Meredith Diary March 29, 2016

Dear Diary,

Boys are so stupid and I don’t mean Robin, because he can’t help it.   Prom is coming up at R. P. Boire and Ethan asked me like he should.  He put up a big sign in the cafeteria and gave me flowers.  It was so cool.  I love it that my boyfriend is a senior, even though my Auntie April is all about how her friend Becky dated a senior when she was a freshman and she went all roadside.   Her Becky is like Rebeccah, the mega pop star.  If that’s roadside, it looks pretty good.  Anyway, Aunt April is up at Guelph in vet school, so it’s not like I have to hear her lecture me about older boys. 

The problem was Ethan said we should take a ballroom dance class together because his parents have a membership in this class and we can get in for free.  I wouldn’t mind taking the class with Ethan, but you know it’s always way too crowded at school dances to do any dancing like that.   I was just talking about this to Grandma Elly and OMG, I wish I hadn’t said anything.  Grandma Elly acted like I announced I was going to rob banks and club seals with Ethan.  She and Grandpa John took some ballroom dance class back in 1987 and she could not stop talking about how awful it was.  "Her worst anniversary gift ever."  "Like driving a car with a stick shift."  She made me promise not to go, which I had to 'cause like Grandma Elly wouldn’t stop shrieking until I said I would.  I hate it when she starts shrieking.

When I told Ethan that my grandma made me promise not to take the dance class with him, he was all like “That’s a stupid reason” and he’s acting like I want to break up with him, which told him I definitely don’t want to do.   Anyways, Grandma Elly told dad about the class, and he was like, “Why don’t you find a nice gay boy to teach you how to ballroom dance?  Gay guys all know how to do that.  That’s how your Auntie Elizabeth learned to ballroom with your Uncle Anthony and got around Grandma Elly and her thing with ballroom dance classes.”  Aunt Liz and Uncle Anthony are the worst dancers I know.  I don’t know why my dad thinks they are so good. 

I was little when I was a flower girl at their wedding and I still remember the first time I saw them dance.   It was scary.   They were like jumping all over the dance floor and people were running to get away from them.  Second, why does my dad say these things about gays?  It’s so wrong.  Just because you are gay, you know about ballroom dancing?  And mom just goes along with him.  “Well, your father is the one paying all the bills since I quit pharmacy to run my sewing school and he knows all these gay people because of his film contracts.  Plus his friend Lawrence Poirier is super gay, so your dad knows all about gay people.”   Lawrence Poirier is the straightest, whitest gay, black dude I have ever met.  Saying you know gays because you know him is like saying you know transgender because you know Caitlyn Jenner.  My parents can be so dumb some time.  No help from them because they don’t want Grandma Elly shrieking at them either. 

Then today, I try to get together with Ethan after school and he says he can’t go because he’s taking the ballroom dance class with Shaniqua.   Boys are so stupid.   It’s not my fault I couldn’t go.  Why did he have to go with her?  She's so pretty and she's a senior.  He said he had to go with a partner and it's all I could do not to start crying right in front of him.

Dad came into my room to ask me why I was crying and I told him about Shaniqua and Ethan at the dance class.  He was all like "Shaniqua!  You don't have to worry about her.  Ethan will never go to prom with her."  Then he told me this story about how he dated some girl named Rhetta Blum and he was like "and I guess you could tell from her name why I didn't marry her!"  I don't know what he was talking about.  Dad can be really weird.  He doesn't get it.  Shaniqua is a senior and I'm just a freshman...who can't take dance classes because everyone in my family is afraid of my grandmother. 

My life sucks,
Meredith