Monday, August 25, 2008

The Wedding Kiss

I remember my wedding kiss well. My bride had informed me that the wedding kiss was an important event because you had to kiss passionately enough for the crowd to believe you were in love, while not so passionately as to repulse the crowd. She declared the timing of the kiss was crucial. We had been to a few weddings where the bride and groom gave each other a very quick unromantic smooch, and others where the kiss turned into a makeout session. Since this was important to my bride, I pretty much went along with her on the kiss length.

In today’s For Better or For Worse, I was reminded of that moment in my own wedding, as Elizabeth Patterson goes for a second kiss after uttering the mysterious words, “One more kiss and make a wish.” I was unable to find this wishing as a wedding tradition doing an internet search. I have never heard of such a thing in my personal experience, aside from wishing on shooting stars, or wishing as you blow out a birthday cake. Naturally, I think of Elizabeth presenting herself to Anthony as if she were a birthday cake to be blown out, or a shooting star to be wished upon. It is a disconcerting imagery.

It seems to me the wishing has been added by Lynn Johnston especially to get Anthony Caine to be able to say that all his wishes have come true. (My brain races to Jiminy Cricket and Pinocchio. “Now Anthony is a real boy.”) While that is a romantic sentiment, if my wife observed this moment in a wedding, she would wonder why the wedding couples was going for a second kiss and she would also wonder why they were standing around kissing instead of recessing.

Another interesting aspect of this sequence is the position of Elly and John silently looking on at Elizabeth and Anthony in all panels. This is a stark contrast to the Mike and Deanna wedding strips, where Elly was constantly saying things to John throughout.

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why did your wife feel that she had to convince the crowd you were in love? Every wedding I have ever been to, the kiss has been awkward. And, on every occasion, we all knew they were in love, just shy about kissing in front of so many people. We didn't feel the need to be convinced! :) So I'm confused. Is that a general belief--that the couple needs to worry about making the kiss look convincing?

I thought this strip was kind of awkward and ugly. The "ugly" part is the second panel. Lynn should have made this a full-size panel, especially since she decided to squish the kiss in between two people's silhouettes (presumably John and Elly). It just looks tiny, squashed, and malformed. And all out of proportion with the jumbo size third panel, which depicts a relatively much less important moment in the ceremony.

The awkward comes with the nonsense stuff Lynn puts in. The first is, why did John and Elly apparently get up and move to stand at the back of the aisle so they could hold hands and "frame" the wedding kiss? Nonsense. Who does that? More awkwardness is found in the "make a wish" thing, which is not a real wedding tradition. Lynn just made it up to justify having Anthony say all his dreams had come true in the last panel.

And an observation: Interestingly, we have Anthony, the non-Patterson, declaring his happiness and his wishes fulfilled. But Liz makes NO declarations of her own at all! During the ceremony, we did not see Liz's vow to LOVE, just her mental promise to have a lasting marriage. Liz continues to be coy to the point of coldness, even on her wedding day. Though she does seem happy, her actions to date lead me to conclude that her happiness is just because she finally isn't single anymore. I still don't think she's ever declared love for Anthony in a convincing fashion.

12:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

qnjones: I don't think it's a general belief - I certainly didn't care how it looked to the audience when my husband and I had our first kiss as a married couple. It was OUR kiss, not theirs.

However, some people are just more self-conscious about how they look at certain moments, I guess...

3rdd panel has to be bigger to hold the "huh, what this wish thing?" dialog that just turns out simply to be setup for Lynn's chosen 4th panel punchline.

1:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

qnjones,

Liz continues to be coy to the point of coldness, even on her wedding day. Though she does seem happy, her actions to date lead me to conclude that her happiness is just because she finally isn't single anymore. I still don't think she's ever declared love for Anthony in a convincing fashion.

I don't think she's capable of loving anyone. The Liz I know is more in love with the sensation of being wanted or the security marriage gives than the human beings around her. There are a lot of sad people like that and presenting her with a new thing to feel good about is not what I'd call a high note.

2:19 AM  
Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

howard,

Another interesting aspect of this sequence is the position of Elly and John silently looking on at Elizabeth and Anthony in all panels.

They've waited almost ten years to make sure that Liz marries a man who will never leave Milboring and had to endure the "indignity" of having them be interested in other people. Now that all that's been resolved, they can celebrate Liz marrying a bookkeeper at a used car lot who'll take Elly in when John dies.

Funny. I'm more moved by the death of Monarch Henchman Number 24 than the angst of opportunistic old people.

2:26 AM  
Blogger April Patterson said...

The awkward comes with the nonsense stuff Lynn puts in. The first is, why did John and Elly apparently get up and move to stand at the back of the aisle so they could hold hands and "frame" the wedding kiss? Nonsense. Who does that? More awkwardness is found in the "make a wish" thing, which is not a real wedding tradition. Lynn just made it up to justify having Anthony say all his dreams had come true in the last panel.

Yeah, we share a brain on all of this. The weird placement of John-an'-Elly is clearly a continuation of the forced parallelism yesterday's final frame set up with both couples thought-bubbling their promise. Since this coupling has been all about how much John/Elly have wanted them to get together, I suppose we shouldn't be surprised that today's strip horns them into just about every frame, however awkwardly. And you just know the KAN faithful are crying Kleenex-boxes worth of happy tears over this crappiness.

And the made-up "wish" thing is stupid and forced. All of Anthony's first-marriage-destroying wishes have come true. Yay? ::puke::

4:13 AM  
Blogger howard said...

qnjones,

So I'm confused. Is that a general belief--that the couple needs to worry about making the kiss look convincing?

