nobody really cares about her.
2. Frenchy is there, but Lynn prefers to show Merrie because Pattersons are more important, even if they are the niece of the bride, instead of the future daughter of the bride.
Either way, Lynn is showing preference/status.
Re: whether Liz is living with Anthony already--I think we did in fact see Liz in her apartment once recently, with April.
qnjones,
The laundry scene where April ended up at Liz's place was last year. If you are referring to this strip, the decor matches Elly's house as shown in this strip.
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