I’ll Have Kids, with Respect on the Side
The idea that having children confers respect is not uncommon in For Better or For Worse. I remember that Gordon Mayes managed to get respect from his alcoholic father by getting married and having children. What is different between Elly, her mother, and Elly’s children is the means by which respect is not shown to children. Elly apparently got a weeklong lecture from her mother. Elly’s means of parenting seemed to be limited to unhinging her jaw and shrieking. While Michael Patterson seems to be more into the “give the child a wicked stare to discipline them" routine. I can’t really decide which of those methods is worse.
The method of parenting is not being passed down from generation to generation, even if the means by which status in the family is. It was interesting in seeing this shown so plainly. We make jokes about how the Pattersons considered Elizabeth in her unmarried and without kids state. In this old strip, here is Elly, who has kids, talking about getting treated like a kid, just because she visited once without her kids. It’s a sort of “I must treat someone like a kid, and if you didn’t bring any, then you’re the kid” thinking. Bizarre.
I remember, early in my marriage, my wife used to be called to have dinner with her dad, which she did for a few times, until she realized the purpose of the dinner was for her father to convey to her all the criticisms my step-mom had about the way my wife was handling her marriage. Needless to say, my wife started finding excuses not to go to those dinners. You see my father-in-law has been married 5 times and my step-mother-in-law is on her second marriage; so their lectures of my wife were a little on the hypocritical side.
The method of parenting is not being passed down from generation to generation, even if the means by which status in the family is. It was interesting in seeing this shown so plainly. We make jokes about how the Pattersons considered Elizabeth in her unmarried and without kids state. In this old strip, here is Elly, who has kids, talking about getting treated like a kid, just because she visited once without her kids. It’s a sort of “I must treat someone like a kid, and if you didn’t bring any, then you’re the kid” thinking. Bizarre.
I remember, early in my marriage, my wife used to be called to have dinner with her dad, which she did for a few times, until she realized the purpose of the dinner was for her father to convey to her all the criticisms my step-mom had about the way my wife was handling her marriage. Needless to say, my wife started finding excuses not to go to those dinners. You see my father-in-law has been married 5 times and my step-mother-in-law is on her second marriage; so their lectures of my wife were a little on the hypocritical side.
posted by howard at 12:06 AM
8 Comments:
howtheduck, I couldn't resist having April say that Mike and Dee were taking their first no-kids vacation to Mexico at Elly's behest, as this is what parents do! This will place April at the Pattermanse from whichever point you will be departing IRL. I figure that this also gives you the opportunity to snark on some of the old John/Elly Mexico vacation strips, via Mike. :)
Ah, yes. The quest for status. That's sort of a theme in the strip, isn't it? It occurs to me that even if Liz and Anthony do get married, she'll still be a second-class citizen in the eyes of her family because she's 'just' a step-mother. Let's hope she can have children of her own, otherwise she'll go to her grave in Mike's shadow.
aprilp_katje,
Mexican vacation is a nice touch. Just how early in the strip did John and Elly start taking those vacations? Was in the early 1980s?
DreadedCandiru2,
I’m not sure how Pattersons consider step-mothers. I can only think of one step in the strip, and that is Greg Thomas, Lawrence Poirier’s step-dad. Of Elly’s friends’ husbands, he ranks above Steve Nichols. His behaviour when Lawrence came out was not so good, although he didn’t throw him permanently out of the house.
I'd say, and this is just me, that stepfathers rank above stepmothers in the Pattersons' eyes. There's something about a woman over, say, twenty-five without a child of her own that bothers Lynn. Doesn't matter if the woman can raise the child, it's something she's more or less gotta do. In Lynn's words, it's the truth. It happens. Men can be step-dads but women should not be step-moms without at least trying for a 'real' child.
howtheduck, I'm not sure about when the Mexican vacations started, but I don't think it was before the 1990s.
Connie is a stepmother, too. When she first married Greg, his teenage daughters Molly and Gayle moved in with them. They played a fairly significant role in the strip for a while, but eventually they disappeared. I'm not sure whether the strip ever specified that they went back to their mother, or whether they were silently eliminated.
In case you want a head's up:
The strip that shows up right after today's has Elly urging Gramps to smoke less and asking why she wears so much blue and doesn't change her hair (!). Marian tells her they've always been sorry she didn't finish university. I'm guessing Lynn will skip over this one, as she did the one that appeared just before today's (Elly wants to know when one becomes a mature adult, and Marian says that, at over 60, she's still waiting).
Most likely, tomorrow's will be Elly, Gramps, and the kids along the side of a lake, with Gramps lamenting that "these visits are just too short" and remembering with Elly was "as small as Elizabeth."
The strip after that has Elly's return to the house in Milborough (John has cleaned).
comments, advance!
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