It was less “convincing” and more “timing”. Not too short and not too long. As for the motivation, I remember listening to a group of single women I knew at the time actually have a discussion about the proper length of a wedding kiss. At the time, it was important to my wife and her circle of friends.

The awkward comes with the nonsense stuff Lynn puts in. The first is, why did John and Elly apparently get up and move to stand at the back of the aisle so they could hold hands and "frame" the wedding kiss? Nonsense. Who does that?

I am accustomed to the people standing when the bride and groom process out, but not during the kiss. On the other hand, Sunday’s strip made it look like people stood up for the whole thing.

And an observation: Interestingly, we have Anthony, the non-Patterson, declaring his happiness and his wishes fulfilled. But Liz makes NO declarations of her own at all!

With Liz, her declaration seems to mainly be, “I am willing to kiss you in public even more than I am obligated by the ceremony.”

Liz continues to be coy to the point of coldness, even on her wedding day. Though she does seem happy, her actions to date lead me to conclude that her happiness is just because she finally isn't single anymore. I still don't think she's ever declared love for Anthony in a convincing fashion.

She has, at least in one strip, told Anthony she loves him to his face. And while that was not convincing, it was one more time than Anthony has done the same for her.

7:10 AM  
Blogger howard said...

Anonymous,

I don't think it's a general belief - I certainly didn't care how it looked to the audience when my husband and I had our first kiss as a married couple. It was OUR kiss, not theirs. However, some people are just more self-conscious about how they look at certain moments, I guess...

Self-conscous, I suppose. However the idea that a kiss taken at a particular time in a public ceremony indicated by the wedding officiant, and done in front of a group of people for them to observe, is your kiss, not theirs, is an arguable point. Especially if the mother and father of the bride pick that moment to stand up, hold hands, and frame the moment.

7:10 AM  
Blogger howard said...

dreadedcandiru2,

I don't think she's capable of loving anyone. The Liz I know is more in love with the sensation of being wanted or the security marriage gives than the human beings around her.

If we are talking about Liz’s feelings on the matter, Lynn has crafted the strip to show Liz pick and try essentially every man available to her before finally considering Anthony. We also have the whole Coffee Talk letter from Lynn Johnston about how Anthony is the good choice because that’s the one her parents like. If she has any feelings on the matter at all, it would be a satisfaction that she has done what her parents want, and the hope that they have made the right choice for her.

Another interesting aspect of this sequence is the position of Elly and John silently looking on at Elizabeth and Anthony in all panels.

This is the evidence that we are seeing a wedding moment created by John and Elly, because they believe it matches their own marriage.

7:11 AM  
Blogger howard said...

aprilp_katje,

And the made-up "wish" thing is stupid and forced. All of Anthony's first-marriage-destroying wishes have come true. Yay? ::puke::

This is Anthony and Elizabeth: Second Chances. With that perspective, it is not “first-marriage-destroying”, it is “Elizabeth should have been available for Anthony to propose to back in university, and she blew it, so Anthony proposed to the wrong girl”. Finally, things have been put the way they were supposed to be. That appears to me to be the moral standpoint of the strip, and it is the failure of the author that after writing this story for over 10 years now, even on the wedding day of redemption, she has yet to make a proper case for this point of view.

7:13 AM  
Blogger DreadedCandiru2 said...

howard,

If she has any feelings on the matter at all, it would be a satisfaction that she has done what her parents want, and the hope that they have made the right choice for her.

It always struck me as odd that Liz based her life on the need to have her parents' affection and approval. After all, they're not immortal and sooner or later, she'll have a great big void to fill in her life. How will she live when they're no longer there to tell her she's a good girl?

8:27 AM  
Blogger howard said...

DreadedCandiru2,

It always struck me as odd that Liz based her life on the need to have her parents' affection and approval.

In the beginning it was the opposite of that. Lynn wrote strips which showed Liz chose northern Ontario specifically to get away from her parents. In many respects, the story of Liz is the story of a rebel finally learning her parents were right all along.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geez, why didn't Lynn have John and Elly just renew their vows, instead of putting Liz through this farce of a wedding. The flowes, dress, tuxes, etc. were more fitting in their day. And what is with the "You may kiss YOUR bride." Well in marriage according to Anthony and Liz, she is now his and truly TAKEN. Gag me with a spoon!!

10:54 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Damnit. They actually went through with it. I figured it would happen, but a part of me REALLY, REALLY, wanted Liz to run away before it happened. But no. They're married. It's over.

12:14 PM  
Blogger howard said...

Anonymous

And what is with the "You may kiss YOUR bride."

There are aspects to the wedding which are very traditional. For example, the RSVPs to the wedding went to Elly and not Liz, despite the fact that Liz had her own separate address. John walked Liz down with her on his right, in the style of British royal weddings. And “You may kiss YOUR bride" is also very traditional. Of course there were many other parts of a traditional wedding which were not followed, so it appears Lynn picked the traditions she liked.

12:41 PM  
Blogger howard said...

Lindsey,

I figured it would happen, but a part of me REALLY, REALLY, wanted Liz to run away before it happened. But no. They're married. It's over.

There was never a question that Liz would get married. The storyline where Lynn tried to keep us guessing was “to whom?” she would marry. Lynn spent way too much developing the romantic storyline between Liz and Anthony for it to be any other man.

12:41 PM  

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